BATTLE OF THE KELLYS

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IT’S THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN.
  • LACE vs LEATHER
  • BAYSIDE’S FOXIEST vs CHICAGO’S DELICIOUS DING-DONG
  • ZACK MORRIS’ LIFE OBSESSION vs AL BUNDY’S LIGHT OF HIS LIFE

…I’ve gotta go with my girl Kelly Bundy, the product of Al Bundy’s omnipotent semen. But that’s not the only reason I’m choosing this hell-bent-for-leather bombshell. Yes, she’s a bit of a bird-brain, but something about her tells me she’s a savage in the sack!

TNUC THEME pt. I

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1984’s Body Double is a flick that centers around the porn industry here in Southern California. This stylish thriller brings vivid imagery combined with a mind-melting score courtesy of Italian mastermind, Pino Donaggio. Just listening to this title theme alone, the layers of suspense and erotica are ever so present. It’s a rich and beautifully crafted piece of the score that goes hand in hand with the film. Listening to music like this, Tangerine Dream, and even more recent artists such as Steve Moore and College, the music is so vibrant in itself, that sometimes its like being thrust into a hypnotic state where you find yourself paying more attention to the music than the film. This installment, donned “TNUC THEME pt. I” marks the first of a number of themes that we’ll be featuring here.
Press play, take a gander around, and let this little number sink in. 


Pino Donnagio – Telescope [TNUC Theme pt. I]


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MORE-ODER.

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Today we’re posting some TREMENDOUSLY rare Giorgio Moroder. This legend/wizard/pioneer needs no introduction. Everyone knows how flawless his work was on 1983’s Scarface soundtrack. This first piece is the rarest of them all. It’s Giorgio’s collaboration with Paul Engemann for “Push it to the Limit”, only an extended version that was released as a promo on 12″. What’s different about this version is the intro/outro. The added, synth-y beginning that welcomes the signature, vicious guitar licks will grab you like a fierce narcotic from Colombia. Play this one LOUD.

Giorgio Moroder – Push it to the Limit (12″ Promo Mix)

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But that’s not all. Here are three selections that were extras/b-sides from the Scarface soundtrack. Unreleased officially, these three cuts are as good as any song off the original record. If you can relate to anything about these two in the picture above, your absolutely going to love these tracks. Enjoy.

Giorgio Moroder – Success


Giorgio Moroder – Shoot and Drive Away



Giorgio Moroder – Disco 79


Thanks to Antonio Montana, Manny Ribera, Frank Lopez & Lopez Motors, Omar Suarez, Sosa, Chi Chi, Ernie, Nick the Pig, Hector, Rebenga, Gaspar Gomez, The Dias Brothers and The Babylon Club for their support.

WE. BUILD. EXCITEMENT.

The fine people at the Pontiac Corporation went through their VHS archives for me and dug up some true treasures. Believe it or not, this first piece actually stars yours truly. What you see in this video is entirely true, no acting whatsoever. Apparently back in 1986, Pontiac was scheduled to shoot a commercial. Well it just so happens that night I was out combing the night streets in my black Trans Am. I decided that before I headed into the Valley to pick up this vicious babe I’d been seeing, I’d take a cruise into the night air, because driving my Trans Am through the steam & mist of the back alleys just looked so ruthless. I guess the Pontiac people just happened to be nearby and started filming. I was pretty confused at the time, but ignored them, picked up the broad, and well, “when in Rome”….

The “commercial” was huge for Pontiac, little did people know that it was just a standard Friday night for Uncle TNUC.

#1


Here’s a few bonus favorites that the Pontiac people sent me on Laser Disc.. 


#2


RIDE, PONTIAC RIDE!!! Why this song didn’t go #1 on the radio or MTV is BEYOND me.


#3


Chevrolet snuck in here somehow. This is a deep one. Apparently this sports car can deflect all those dangerous, shooting, pink lasers that everyone had trouble with in 1984. Plus, you can finally take those dark rides through misty canyons you’ve been wanting to take your family all this time! C’mon kids! The music behind the voice-over is so good. I wish the voice-over wasn’t there, I would listen to that track over and over.


#4


…This is every one’s favorite.  “CONQUER THE WIND”…

WELCOME.

There’s no classier way to kick off the TNUC blog than an early ‘Uncle Jesse’ being thrust into a vortex of seduction from dame Vanity. The explosive chemistry found in this steamy scene also serves as an ideal representation of what’s to come around here..

A sweet tune.
A killer pair of white slacks.
A hot broad.
SAXOPHONE.

This is 4 minutes and 25 seconds of pure, uncut, unapologetic TNUC. It’s difficult to say what part I love the most. The Perrier water, the apple, the second apple, clothes coming off/saxophone-entering scene simultaneously…it’s all just too good.

TNUC was actually the #1 blog in 1985, but sadly excess got the best of TNUC, and the hard-living, fast cars/fast women lifestyle soon turned to overdoses, rehab, divorce hearings, car crashes, and quaaludes which put TNUC on hold throughout the 90’s. But we’re BACK, and we’re going for the throat!

BIG thanks to AKUTOU for hooking it up with this insane artwork. He captured the essence like no other could. Also to Phil and New Beverly Midnights for introducing me to Never Too Young to Die, the flick that features the aforementioned clip. I strongly recommend this 1986 gem, not only to bask in the glow that is John Stamos & Vanity, but more importantly witness the villain of this movie, a psychotic-hermaphrodite played by Gene Simmons of KISS. WHAT?? Yes…Now go pick it up.

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