Why is everyone so fascinated by this abandoned amusement park and it’s creepozoid like inhabitants? Will people ever learn their lesson when they see the giant sign that reads: NO EXIT. NO ONE LEAVES CASTLE TNUC ALIVE?!?
Embedded inside the foam-core brick walls of Castle TNUC is a soundtrack. Buried in these unknown whereabouts is a 40 minute loop of music that no one’s been able to shut off since they opened the place. Each evening when the clock strikes the midnight hour, the constant rotation of music gets louder, drawing in hoards of mischievous teens and amateur ghouls to line up out front. Hypnotized by the pulsating rhythms, they dance the night away while ‘Count Manimal’ shakes his long locks of blonde hair in the foggy breeze and beckons them inside, one by one.
Local old folks cover their earlobes and shake their fists in the air with disgust. The local PTA show up on Friday nights (our HOTTEST night of the week) with pitchforks and torches, throwing tomatoes and heads of cabbage at our big ceramic Manimal head.
† Will they ever find the sacred location of this haunting music?
† Why do the youngsters gravitate to the ghoulish phantom with the ratty blonde hair and single dangly earring?
† Will it ever stop?
It’s sort of like that neverending “It’s a Small World” tune that plays at Disney World, only covered in cobwebs of cotton candy and reeking of carny sleaze. It’s Castle TNUC’s SPOOK-A-RAMA Mixtape, the official soundtrack to our dastardly funhouse!
Huge thanks to Vanessa Vanya for crushing this season’s mixtape artwork. If you love horror and ice cream colors, hire her!
[Serious appreciation to all you disciples who’ve supported and stuck with TNUC over the years. I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay at Castle TNUC this season. But this isn’t a going away present. We’re not done yet…stay tuned.]
† † †
1) THE DICKIES – KILLER KLOWNS
2) W.A.S.P. – SCREAM UNTIL YOU LIKE IT
3) GHOST DANCE – LAST TRAIN
4) HOLOCAUST – HEAVY METAL MANIA
5) GEORGE S. CLINTON – BRAINSCAN MAIN THEME
6) ROB ZOMBIE – I’M YOUR BOOGIEMAN
7) ALICE COOPER – HE’S BACK (DEMO VERSION)
8) KIX – MIDNITE DYNAMITE
9) PRISM – NIGHTMARE
10) JUDAS PRIEST – THE SENTINEL
11) PHILIP GLASS – MUSIC BOX (CANDYMAN)