SPOOKSHOW-CARNY METAL.
Posted on October 22, 2015 2 Comments
There are some things in life that you just can’t shut up about. Take for example, spookshow-carny metal like San Diego’s VICTIM. Spookshow-carny metal? If this sounds like familiar content around here, well, that’s because it is. We’ve even showcased this band before (also in October, mind you) and not to regurgitate the same content as prior years but an incident the other night left me with a new outlook..
Quick story. At a concert recently I spotted an ageing rock fan probably in his 50s or so. He had a platinum-blonde, true-blue mullet and a leather trenchcoat with…ready?…a massive AIRBRUSHED painting of Iron Maiden’s ‘Eddie’ mascot on the back. The airbrushing was PURE sleazy-neon-boardwalk style and I was floored to say the least. I meant to shake this guy’s hand, offer to buy him a beer, ask him what bridge he sleeps under at night and possibly take a photo of the jacket…but I forgot, and now live with regret. Sure, the image of this triumphant trenchcoat is burned into my brain but there’s no actual tangible evidence – and that’s a problem.
The point is, to avoid regret sometimes you just gotta’ go for it. This brings us to VICTIM, a band who released an album in 1982 called ‘Power Hungry’ that we definitely can’t shut up about any longer. Before today, we only featured one of the band’s songs on 2013’s Death to False Vamps mix. Right now it’s time to revisit this tough-as-nails performance video of the boys slicing and dicing through this incredible song.
If that video violence doesn’t give you goosebumps, you better check yourself for a pulse. The graininess of the video even adds a layer of dusty filth that you simply couldn’t create these days with a camera. Beyond the title track, VICTIM deliver a leather-clad slap to your face through every track on ‘Power Hungry’ with their oozy blend of spookshow-carny metal, as we like to call it. Just a friendly reminder for folks who might be confused, this genre we coined isn’t a category that’s a reflection of lyrical content but rather the vibe when hearing it that just evokes that gut-punching, butt-head rock blaring on loudspeakers outside funhouses during the closing hours at your local carnival…when all the managers and security are long gone. After hour activity at a traveling fair/carnival/boardwalk can be dangerous, seductive and can make for memories to be made by those who dare to venture inside. Similar to what happens in Santa Carla on the boardwalk once the sun goes down, most people flock away from these places once nighttime comes. TNUC & family are completely the opposite. We wait until the witching hour to arrive, when all the families have gone home and all that’s left are the vampires, drifters, mutants and detention-hall-delinquents — roaming the amusement rides and blasting music from boomboxes. This is when obscure bands like VICTIM are discovered booming from the stereos of local carnies.
At the end of each October – after listening to favorites by Dio, Dokken, Grim Reaper, WASP, Fastway and even the Halloween 3 and Creepshow soundtracks – these records start to grow cobwebs and this is when I turn to obscure bands like VICTIM. I highly recommend galloping into the night tonight and finding ‘Power Hungry’ from your local record dealer or guy who sells LPs and cassettes from the back of his van. If locating the vinyl LP ends up being too difficult, the cheapest and easiest way to own it is purchasing the digital version on iTunes for the little cost of $6.93. Hell, with cheap prices like that you’ll have enough money leftover to grab one of TNUC’s new merch items (t-shirts, gloves, prints & more) in our store!
The good news about traditional spookhouses, funhouses, creepshows, dark rides and wacky shacks is that these places haven’t really gone anywhere! You can still find them at most carnivals or fairs and even the classic airbrushed artwork remains most of the time. During my younger years I thought the artwork was almost too good for the actual inside attraction, but growing up has made me wise and appreciative of everything the spookhouse has to offer. While certain ones which guide you by a mechanized cart are sometimes wobbly and questionably safe, that’s part of the thrill. That cardboard Dracula spitting stale, chlorinated water in your girlfriends face? Accept it. Cherish it.
OCTOBER’S LOST LEGEND OF THE MONTH: MALI-BOO.
Posted on October 19, 2015 4 Comments
Symbols of Halloween come in all shapes and sizes. For many of us, Elvira and her big beautiful features are ideal representations of this time of year. Whether it be horror-hosting an all-night movie marathon or emerging from the foggy pale moonlight for a sexy photoshoot, the Mistress of the Dark’s contribution to all-things-spooktacular over the past 30 years is without question, legendary.
Well then, who exactly is this cool ghoul behind her on this Coors Light promotional standee??? Ladies and gentlemen, raise those cups of party punch in the air and say hello to our Lost-Legend-Of-The-Month for October, “Mali-Boo” from ‘Elvira and the Party Monsters’!
First appearing in a series of Coors Light commercials during the late 1980’s, the ‘Party Monsters’ were Elvira’s personal group of devoted disciples who danced and partied behind her wherever she went. Each of them represented iconic figures of Halloween, including a wolfman (Beer Wolf), a vampire, a few witches, a mummy and a Frankenstein-inspired character who would soon persevere to greater levels than most of his merry Monsters. (most being the word here. We all know Coors Light’s Beer Wolf would catapult to SUPREME status and certainly needs no introduction here). One of the commercials is set on “Mali-Boo Beach” and features Elvira and her pals hanging out on the beach, soaking up the cosmic rays on their dead flesh. During this scene a Frankenstein character pops up but it’s nothing to make us viewers think he’s anything else beyond some guy they plastered some Frankenstein makeup on.
Gravestone Pizza? Someone order me a large cheese because this place sounds fantastic.
Following the commercials, the gaming company Bally released the ‘Elvira and the Party Monsters’ pinball machine which found popularity in arcade centers, malls, bars and homes of people who could afford it. Again, the stone-cold-stud appeared but was merely a ghoul among other ghouls. However his rise to individual 10-second fame would come soon enough…
KABOOM. Out of nowhere Mali-Boo got his big break in an exclusive photoshoot pairing with Elvira which generated promotional items for liquor/grocery stores like the standee pictured here. Standing crotch-to-butt behind Elvira in a hot-orange “bone” tank-top, purple bat shorts, Daytona Beach shades and pumpkin ballcap, Mali-Boo looked to be in the best shape of his career and ready to rise to fame. Was this sudden push from Coors Light a sign that the company had chosen their new mascot? Were they attempting to chain up Beer Wolf and send Mali-Boo tearing into the 1990’s? Was the evolution of Mali-Boo a natural progression or conscious plan? Before we could unfold the new chapter in this green-teen’s story, he vanished.
R.I.P.?
Mali-Boo’s continuing legacy remains a mystery. This promising lost legend could have done wonders for the rest of the Party Monsters by paving the way for the rest of them to share the spotlight. (Much like how Count Chocula was the torchbearer for the rest of the General Mills cereal monsters like Boo Berry, Frute Brute, Frankenberry and Yummy Mummy.) It was easy for some people to write him off as a “fill in the spot” Frankenstein character for the Halloween season – but I don’t think the Coors Light laboratory scientists had such simple intentions. Plus, Elvira didn’t just pose with anyone. She’s the Mistress of the goddamn Dark with a reputation to withhold. Her standees are now high-dollar, sought after items and besides a few flying bats and Beer Wolf, the only other person she posed with was this beach bonehead.
Here’s hoping Mali-Boo makes a huge return in 2015/2016. Of course we’d prefer a Beer Wolf return 100x more, but really any of the Party Monsters will do (if done correctly with neon colors and short-shorts). We currently have a team of expert counselors at Camp TNÜC working around the clock trying to speak with a Coors Light representative about the fate of the Boo’. If they completely drop the ball, we’ll be contacting the soft drink company Surge to persuade them into adopting him for their promotions. You disciples will be the first to know if we hear anything.
[Lost-Legend-Of-The-Month is a heartwrenching chronicle of forgotten iconic warriors who were either wiped off the face of the planet for reasons unknown or simply never got the chance to “peak” during their short-lived careers. We cherish these individuals and devote an entire month to celebrate their impact on society. To see the rest of em’, go here.]
MONSTER MUFF.
Posted on October 13, 2015 8 Comments
Behold, the spookiest nudie spread your virgin eyes will ever see thanks to the dreamiest she-devil this side of paradise, Barbara Crampton. Note #1: the following photos feature content rated NSFW, partly due to a patch of classic monster muff from 1986. Note #2: It’s perfectly acceptable to hum the tune of ‘Monster Mash’ while replacing the words with “monster muff”.
In the December 1986 issue of Playboy, scream queen Barbara Crampton bared it all in a feature the magazine called “Simply Beastly”. Most known for starring in genre favorites like Re-Animator, Chopping Mall, From Beyond and 2011’s You’re Next – the sultry staple of the horror community made everyone’s fantasies come together by combining full frontal nudity with good ol’, pre-CGI monsters. If your initial thoughts are MARRY ME BARBARA – don’t fret because these are natural symptoms while staring at a buxom blonde surrounded by hideous rubber puppets.
It isn’t mentioned in the article but it’s fair to assume that infamous creature-feature icon Charles Band and his production company Empire Pictures wheeled some kind of deal with Playboy to make this happen. I’m actually shocked that this shoot didn’t inspire more music video directors of the era to come up with music videos pairing babes & beasts. Can you imagine a band like Ratt hiring some sexy models and making a video with Belial from Basket Case? Or how about some Critters tearing up a hotel room with Skid Row? Ronnie James Dio being chased through the woods by The Blob? It’s a complete no-brainer. Especially with Charles Band’s reputation in the horror community for going after anything he sees with a dollar sign over it. Of course they did pull this off with W.A.S.P.’s video for “Scream Until You Like It” from the Ghoulies 2 soundtrack. Pure gold.
The heavenly love nest pictured above and below are personal favorites. Ghoulies?! Yes, those slimy creatures from the Ghoulies movies climb aboard Barbara’s bed for a little between the sheets action – the best part being a ‘fish’ ghoulie checking her out while he cranks tunes on his headphones and smokes a cig.
The only thing that could have possibly made this better would be if our Boglin buddies had made an appearance. I can’t help imagining a sexy swamp shoot featuring Babs sprawled out on a raft of lily pads and those pesky Boglins making a ruckus nearby.
Not sure who this pizza guy corpse is, but he’s welcome to submit an application for a kitchen job at Camp TNUC anytime. The offer is on the table!
Did these pictures get your blood pumping? Let’s end with some music to commemorate Barbara Crampton’s busty contributions to monster movies…
CAMP THREADS.
Posted on October 5, 2015 8 Comments
Hot from the bowels of our kitchen, we proudly present the all-new Camp TNUC seasonal merchandise splurge! Because it’s our 30th anniversary, we ventured into some uncharted territory this year. All merchandise is for sale right now in our store, but here’s a little information on the items…
1) ‘COUNSELOR’ T-Shirt
“A leather-clad child thunders down the dirt path to Camp TNUC. He is the man that doesn’t die. He is the outlaw that rides. The Hell Hound. The Manimal. Your #1 Counselor!” Join us in celebrating 30 years of savage terror at Camp TNUC with this limited-edition ‘Counselor’ shirt! 100% cotton. Artwork by Vanessa Vanya. Backside features the large Manimal logo and frontside features a left breasted TNÜC logo. Up for grabs right now in the store.
2) TNÜC ‘CREEPER’ Gloves
All you prowlers and slashers are going to think you died and went to heaven (or hell if that’s your place) when you try on TNÜC’s FINGERLESS LEATHER ‘CREEPER’ GLOVES! Also ideal for night drives, iron pumping, opening sudsy beers and lead singer power screeching. Choose to wear them as a pair or “single” for supreme nastiness. TNÜC embroidery on the velcro closure strap!
For more information and photos, check them out in the store.
3) ‘CAMP LIFE’ Print
A slice of life at Camp TNUC can now adorn your walls with this gorgeous hand drawn depiction by one of our longest running counselors, Vanessa Vanya. Can you spot all the hidden easter eggs in this print? THERE ARE MANY.
Printed on luxurious, heavy-duty card stock and limited to only 20 pieces! Measures approx. 13½” x 7¾”. Also for sale in the store.
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My serious thanks and appreciation to all the supporters and disciples of TNUC out there who have ever clicked one of our links, listened to a mix, watched a video, shared something TNUC related with a pal or have bought something in the store! This paraphernalia takes time and effort – without your support and comments TNUC would lose its lifeblood. THANK YOU!!! I’d also like to give a big thumbs up to Blankstyle.com, who executed these new t-shirts with absolute precision!
***Order at least (3) items in the store and enter code MANIMAL for a 20% discount on your entire order***
HE’S BACK (THE MAN BEHIND THE MANIMAL).
Posted on October 1, 2015 5 Comments
The 30th anniversary of CAMP TNUC is among us! Before we take part in the usual nasty hijinks, your head Camp Counselor Uncle T has something disturbing to confess. For the first time in the history of this place, he’d like to clear the air and let everyone know that HE has been the “Manimal”…stalking, lurking and creeping around cabins since around 1985. Yes, that deformed and grotesque thing in the woods that’s become a legend over moonlit campfires has been Uncle T himself, playing the studly counselor part during the day and a raw-meat eating, axe-wielding Manimal at night.
Why turn an innocent sleepaway camp into a land of “blood, babes and boogeymen”? (As beautifully stated by TrueHorrorNet)
It all started with just a little foolin’ to shake up the staff. A few innocent gags – like tossing Chef Helga’s hairnet into the new kid’s soup, pouring liquid heat in one of the counselor’s jockstraps, hiding cockroaches in the dinner salads during “health day” and flying an Omega Moo’s XXL-panties high on the flagpole. But as years passed, late night tales were shared among neighboring camps about these homicidal maniacs named Jason, Angela and Cropsey – dark figures of the night who were said to have terrorized promiscuous victims in the woods and seemed like they were having SO MUCH FUN. These up and coming psychos were really making a name for themselves and as far as we were concerned, they were stiff competition. If Camp TNUC was to go down in legend, we needed a legendary deranged misfit to wreak havoc and scare the willies out of every brainless, perky-chested brat to wander these woods. Someone who could live forever. Someone who could vanish into the pitch blackness and never come close to being found by authorities. No suspects. No leads. An unstoppable evil that never dies. When he could no longer bare not having such a distinguished maniac at our camp, he created a night beast. He created a M A N I M A L.
OK…with that heavy burden now lifted, it’s time to get start the ceremonial events. So roll out those sleeping bags, grab some beer n’ Doritos…and meet us down by the fire!
For all the new blood visiting our haunted campgrounds this year, don’t let TNUC’s confession send you running back to grandma. It isn’t total bloodshed and disaster over here. Our seasonal brochure promised tons of October fun and that’s exactly what we’re going to deliver. Here’s what we guarantee for accommodations:
Each cabin comes fully stocked with the following necessities…(1) TV/VCR combo for those horror movie all-nighters, (2) Mystery box of horror VHS, (3) McDonald’s “McBoo” pails filled with candy, (4) Dimly lit lighting effects to create eerie atmospheres at night, and (5) Stacks of nudie magazines.
Grab some dinner by 8:30 p.m. because after that our Mess Hall becomes
a battlefield of flying pizza, sloppy joe’s, mustard, hot dogs, apple pie and whipped cream during our nightly food fights. #1 rule of the roost in the mess hall: If you DON’T participate in the daily full-fledged food fights, you’re banned and are forced to scourge the forest for dinner (while Manimal lurks with his trusty axe in the distance).
During the day, borrow one of our canoes or jet skis for some fun out on the water. Or paddle out to the floating raft with your friends to smoke a joint and do some diving. But before you do, a word to the wise…some campers have reported a strange oil slick that follows people around the lake, trying to grab and suffocate you to death. Skinny-dippers have been the first ones to disappear. Hope you’re a fast swimmer!
Relax girls. The outdoor showers at Camp TNUC are safe (enough). Just remember to periodically look up to make sure our former head cook “Sludge” isn’t hanging in the trees peeping down at you. We fired him years ago for bad behavior but girls still say that towels go missing and they hear heavy breathing near the shower stalls.
Nightly entertainment can be seen and heard at our main amphitheater known as “The Pit”. Come snack on fried dough and huge bowls of generic-red punch while you bang your heads to vampire rock bands. On nights when there’s a full moon, a rumbling in “The Pit” happens when the clock strikes midnight, resulting in undead babes rising from the dirt and dancing till’ dawn!
Brisk nights at camp always benefit from a good dose of maximum tunage to get the blood pumping. Every TNUC Halloween mix can be heard on our Haunted Hits! page, which you can access on the right column or at this location!
Did you hear about Camp TNUC’s all new merchandise for 2015? New t-shirts, posters and fingerless gloves (yes) for sale! It’s all available on Monday, 10/5/15 – only here!!!!!!!
HUGE thanks to Vanessa from Vanessa Vanya Draws Stuff for creating TNUC’s new spooked-out illustrations for our 30th anniversary bash. Influenced by high-school-detention-hall-heavy-metal prodigies of 1985, her work breathed new life into the rotting soil of this haunted campground! If you like what you see, all artwork will be available to purchase this Monday, 10/5/15!
SOMETHING TO TIDE YOU OVER.
Posted on September 28, 2015 3 Comments
“Get in that hole, TNUC.”
Hopefully this recent photo session made possible by Iris MacKinnon Photography helps you sustain your nightly blood lust for what’s coming to Camp TNUC in the next few days. Pictured above is a perfect example of an innocent day on the beach that turned into something truly evil after we summoned the spirits of the late, great Leslie Nielsen and the (still alive) Ted Danson. This reenactment of the classic daytime horror scene from Stephen King & George Romero’s CREEPSHOW was the perfect way to close out summer.
See you at Camp very soon.
uncletnuc.com 