BODACIOUS HORROR BEDROOMS.

At the beginning of every autumn season since 1985, Uncle T says farewell to sunny California and flies to TNUC estates, located in the remote corner of the world known as Castle Rock, Maine. Similar to how you can count on just about every day in California being sunny with clear skies, during this time of year the air in Castle Rock is brisk, damp and eerily dark. It’s this type of climate that creates the ideal atmosphere for an ultimate, autumn-paradise getaway. Castle Rock also experiences a consistent mist flowing through the streets that locals say represents the trapped souls of dead prostitutes that used to cater to local fishermen back during the late 70’s. I’ll say this, it’s extremely similar to the fog roaming around the fictional town of Dunwich, seen in the Lucio Fulci classic ‘City of the Living Dead’.

The main wing of TNUC estates is a cliffside mansion, one that sits on the very tip of Castle Rock, overlooking the cold Atlantic. On any given night the silhouette of Uncle T can be seen in the highest attic window, rocking back and forth with the gleam of his single-dangly-cross-earring twinkling from the reflection of the moon. It’s here that he waits and listens to the rustling of leaves, the rumbling of a nearby ancient Indian burial ground, howling wind, waves crashing, and the sweet harmony of bloodcurdling teenage screams. He doesn’t partake in the outside carnage, but welcomes local psychopaths with open arms on to his property and encourages them to bring victims.

Over the years he’s collected a cluster of horror-movie items that are scattered throughout the home. This particular year he’s had a ravenous appetite for turning the master bedroom into a full-fledged horror spectacle. Something that will rival if not surpass the bedrooms seen in our favorite horror movies. This week TNUC counts down the top (3) bodacious horror bedrooms for inspiration:

#3 Terry from The Gate

1987’s The Gate introduced us to Terry, the young suburban headbanger and best friend of Glen. Terry has a lot going for him…he’s a red-head, wears glasses AND is fully immersed in metal & horror a.k.a. the perfect outcast. The kid even wears a Killer Dwarves patch on the back of his denim vest. By the looks of his bedroom it’s clear that at the core of Terry is molten metal, but we know he’s just as big of a horror fan, because heavy metal and horror go together like Pizza Hut and TMNT. When Terry’s not slam-dancing on his bed to Satanic metal, he’s launching rockets in the backyard and running from pint-sized demons with best bud Glen. To fully appreciate and understand this four-eyed metal warrior, you need to watch his solo performance, which features a monologue he does while wrapped up in a rainbow colored bed sheet. Go here to watch it when you’re done reading this post.

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#2 Tommy Jarvis from Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter

Played by a young Corey Feldman, Tommy Jarvis in Part 4 had a horror-spread in his bedroom that every monster kid would have drooled over. I read somewhere that special effects master Tom Savini was an inspiration for some of the development of this character. That makes sense when you watch scenes of Tommy showing new friend Rob his assortment of high-quality rubbery masks and his vampire/tremor hand puppet thing.

When Tommy’s not hanging out in his horror bedroom, he’s on boob-patrol for the new neighbors across the street, either catching a glimpse out his window or watching skinny-dipping babes by the lake. Plus he gets to live in a cabin in the woods and be terrorized by infamous Crystal Lake maniac Jason. This kid has it MADE.

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#1 Chainsaw from Summer School

Interestingly our top pick in this category doesn’t pull from a horror movie but rightfully so, Chainsaw should have his own horror movie when you stop and think about it…but that’s an entirely different topic we’ll discuss some other time. Let’s begin the panoramic tour.

Masks lined wall-to-wall, gore props, posters, severed body props, zombie dummy heads, an eyeball stress ball, the legendary hand alarm clock, heavy metal pictures and so much more! Certain rooms in a house are good when they’re kept neat, organized and structured…but a horror bedroom ideally should look like what Chainsaw has done with it. He’s a non-minimalist and proud of it. There’s something so satisfying and personal about having a collection of top-quality, rubbery, pre-CGI horror items right in your bedroom. The place where you sleep at night!

Chainsaw and his gorehound wingman Dave are horror-obsessed to the point that they’re actually extremely talented in the art of splatter effects as seen in several classic gags in Summer School. They may have been flunking in math and social studies, but the teachers and administrators at Ocean Front High clearly had no clue as to what kind of geniuses they had dosing off in the back of their classrooms.

Honorable Mentions:
Billy in Creepshow
Eddie in Trick or Treat
Charles in No Small Affair
Michael in Brainscan