I MIGHT LIVE NEXT-DOOR TO R.L. STINE.
Posted on May 17, 2023 2 Comments
So I may or may not live on the same street as famed horror writer R.L. Stine, or at least that’s where my imagination goes every time I pass this gated home with decaying cartoon characters that roam the property. It feels straight out of a paperback that I would have picked up in elementary school at the Scholastic Book Fair, where rotting yard statues come to life when the clock strikes midnight to peek through your bedroom windows.
Amidst the rolling hills, large pine trees, long driveway and wrought iron gates of this beautiful home are dozens of animated TV show/movie character statues made of resin and wood.
When they first appeared in the early 1990’s, the statues were a vibrant, welcome addition to the neighborhood. Parents would walk their kids up to the yard and peek through the gates in awe at the entertaining display. It became a known attraction in this little town. I know because I grew up not far from the house.
“BE OUR GUEST”
Over the decades the statues have succumbed to the elements and this is what exists today. They haven’t been tended to or restored, rather left to die in the weeds! The rot and withering has made the property into somewhat of a fascinating display of decay.
Some characters are worse-off than others. Some are so decrepit that it adds a layer of eeriness and becomes unintentionally spooky.
Information about the property is a bit scarce but I’m hoping to personally solve all mysteries very soon. Allegedly the owner had the statues constructed for his wife 30+ years ago.
Last but not least, at the end of the 3 acre estate sits a little red cabin, smothered in vines with a sign hanging on the outside that says “welcome cabin”…
I fully expected R.L. Stine or one of those grumpy writers who holes themselves up in their house for a year and doesn’t talk to anyone to come stumbling down the driveway shaking their cane at me.
10 TO MIDNIGHT.
Posted on April 6, 2023 2 Comments
I’ve been really getting into Charles Bronson movies lately and it’s all thanks to Pops TNUC a.k.a. the artist formerly known as my dad.
Pops T absolutely WORSHIPS Charles Bronson, and many weekends you’ll find him watching the same Bronson movies over and over. His all time favorite is Hard Times but I think he enjoys just about any time Chucky B graces the silver screen. From classic American westerns like Once Upon A Time In The West to a 1983 sleaze-fest like 10 to Midnight, the man celebrates his entire catalogue.
If you haven’t seen this action-thriller juggernaut released by CANNON FILMS, please stop whatever it is that you’re doing and see it (pronto!). 10 to Midnight is the story of a psychopathic killer who stalks and murders women in the city and does so while being fully naked. Yes, without spoiling the fun, the killer commits his murders in the nude as to not leave any evidence at the crime scenes.
The salty-as-hell, tough-as-nails, slightly-burnt-out-but-smart-as-a-whip detective Leo Kessler is played perfectly by the stone-faced Bronson, who is hunting the killer with a little help from his rookie partner.
Beautiful girls, amazing one-liners from Bronson, sleazy shots of Los Angeles and a ripping soundtrack make 10 to Midnight a pure gem of the genre. Speaking of the genre, it always feels that for some reason thrillers like this don’t get the attention or nostalgic groundswell that other movies from the decade receive. In some cases, people seem to be falling over themselves digging up trashy 1980s horror (and not the fun kind) but there are a number of Charles Bronson movies I can rattle off right now that you never hear referenced.
Bronson is a treasure. Somewhat of an underrated action guru even though he’s been in a few of the biggest films of all time. What he “lacks” in karate-chopping, flipping and fancy-dancey bullshit he makes up for with his gun, his hair and that FACE of pure destruction.
Now onto the soundtrack. Composed by musician Robert O. Ragland, this hard-driving score features pulsating synths and guitar licks throughout. The clear highlight is “Look At Me”, the only track to include vocals as well as lyrics that reflect the killer’s narcissistic qualities. It’s a ripper of a song and would also fit nicely playing inside the Babylon Club in Scarface.
Look At Me (Vocals by Bruce Scott) download
Look At Me (instrumental) download
Buy ’10 TO MIDNIGHT’ Soundtrack Here
NUOVO TESTAMENTO.
Posted on March 7, 2023 1 Comment
I can’t recall the last time I heard a new band that literally within the first 15 seconds of listening, they had me. That sort of immediate satisfaction is rare but it’s happened with the group Nuovo Testamento and their new album released on March 3rd, Lovelines.
Currently based in Los Angeles but featuring members hailing from the old country (Italy), the authenticity in their Italo Disco sound is remarkably apparent. It’s Italo Disco and 90s freestyle meets Depeche Mode with the sexiest vocals probably since E. G. Daily graced the soundtrack to 1987’s Summer School. Dive in.
All it took was that pulsating opening to ‘Heat’ and TNUC was already a disciple. The group are tapping into a sound that synth-pop desperately needed at the moment. It feels fresh and energized, with an attitude that echoes through the steamy streets of the city.
The following track and music video for ‘Heartbeats’ captures that energy so perfectly. Darkness of the city, golden hour skylines, trench coats and neon marquees. Singer Chelsea Crowley’s vocals also remind me a bit of German-pop icon Sandra, but completely unique and bewitching in her own right.
Uncle T can’t continue without at least once movie reference. So if I had to fantasize about a movie scene with this song, it would be Kim Richard’s bedroom in 1985’s Tuff Turf. She’s got the rock and pop posters adorning her walls, a fashion style that equally matches her attitude and most importantly, a bedroom window perfect for dudes climbing in or stumbling out.
The remainder of this album is just as great and never slows down. At a track length of just 8 songs, there is absolutely no time for interlude nonsense or filler on Lovelines. I can’t explain how refreshing this album is to hear amongst a sea of synth-pop material that for the most part is a bit forgotten about after a couple listens. It takes a new level of songwriting and authenticity to reach a plateau of greatness that stands above the rest and I can feel the power with Nuovo Testamento.
ROCKUTZ.
Posted on March 3, 2023 3 Comments
Everybody brace yourselves because for probably the first time in your life, you’re about to have a song about a hair salon stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. Thanks to my compadre Johann Hawk for providing this incredible artifact.
That’s right disciples, this heavy metal hair salon called Rockutz was the place to go for all your teased, poodle puff, aqua net-embracing, larger than life ROCK CUTS. Whether you were getting prepped for glamour shots for those upcoming glossy photo 8×10 band promos or just going out on Friday night to see Kix, the best place to get teased ‘n pleased was Rockutz.
Rockutz is a bit of an unsolved mystery in terms of their not being a whole lot of historical information on the internet, but I did find that a hairdresser named Michael Dean is the genius behind the establishment. Everyone called him “Mickey” and he was not only a hairstylist but a musician as well.
I’m not entirely sure how long Rockutz was in operation, but Mickey’s hair salon still remains in the same location in Lynwood, Washington and is simply now called Michael Dean Salon.
Legend states that “Rockutz” the song playing in the video was Mickey himself laying down some shrieking vocals! If anyone has contact information for Mickey or his family/friends, please reach out to Uncle TNUC as we’d love to conduct an in-depth interview.
Now go revisit the video and pump your fists with the song because there’s no way in hell it won’t be ringing in your ears all weekend. “Rockutz…look like a staaaarrrrrrr!!!!”
METAL MEATBALLS.
Posted on February 23, 2023 1 Comment
Mmm…did you get a whiff of that? Those delicious aromas of mozzarella, parmesan, prosciutto and a fresh loaf of Italian bread. Nana’s baked ziti just coming out of the oven. A steamy bowl of meatballs smothered in thick tomato sauce. Finally, a group of fluffy haired, Italian heavy metal warriors all dressed in black. It could only mean one thing…
The METAL MEATBALLS are here.
Think about it for a moment and you’ll know who I’m talking about. Everyone’s seen these guys or might even personally know a few. TNUC’s new Instagram account “@METAL_MEATBALLS” is a dedication to the fluff heads, greasy dudes and poodle headed alphas that you see on the back of album covers. The mustached brutes that could also easily be on a cigarette break behind the kitchen at your local deli. The guy that stares uncomfortably at your sister every time you’re in line to buy a calzone.
We started the @Metal_Meatballs page to shine a light on these warriors because I don’t think they get the recognition that’s deserved. My personal favorite type of Meatball is the “every man”. The bassist from a power metal band who could very well be your trash man hanging on the back of the garbage truck or the guy installing your new roof.
Metal Meatballs come from all corners of the earth. Some are well known (Ronnie James Dio, Kane Roberts, Vito Bratta) while others bubble up from underground (Joey ‘Thunder’ Cussamano, Enzo Mascolo, Frankie Force). ALL ARE WELCOME TO THE MEATBALL FAMIGLIA. Buon Appetito!
The account will be more than just posting photos and video. The intention is to get inside the minds of these mighty men and women. See what makes them tick, where do they go for a perm and what’s the ultimate Sunday dinner at Ma’s house.
Please support these proud warriors by following @Metal_Meatballs on Instagram.
LITTLE RICHARD THE RATT.
Posted on January 23, 2023 Leave a Comment
If you thought for a second that boogie-woogie icon Little Richard showing up in an episode of Full House in 1994 was the almighty “stars aligning” highlight of the decade, think again you idiot.
Because four years prior, we clearly missed the monumental moment of Little Richard hanging out with the dudes from RATT backstage during a video shoot. Please watch below.
How quickly we forget that Little Richard made himself a bit of an advocate for rock bands back in the day. Not only was he Ratt ‘n Rolling with Stephen, Robbin, Bobby, Juan and Warren but during that same year, he appeared in Cinderella’s video for ‘Shelter Me’ and who could forget him rocking out with Jesse and The Rippers on stage at The Smash Club in the Season 7 episode “Too Little Richard Too Late”…
I’m lacking a true historian’s knowledge on Little Richard, but I remember as a kid definitely going back and forth between thinking “he’s cool” and “what a loveable dude” to wow, he’s downright terrifying. LR comes across as the coolest man alive but at the same time the makeup, hair and deranged facial gestures sketched me out a bit.
REST IN POWER, LR! Party-on with Robbin Crosby in heaven.
uncletnuc.com 