EATEN ALIVE MIX.
October 31st that year wasn’t your typical Halloween, nor was it a typical night shift at the cemetery for Caretaker TNUC.
The weather was unseasonably cold that evening, so cold that wearing his giant Jud Crandall parka and taking swigs of MD 20/20 wasn’t warming him up as usual. He popped a Quaalude, sat down against an unmarked grave and began to read a paperback novel titled “The Manse”.
It began to rain just before midnight and suddenly his skin began to sizzle. “Acid rain?” He looked up at the night sky and watched a putrid-green colored mist drift through the air, mixing with the heavy rainfall. He took cover under an ancient tomb that he was familiar with because it’s the same tomb that teenagers liked to break inside and draw pentagrams and “Cindy ♥’s Burt” on the walls. “Damn kids”, he muttered while remembering.
While this acid rain penetrated the grounds of his cemetery, there were strange noises all around him. It began with stone and granite sliding. Then a few thumps, creaky sounds and some heavy breathing. He shut off his kerosene lantern and sat there quivering — frozen in terror. In his wildest fears he imagined lids of the coffins moving and gravestones tipping over. While he was proud to be the caretaker in a spooky-ass cemetery, this was where he drew the line.
He carefully shined his light upwards and saw a group of cloaked flesh-eaters slowly shuffling, gurgling and moaning as they made their way towards him. They were drenched in wet soil and were ugly as sin. Beyond being potential flesh-eaters that were waken from their burials to eat the living, Uncle T’s scariest thought was how hideous and ugly these disgusting freaks looked!
They also appeared to be SLOW moving zombies. Anyone who’s seen their share of zombie movies knows about slow-zombies and just how easy it seems to get away from them, defend yourself and take them down with something probably as light as a wiffleball bat. Caretaker TNUC foolishly was unfazed by these unholy savages — his arrogance was getting the best of him.
While the hungry dead walked around in search for flesh, TNUC fired up his boombox and celebrated. He skipped around, poking the zombies with his cane while dancing on top of tombs like he was “Trash” from Return of the Living Dead. As he made his way towards the mausoleum to make some microwave popcorn, a head popped out of the ground and dragged him to the ground.
A loud and juicy “CHOMP” was followed by screams as the Caretaker would take his final breaths. The “slow” and “too ugly to take seriously” flesh-eaters started biting and EATING HIM ALIVE!
Now please enjoy TNUC’s 17th Halloween Mix – EATEN ALIVE
Consider this mix a warning!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
1) Patsy Cline – Walkin’ After Midnight
2) Prizms – Zombi 2 (Fabio Frizzi cover)
3) Diana Ross – Eaten Aive
4) Black Sabbath – Children of the Grave
5) Francis Haines – Trioxin Theme
6) Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl
7) Goblin – L’alba Dei Morti Viventi (Dawn of the Dead)
8) Misfits – London Dungeon
9) Phoebus – Frankenstein
10) Cassandra Castle – Passionate Crime
11) Gifthorse – Alive or Dead
12) Steve Moore – The Jefferson Institute
13) Lords of the New Church – Method to My Madness
14) The Cryptkeeper – Halloween 1-900 Commercial
15) Al Festa – Living After Death
16) The Cramps – Surfin’ Dead
17 Deadsy – From Beyond
18) SSQ – Tonight (We’ll Make Love Until We Die)
19) John Harrison – The Dead Walk
20) Dead or Alive – Something In My House
21) Walter Rizzati – House By The Cemetery theme