TIM CAPPELLO BUDDIES FOR LIFE.
Posted on December 10, 2025 Leave a Comment
We live in trying times. An age of unparalleled divide where the future can sometimes look a little bleak. Often times it takes a beacon of light to shine through and remind us that there is still good in this world. Today a glimmer of hope comes from the oily, shirtless, saxophone icon Tim Cappello from 1987’s The Lost Boys.
Pinch me because I must be dreaming. TIM CAPPELLO “wrestling” BUDDIES now exist. Made by the independent company Tapes from the Crypt, these buddies are just like the WWF Wrestling Buddies released in 1990 by Tonka. BOP ‘EM, POUND ‘EM, HUG ‘EM!
The “I Still Believe” saxophone legend now joins the elite group of superstars — Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Ultimate Warrior, The Million Dollar Man and boy does he fit right in! The fact that we live in an age where something like this exist is a gift. Never in a million years could I have imagined while watching The Lost Boys as a kid that one day a ‘buddy’ version would be something made available. It’s both head-scratching and incredible. But the best part? The stuffed manimal comes with a saxophone accessory which with a press of a button plays the anthem “I Still Believe”. See video below.
Klonk ’em! Bonk ’em! Tug ’em! Hug ’em! These buddies want to be your best buddies. They’re all soft, safe and durable for fun-filled, rough-and-tumble play! Take your Tim Cappello buddy to the beach for a concert and have him strut his stuff for the ladies in the audience to swoon over. Then jump on a motorcycle and ride to Hudson’s bluff overlooking the point!
MYSTERY MEAT MIX 4: FOWL PLAY.
Posted on November 21, 2025 1 Comment
After last year’s “incident” that we’re not allowed to talk about, especially around the elderly family members who get really bent out of shape when it’s mentioned, Uncle T was banished from all family gatherings. I can’t get into specifics on exactly what happened but let’s just say the joyful family gettogether around the dinner table ended with an empty bottle of Wild Turkey, his brother’s front yard bushes on fire, Jell-O belly-slides and a literal reenactment of Kevin McCallister sledding down the stairs and crashing through the front door. The youngsters had the time of their lives watching the debauchery unfold…a memory they’ll cherish forever. The older folks looked on with sheer terror.
His heart was in the right place but at the end of the day, his heart is bigger than his brain.
After that year, the phone stopped ringing. Then the interventions and restraining orders came next. Finally, when he’d show up to Thanksgiving dinner at his older and very conservative brother’s house, the lights would turn off but he could smell the aroma of a fresh roasted turkey and indoor cigarettes. Heartbroken and enraged, Uncle T spent the next several Thanksgivings shunned and treated like a Jehovah Witness wherever he would show up. He was forced to spend his favorite day of the year at VFW halls and half-empty meat raffle banquets. All he wished for was a wholesome holiday spread of glistening turkey, candied yams, broccoli puff, crescent rolls, ambrosia salad, Aunt Bethany’s cat food casserole, cranberry sauce, seventeen pounds of mashed potatoes and a twinkle in the eye of Grandmother TNUC.
That’s right. Granny TNUC always had his back, even in the lowest of times. She even came to his aid when he was arrested for mopery in the fall of ’84. If we had to make a comparison, Granny T is the spitting image and personality of “Grandma Arbuckle” from Garfield.
With a heart of gold and a recipe book that would make so called “top chefs” of today drop to their knees and beg for buttermilk, the old woman is a masterclass in everything she does. Her eyesight might not be what it was and she’s insistent on keeping “the old cruise control” set at 35 mph on the expressway, but we let it slide. Most importantly, she always sticks up for her grandson, Uncle T.
When the old bird found out how the family were neglecting him on this blessed holiday, she skipped going to Sunday mass (never happens) and hopped in her Buick to go pay a visit to the relatives. Legend has it that Granny erupted in such a rage that the foundation of the house actually shook. “I’m so angry I could spit!” She even ripped the the tennis balls from the bottom of her walker and threw them right at cousin Denny’s head. She also didn’t take her laxative medicine that day.
Before Granny T left the house, she pulled a cassette out of her purse and tossed it on the kitchen table. In crude pencil on the cover it read MYSTERY MEAT MIX 4: FOWL PLAY. “This is what your thoughtful Uncle made and wanted you people to hear. Now live with that.” She lit up a Virginia Slim cigarette and stormed out of the house.
We hope you enjoy our 4th entry in TNUC’s ‘Mystery Meat’ series. The only Thanksgiving mixtapes on earth! As usual, these are best listened to on the road or surrounded by family, friends and food. Please share it with as many people as humanly possible…even grandma!
Want all (4) Mystery Meat Mixtapes in high-quality download?
Send $20 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity. Happy Holidays!)
PILGRIM WAX TERROR.
Posted on November 18, 2025 Leave a Comment
It probably goes without explaining why the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts is a hotbed of historical activity. This includes, but is not limited to, an annual hometown Thanksgiving Parade, the landmark “Plymouth Rock”, a beautiful recreation of the Mayflower ship and the grandest of them all — Plymouth Plantation, a living history museum at the most authentic setting imaginable, the actual original settlement established in the 17th century by the English colonists who became known as the Pilgrims.
However here at TNUC we’re fascinated with the abandoned and ancient gems of society. The Plymouth National Wax Museum has long been closed down for reasons I will not understand. My only two guesses would be the decaying state of the old wax figures or perhaps some of the displays are seen as offensive towards the indigenous people. It’s a shame because the best wax museums are the old, unchanged ones! Give me a dated and lower-budget wax museum over a state of the art Hollywood display any day.
As seen in the following postcards from the museum is a glimpse at the harsh conditions of pilgrims and the Native Americans. The nightmarish terror really comes into play in the facial expressions and dead-eyes of the wax figures. Just imagine the lights turning off and being locked inside the Plymouth Wax Museum like the plot of 1988’s Waxwork.
If that wasn’t enough, several years following the business closing, an artist named Sam Durant acquired one of the scenes from the defunct museum. He transformed the pieces into a exhibit titled “Scenes from the Pilgrim Story: Myths, Massacres and Monuments” which was displayed in a gallery at the Massachusetts College of Art and Design in 2006.
Above from Sam Durant’s gallery. They look so happy.
This is all the more reason why I feel so strongly that we need a well done pilgrim and/or Thanksgiving movie. After the dust settled from Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving (2023), things just seem very incomplete. His movie was a decent, modern slasher but my problem with it was the killer, “John Carver”, a character who even though borrows from the name of an actual pilgrim who arrived on the Mayflower, has zero connection or ties to anything historical within the storyline. He ended up being (spoiler alert) just a local lunatic cop who thought it would be clever to dress up like a pilgrim and play cell phone tricks on teenagers to kill them one-by-one. An OK slasher plot? I guess so, but it can’t be our only pilgrim/Thanksgiving horror movie. No sir. There is work to be done here.
With all the bloodshed and hard times the Native Americans and early settlers faced, it demands a great story told from someone like Robert Eggers or Quentin Tarantino. There are endless possibilities for depth here and it doesn’t even need to be in the horror genre. A revenge story centered around King Philip, the Wampanoag chief centered of the bloodiest war in American history in 1675, whos wife and son who were captured and sold as slaves, would absolutely rule.
WRONG PLANET.
Posted on November 13, 2025 Leave a Comment
GATEKEEPER are back to take us on a decent into madness with the new album, Wrong Planet.
It’s been over a decade since their last recorded music and we as fans, supporters and disciples wondered if the synth-psychos were finished. While the occasional DJ mix and fashion show score would surface throughout the years, it didn’t appear that fully developed, new music was of interest from the group. This notion was particularly agonizing because Gatekeeper were really, I mean REALLY onto something. In a sea of electro copycats of the time, they carved their own path and were always sonically against the grain. The ominous, fantasy-dungeon synths and exotic textures are incomparable to anything – especially their contemporaries.
I caught Gatekeeper’s live show a number of times in Los Angeles and it was always memorable. Instead of the typical backdrop of screens, they utilized chain-link fence, palm plants and of course — a gargantuan amount of fog. Their music has aged like a fine goblet of wine over the years and still sounds ahead of its time. I always admired this about them and it made the project unforgettable. I still listen to 2009’s Optimus Maximus and 2010’s Giza as if they were fresh, new releases.
Well someone must have solved the puzzle box to summon the synth duo from the murky depths because they are back with a vengeance on the new album, Wrong Planet.
Pardon my French, but this album is completely fucking insane. I might as well just end the review right here and insist that everyone reading this go enter the realm at www.WRONG-PLANET.com. As with all Gatekeeper albums, they’ve created a visual accompaniment which is a must-see part of the listening experience. In the past the group have released everything from an HDVHS tape of music videos to a custom USB flash drive. This time around we’re getting a “visualizer” Winamp player straight out of a computer nightmare circa 1997. The work they’ve put into what’s presented here for Wrong Planet is staggering and so damn impressive. Check it out for yourself…they have such sights to show you.
The songs on the album see the duo return to their medieval paradise but it’s expanded and morphed into something heavier. To my ears it’s less about ‘old sounds’ and ‘future sounds’ and instead exists on its own plane, devoid of time and space. It’s refreshing to hear because they originally tapped into such an unmistakable sound with their earlier releases but just when it felt like it was going to peak, they detoured.
Wrong Planet is an achievement that perfectly defines what makes Gatekeeper stand out from the rest. Tracks like ‘Breadmaker’, ‘Rats’ and ‘Hibernal Torment’ are probably what the Cenobites would have been listening to down in whatever hellscape they lived in. This is one of those rare pieces of work that you will want to live inside for a while. Experience the new sounds, chimes and ear candy that just doesn’t exist…or at least hasn’t until now. There is a lot to unfold.
Gatekeeper aren’t simply resorting back to old tricks. It’s quite the opposite as the group discovers a heaviness and confidence that creeps from their lair and is poised to smother today’s musical landscape. Be warned. It’s about to get very interesting.
“Beneath the earth still lies phantasmic emerald paradises”
– Elijah Blue Allman
AT DAWN HE SLEEPS.
Posted on October 24, 2025 8 Comments
Grave news for people who thought Count T had vanished for all of eternity since lesbian vampires turned him into a castle rat after placing a curse on him over a decade ago.
I know that opening sentence is a lot to sink your fangs into, so here’s some clarification: Back in 2013, fresh on the heels of the “Death to False Vamps” mixtape, the hottest bloodsucking mixtape in all of medieval Europe, Count T and his countesses were riding high on success. They threw lavish parties at Castle TNUC and spent their shillings on every luxurious item imaginable. We’re talking new hunchbacked servants, jesters, wenches, executioners, platinum horse-drawn carriages, a state-of-the-art dungeon, the world’s biggest pipe organ, a pack of wolves, magic mirrors, mountains of cocaine and a beer-filled moat around the castle. Special guests flocked to the castle from the likes of Charles Bronson, Anna Nicole Smith, Eddie Van Halen, Leslie Nielsen and Bela Lugosi. Yes, it was indeed a dead man’s party and who could ask for more?
At this high peak of Count T’s reign over the gypsies and dominance over the villages, suddenly there appeared to be a very serious decline in vampires VS vampiresses. While the female over male ratio was never a problem for Count T (of course he preferred it), this was a glaring problem that needed to be rooted out. Our male vamp population was dwindling.
It was soon discovered from his private-investigator-dwarf-slave that a trio of lesbian vampires named Fran, Mirium and Gertrude had been “offing” our male talent. These dastardly women had a stronger passion than the love they shared…an unnatural lust for the blood of all men!
Vampires killing vampires. What was their intention, you ask? To cast out all men (including their leader) and take over the castle.
One evening while Count T was nestled softly in his satin-lined coffin after a long night of bloody marys and bloody marias, the wicked wenches broke into his quarters and cursed him — turning him into a castle rat!
For the next 12 years, Count T spent his life as a furry vermin inside the murky dungeon and cobwebbed staircases of the castle. However what the wenches failed to realize was that his entire time was spent plotting and planning their demise…and eating lots of cheese. He had a newfound respect for medieval rodents as he knew the transformation was not permanent. Soon he would reign again and reclaim the dark throne as the most feared and lusted over Count in all of old Gothic Europe.
“Furry T” and the other radical rats of the castle formed a colony and with the assistance of a hideous but intelligent leper who was chained up in the dungeon, they crafted a mixtape of songs to conjure the bloodthirsty spirit of Count T. They called it AT DAWN HE SLEEPS.
So they listened and so the sounds reverberated through every nook and cranny of the ancient castle. Lightning struck. Wolves howled. Candelabras ignited. Buxom barmaids loosened their tops. Our resident organ player played a note so sinister it would have brought Beethoven to his knees. The colony of rats made their way to the countesses’ room and devoured them to dust. As for the gory, ghastly and ghoulish one known as Count T, he arose from his coffin with a smile. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
A big thanks to @razorsinthenight__ for killing it with this year’s artwork!
Maximum respect to everyone who visits this site, reads the articles and listens!
CAN’T YOU SEE THE WITCH?
Posted on October 21, 2025 Leave a Comment
Have a look at these wickedly cool, ACTUAL high school yearbooks from Salem High.
The town of Salem has embraced their witchy historical roots in different ways for as long as I can remember, from the endless amount of witch-themed gift shops, to the museums, tours, restaurants and even local government structures. (The city’s police department has a witch on their badge).
Everything from magic parlors and haunted hot dogs — to a Satanic temple and a torture museum, it’s the best place to visit if you’re a fan of spooky fun. Uncle T has traveled to Salem more times that I can swing my scythe at but with each visit I discover something new.
Finding these old yearbooks got TNUC reminiscing about 2023’s Halloween mixtape – THE WITCHING HOUR. It’s one that we’re particularly proud of.
If you haven’t listened in a while, I urge you to revisit during your next car ride journey into the mist (while you anxiously await the 2025 Halloween mix!)
uncletnuc.com 