CAMP TNUC PART III: SUMMER SCHOOL INVASION.

What do they call a guy who cuts classes, hates homework, and lives for summer vacations? UNCLE TNUC.

For the first time ever, these past months leading up to our annual summer fun at the #1 boner camp in the entire eastern seaboard weren’t feeling too promising. Corporate suits from an evil real estate company had seized the camp property over the winter season, threatening to turn Camp TNUC into condominiums. These fat cats with bad toupees were about to destroy our legacy.

Say goodbye to panty raids, peep holes in the girl’s showers, food fights in the mess hall, white water long butt rafting, lighting groundskeeper ‘Sludge’ on fire and our annual ‘BEER MOUNTAIN’ festival. This place would soon be home to rich geezers and saggy mammaries.

We tried everything in our power to stop them. Holding a bikini car wash at the local Hooter’s, a hot dog eating contest to raise funds, Uncle T chaining himself to the front of his ’91 Firebird while parked in front of the lawyer’s offices and even our counselors held an egg catapulting contest when the CEO’s limousine pulled into town.

After several unsuccessful attempts, his last resort was a reenactment of the turtle parachute attack scene from Ernest Goes to Camp.

Camp TNUC was doomed, and not in a good way like being cursed and having a masked psychopath living in the woods nearby. We were doomed to exist.

Finally, he arrived at a proposal after sweet-talking the real estate CEO’s snotty but starved for attention and unsatisfied wife. With an agreement from the local school committee, the suits proposed that if he would agree to teach summer school to a pack of delinquents at the town’s high school, they would allow the camp to maintain a portion of the property and operate for another 5 years!

Uncle T didn’t have much of a choice. He arrived for class and discovered the kids were professional party animals. The “classroom” turned into the ultimate summer-school gone summer-camp boot camp.

Each day would start with taking roll call, then our bus driver “One-Armed Willie” would pick everyone up and ship us right to camp. The summer school misfits and our campers were a match made in heaven. When the day was over, we’d commute back to the high school and take our seats, just before that bite-in-the-ass Principal Gills would arrive to check on the class.

NOW, to fully orchestrate the energy of this year’s strange yet satisfying summer, we’ve provided the ultimate soundtrack!

Camp TNUC Part III: Summer School Invasion!

A huge thanks to top counselors Chad Allegro (wet t-shirt judge) and Dan Gray (artist) who without their help this 3rd mixtape in our series wouldn’t be possible!

Summer Camp Mix [Part I]
Return to Summer Camp [Part II]

Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity)