SWAYZE Category

FEBRUARY’S LOCAL HOT SPOT OF THE MONTH: THE DOUBLE DEUCE.

IT HAD TO BE DONE. The original honky-tonk slaughterhouse! The place they sweep up the eyeballs after closing! The only establishment where you can get laid, smash bottles over stranger’s heads, walk around shirtless and get into a fight all under a single roof! Ladies and gentlemen, for February’s Local-Hot-Spot-Of-The-Month, please climb in the back […]

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MACHO LUNCH.

Brute strength. Immense power. Blockbuster explosiveness. Hot lunch. Just the other day this take-out pizza menu landed on my doorstep, featuring some of TNUC’s favorite action gurus sitting on top of an I-beam munching on burgers, fries, pizza and calzones. I could sit here with a straight face and attempt to tell you that it […]

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JANUARY’S DEADBEAT OF THE MONTH: STEVE THE BOUNCER.

[NOTE: DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH is an ongoing saga giving thanks and praise to a chosen deadbeat character each month. To see the rest of em’, go here] Trying to choose a favorite deadbeat from Road House is like trying to choose a favorite hair pie from all the sorority girls at Pi Delta Pi. It’s a dirty and daunting job, but someone’s gotta’ do it. For January’s chosen […]

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BEER BELL.

What your witnessing here today is no dream. It’s absolutely real and it’s definitely happening. A beer glass…a dumbbell…a BEER BELL. Here we have, sent down from the heavens, a weightlifting/alcohol-consuming device that is simply the key to all greatness. A beer glass firmly sealed to the top of a 1 1/4 lbs dumbbell, crucial […]

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THE ROAD HOUSE MOTHERLOAD.

From deep inside the sacred caverns of the TNUC vault comes this Road House time capsule that we like to refer to as “the motherload”. That’s right, it derives from an actual time capsule that was buried in the debris of the almost, could-have-been Double Deuce nightclub that Uncle TNUC attempted to open in the […]

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