TNUC MIX Category

EATEN ALIVE MIX.

October 31st that year wasn’t your typical Halloween, nor was it a typical night shift at the cemetery for Caretaker TNUC. The weather was unseasonably cold that evening, so cold that wearing his giant Jud Crandall parka and taking swigs of MD 20/20 wasn’t warming him up as usual. He popped a Quaalude, sat down […]

Read More

PATRICK BATEMAN’S HOLIDAY SPECIAL (HAPPY NEW YEAR!)

This is just a courtesy reminder that TNUC’s “Patrick Bateman’s Holiday Special” from 2023 is also a NEW YEAR’S mix! If you need music to reign in the new year that isn’t the same old material, look no further. “Between these moments and the cocaine-fueled nightclub scenes, it always made me wonder what a fully […]

Read More

MYSTERY MEAT MIX 4: FOWL PLAY.

After last year’s “incident” that we’re not allowed to talk about, especially around the elderly family members who get really bent out of shape when it’s mentioned, Uncle T was banished from all family gatherings. I can’t get into specifics on exactly what happened but let’s just say the joyful family gettogether around the dinner […]

Read More

AT DAWN HE SLEEPS.

Grave news for people who thought Count T had vanished for all of eternity since lesbian vampires turned him into a castle rat after placing a curse on him over a decade ago. I know that opening sentence is a lot to sink your fangs into, so here’s some clarification: Back in 2013, fresh on […]

Read More

CAMP TNUC PART IV: SUMMER CRUSH.

They say you never forget your first love, but that’s a load of bologna because what you really never forget is that first summer crush at Camp TNUC. For proof, here’s an authentic letter from a satisfied camper in love: So there you have it folks. Summer crushes can transform your entire experience at Boner […]

Read More

NIGHT BEAST 6:66.

The pentagram on his left paw told him everything. It had been nothing but a faint scar until just recently when it began to itch and burn during the night. He dismissed the sensation at first, figuring it was just a reaction from a bad sexual episode with a few bottom-of-the-barrel, local prostitutes he shamefully […]

Read More