JULY’S DEADBEAT OF THE MONTH: FAKE RAMBO.
The war was never over for United States Special Forces soldier John J. Rambo. Whether being tortured in Vietnamese prison camps or hunted down in his own country for crimes he didn’t commit, Rambo was always engaged in combat. For impersonator/lookalike Wayne Scott, life has a different set of concerns. The only battle he’s fighting is a homoerotic battle on the dance floor! Say hello to July’s Deadbeat-Of-The-Month, Fake Rambo.
[NOTE: DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH is an ongoing saga giving thanks and praise to a chosen deadbeat character each month. To see the rest of em’, go here]
Required viewing before proceeding (audio is poor so turn it way up):
In the video, Wayne Scott presents himself as a nice enough guy. Almost too nice. He also claims to have known both Frank and Sly Stallone. I don’t believe any of it. This guy is dripping with sleaze. In a world full of imposters, impersonators, phonies and gimmicky people trying to earn a buck off someone else’s career, Fake Rambo takes it to a completely different level because of one thing…ITALO DISCO.
It all started when he looked in the mirror one day and saw his future staring back at him. The droopy face, puffy hair and tanned skin genetic talent he came into this world with was too good to pass up a hot gig like being a shitty, disco rendition of a cinematic American war hero. Wayne Scott holds true to the old statement that “the saddest thing in life is wasted talent”. So in the midst of (real) Rambo’s franchise success he runs into an out-of-work, Italian disco troll in a damp alley and hires him to produce his single and direct the performance video for “Rambo (This Time We’re Gonna Win)”. Here’s what happened…
The result is a poorly-choreographed video featuring Fake Rambo dancing, lip-syncing and thrusting his fully-automatic weaponry to a room filled with…no one. Well, only a frantic Chinese delivery guy posed as a Viet Cong enemy that Fake Rambo met outside in the parking lot. I’ll admit it, I love this fucking guy. His current whereabouts are unknown but I expect with Stallone’s recent comeback that we’ll see our chosen deadbeat making a big return this year with disco hits for Cobra, Over the Top and Nighthawks.
Holy shit, I have never heard of this sleazebag until now. He’s amazing and bad all in one package. He definitely looks similar to Sly, but only one thing stands in his way, he’s a disease and Cobra’s the cure.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…
Holy shit, he looks like my uncle Frank!
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This guy is my sperm donor. Cheated on his wife with my mom. Lied and gave her a different name. Ran into him 1 day after 24 yrs and asked him if he knew about me. Told me he did, gave him my phone number but the DEADBEAT never called me. Thanks Rambo!
I really wanna know where this guy is right now. I’ll be honest, I like the song. Cheesy and catchy.
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