THE SHARK LOUNGE.

When levels of raunchiness reach a point where a law enforcement sting operation is being planned in attempts to shut down your establishment, it’s more than likely a sign that things aren’t good. This, my disciples, was the heart-wrenching demise of The Shark Lounge.

If someone wanted to assassinate Uncle TNUC in 1991, it would have been wayyy too easy. That’s because my ass was pretty much firmly planted on a janky, Hep C-ridden bar stool at Daytona Beach, Florida’s The Shark Lounge.

It was earlier that year when I received a call from Vince Neil inviting me down to spring break in Daytona Beach. Vince was out of Motley Crue at the time (as it’s been well documented over the years, he spent this entire phase of his life drinking, jet-skiing, yachting, fishing and being a 100% beach bum). I hung up the phone, booked a flight and was touching down in Florida that very night. The first place we wandered into was a stinky, hole in the wall club called The Shark Lounge. My assumptions of this place being nothing more than a tourist trap were quickly put down as I stepped inside and witnessed a freakish spectacle that will be forever burned into my brain.

There were pregnant strippers, granny strippers, mud wrestlers, hookers, wild animals, a house band surrounded by chicken wire and even a one-legged stripper with a wooden leg (peg leg!). Of course this was also during the primetime long-butt era in society, so every female in the room was fully equipped with a high-cut thong and/or bikini…generating a long-butt. This pleased me very much, and so did the monster truck parked in the front parking lot. But things would enter even weirder territory…

The wildest feature of this seedy paradise was definitely the STRIPPER STAGE SITTING ON TOP OF A SHARK TANK. In the middle of the room sat a fairly large aquarium with a shark swimming around inside that the dancers “performed” on. The poor creature swam around with nothing to look at all day but a tiny reef and a bunch of old clams! This is NOT a mythical TNUC tale. It’s absolutely real and I encourage all of you to do some research on this deadbeat establishment.

Several years later a 16-month investigation by Daytona Beach’s vice squad resulted in a raid of The Shark Lounge where police made over 20 arrests for prostitution, cocaine trafficking and God knows what else. They called the sting “operation chum bucket” and one officer was quoted saying “it hasn’t been cleaned in over 1,000 years”…”it’s skanky, it’s filthy…if I was a roach, I wouldn’t live inside”.

Uncle T just wonders if that shark is still alive and and is up for adoption. I’d be thrilled to bring him or her home to Castle TNUC to stay up all night and listen to old tales from their dastardly days at The Shark Lounge!