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SPIROS APPRECIATION WEEKEND.

Posted on November 22, 2013 2 Comments

In several locations over vast continents and oceans, a steady amount of rain is predicted for the upcoming weekend. I for one can’t think of anything I’d rather do on a rainy afternoon or evening than listen to the timeless trilogy of mixes from our main phantom of the night, SPIROS.

It pains me to even refer to these as “mixes” because they’re so much more than that. They’re more like “sacred gifts”. Some people are hell-bent on placing them in a genre like Way-Slo or Tropical Goth, but we know SPIROS mixes fit in no category because they are at the purest form, a feeling. Though we haven’t heard from or have known the whereabouts of this man for quite a while, these musical journeys of “passion and intrigue” have never ceased to inspire, delight and cut right to our core, over and over again. They’ve proved to be just as ageless and awe-inspiring as the view from his balcony overlooking the Mediterranean.

This rainy weekend I urge all of you to find a comfortable setting and sink deep into these musical offerings from TNUC’s vault of viciousness. If you thought the SPIROS mixes were engineered only for balmy nights on a private isle, you’re due for a rediscovery of the haunting magic which will give you a new perspective, while soft rain pelts at your window for that added touch of tender atmosphere. Attached to each of these harmonious meditations is a link to the accompanying letter that I received from him at the time when they were presented to me. For those new to this whole spectacle, you’re about to delve into one of those most important periods in TNUC history…

I. SPIROS presents A MIX SONG FOR YOU
Original release: April 2010
Passage of paramount: “Just relax…I’ll show you a new way to live”
Link: http://www.uncletnuc.com/2010/04/19/spiros-a-mix-song-for-you/

II. SPIROS presents THE MAGIC OF SPIROS
Original release: August 2010
Passage of paramount: “Don’t resist the tower of temptation”
Link: https://uncletnuc.com/2010/08/31/spiros-2-the-magic-of-spiros.html

III. SPIROS presents THE FINAL ECLIPSE
Original release: June 2011
Passage of paramount: “For your love I will try my hardest, take me up to the golden sun”
Link: http://www.uncletnuc.com/2011/06/14/spiros-3-final-eclipse.html

The question now is what, if anything, is next for SPIROS? Will we ever hear from this mythical, Mediterranean beast again? Discuss and share your experiences with these mixes below, please.

PASTAMANIA.

Posted on November 14, 2013 4 Comments

“Pasta” is probably the last thing I predicted would be relieving me of my post-Halloween pit of blandness. The problem with pummeling out posts left and right throughout a month like October is the inevitable comedown. Much like drinking Jack Daniels and popping ‘ludes all night with Vanity – times may seem like they’re at an all-time-high, but the after effects are going to be slightly sufferable. So of course it couldn’t be any ordinary, everyday pasta that would skyrocket TNUC back to the forefront. Today we tackle the iconic, food court staple of Minnesota’s Mall-of-America that whipped up signature dishes like Hulkaronis, Hulka-roo’s and Hulk-U’s…all from the mind of a certain over-oiled and over-tanned blonde warrior gourmet…

During the mid-90’s Hulk Hogan made two gigantic career leaps. First, he would leave his longtime pro-wrestling family of the WWF to join WCW and second – he would revolutionize Italian culinary culture by opening his very own restaurant Pastamania!, exclusively in the food court of this country’s largest mall. Here’s a short clip of the unforgettable grand opening which aired live on the world premiere of WCW’s Monday Night Nitro:

As the Hulkster proclaims in the video, eating at Pastamania! allegedly kept hungry fans slim & trim (it’s hard to believe, but then again Hulk Hogan would never lie to Hulkamaniacs and Pastamaniacs). Sadly the restaurant’s reign as king of the food court would be short-lived. Pastamania! was shut down less than one year after it being open. Food critics, world renowned top chefs and restaurant entrepreneurs would never find out what secret ingredients Chef Hulk used to create exquisite dishes like the Spaghetti & Hulk-Balls and Hulkuccine.

But wait…could it be….?

Several years after the demise of the restaurant a group of upset and enraged Pastamaniacs resurrected the original marquee and attached it to an abandoned building in downtown Minneapolis. We too refuse to let go of the dream…

(Don’t forget to continue onto Pt. 2 of this feature to see an actual Pastamania! menu)

DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS.

Posted on October 29, 2013 13 Comments

Do the current state of so-called “vampires” make you depressed? Of course I’m referring to the clean-faced, self-aware, neutered, poor excuse for a vampire that pollutes society these days. By neutered I mean it’s like they had their balls severed sometime during the course of their lives, a trend that was completely unheard of in vamp-culture pre-1992. Legends like Bela Lugosi must be rolling in their coffins while they look down at these twerps. David (Lost Boys) would be spitting up his noodle/worm/rice/maggot Chinese take-out combination plate – if he was still immortal enough to see how our culture defines what a bloodsucker is. Not only is TNUC + Big Mike’s DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS mix a 42-minute, Frog Brother-assault on these weaklings, it’s also a celebration of what it means to be a true-blue creature of the night! The chosen video vamps featured on this mix definitely aren’t driving Volvos and shopping at Urban Outfitters. They ride custom choppers and wear whatever post-apocalyptic, ratty, lone warrior garment they can get their claws on. They also don’t listen to Maroon 5 and hang out in the school library. Our bloodlusty demons are more likely to seduce your sister in the hallway and take her to a Ratt concert on the beach. So grab a bottle of blood wine, drag your combination TV/VCR out to the bonfire and and join us for ‘CAMP TNUC IV: DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS.

1) NIGHTWING INTRO
2) DOKKEN – UNCHAIN THE NIGHT
3) VICTIM – VICTIM
4) GRIM REAPER – NIGHT OF THE VAMPIRE
5) GERARD MCMANN – CRY LITTLE SISTER
6) AUTOGRAPH – CAN’T HIDE THE BEAST
7) TIM CAPELLO – I STILL BELIEVE
8) APRIL WINE – ROCK MYSELF TO SLEEP
9) JUDAS PRIEST – LIVING AFTER MIDNIGHT
10) TANGERINE DREAM – MAE’S THEME/RAIN IN THE THIRD HOUSE
11) W.A.S.P. – FOREVER FREE
12) BRAD FIEDEL – WINDOW WATCHING

FROM THE DESK OF GIANNI ROSSI.

Posted on October 24, 2013 4 Comments

Gianni Rossi is an exceptionally difficult man to get in touch with. The famous Italian-Canadian film composer rarely leaves the shores of his private Mediterranean isle and has reportedly only come out of seclusion twice over the past decade, both occasions to commence work on horror scores, one for Gutterballs in 2009 and the other for Star Vehicle in 2011. TNUC had one rare opportunity to work with Rossi on a video edit for his cover of ‘C Beams’ a few years back, but that meeting of the maestros required TNUC to voyage some 6,000 miles to Rossi’s heavily guarded manor. While Rossi and TNUC collaborated under the same roof, they never once saw each other or made eye contact during the entire visit. Clear instruction was given that his privacy was paramount and we had to work in separate wings of his fortress at all times. On my final night I was pampered with massages from his 220 lb housekeeper/bodyguard Floriana and was served plates of Linguine Alle Vongole out on his gazebo. It was a weekend I’d surely never forget and would be my one and only “contact” with Rossi, until I received this letter on my doorstep yesterday…

Dear Sig. Tunc,

I would enjoy to share with you some favorite of selections from horror film musics. Musica which have been to inspire me for soundtracks of myself. I will hope for you to enjoy and hope for you to share with your weblog homepage. This mix is very short because of my computer access for while I would be here at rehab is very un poco.

THIS IS THE LINK FOR SMALL MIX: http://www.mediafire.com/?d8u955i1ve755v1

Ciao,

G.Rossi– –

1) Changes – Paul Zaza & Carl Zittrer (Prom Night)

“Is a fantastic song, no? Z& Z make great song for this movie of stupid children with the funny guy and is not even funny presently. And with daughter of great star Tony Curtis who maybe was not great father to let una figlia to be part of nonsense present.”

2) Whole World is Celebratin’ – Chris Farren (Night of the Comet)

“A triumph of a movie with this man Chris Farren who makes a great song that feels like to partying, even though mostly dies at the party.”

3) Darkest Side of the Night – Metropolis (Jason Takes Manhattan)

“Greatest song of the 1980’s, was made by a favorite band of mine. I met Fred Mollin once, I think. I am not able to have remembered, it might have been different Fred.”

4) I Still Believe – Tim Cappello (Lost Boys)

“What a man! Fantastic song from movie for children of who are of being depressed. Sig. Cappello, magnificent voice and saxophones. Also performed keyboard for Tina Turner. I was hired to tour for keyboard tech once with Tina Turner banda but I do not have memory of tour. I think maybe would have been in rehab at that present.”

5) You’re Just What I’ve Been Looking For (Angela’s Theme) – Frank Vinci (Sleepaway Camp)

“This is very solid song, that which reminding me of Eurythmics and the way Frank Vinci canto la parola “Angayy” mostly sound like Mick Jagger, is great! Excellent use for synthesizers e scatola batteria, making me to wish to be outside of rehab to making more musica!”

BODACIOUS HORROR BEDROOMS.

Posted on October 21, 2013 1 Comment

At the beginning of every autumn season since 1985, Uncle T says farewell to sunny California and flies to TNUC estates, located in the remote corner of the world known as Castle Rock, Maine. Similar to how you can count on just about every day in California being sunny with clear skies, during this time of year the air in Castle Rock is brisk, damp and eerily dark. It’s this type of climate that creates the ideal atmosphere for an ultimate, autumn-paradise getaway. Castle Rock also experiences a consistent mist flowing through the streets that locals say represents the trapped souls of dead prostitutes that used to cater to local fishermen back during the late 70’s. I’ll say this, it’s extremely similar to the fog roaming around the fictional town of Dunwich, seen in the Lucio Fulci classic ‘City of the Living Dead’.

The main wing of TNUC estates is a cliffside mansion, one that sits on the very tip of Castle Rock, overlooking the cold Atlantic. On any given night the silhouette of Uncle T can be seen in the highest attic window, rocking back and forth with the gleam of his single-dangly-cross-earring twinkling from the reflection of the moon. It’s here that he waits and listens to the rustling of leaves, the rumbling of a nearby ancient Indian burial ground, howling wind, waves crashing, and the sweet harmony of bloodcurdling teenage screams. He doesn’t partake in the outside carnage, but welcomes local psychopaths with open arms on to his property and encourages them to bring victims.

Over the years he’s collected a cluster of horror-movie items that are scattered throughout the home. This particular year he’s had a ravenous appetite for turning the master bedroom into a full-fledged horror spectacle. Something that will rival if not surpass the bedrooms seen in our favorite horror movies. This week TNUC counts down the top (3) bodacious horror bedrooms for inspiration:

#3 Terry from The Gate

1987’s The Gate introduced us to Terry, the young suburban headbanger and best friend of Glen. Terry has a lot going for him…he’s a red-head, wears glasses AND is fully immersed in metal & horror a.k.a. the perfect outcast. The kid even wears a Killer Dwarves patch on the back of his denim vest. By the looks of his bedroom it’s clear that at the core of Terry is molten metal, but we know he’s just as big of a horror fan, because heavy metal and horror go together like Pizza Hut and TMNT. When Terry’s not slam-dancing on his bed to Satanic metal, he’s launching rockets in the backyard and running from pint-sized demons with best bud Glen. To fully appreciate and understand this four-eyed metal warrior, you need to watch his solo performance, which features a monologue he does while wrapped up in a rainbow colored bed sheet. Go here to watch it when you’re done reading this post.

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#2 Tommy Jarvis from Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter

Played by a young Corey Feldman, Tommy Jarvis in Part 4 had a horror-spread in his bedroom that every monster kid would have drooled over. I read somewhere that special effects master Tom Savini was an inspiration for some of the development of this character. That makes sense when you watch scenes of Tommy showing new friend Rob his assortment of high-quality rubbery masks and his vampire/tremor hand puppet thing.

When Tommy’s not hanging out in his horror bedroom, he’s on boob-patrol for the new neighbors across the street, either catching a glimpse out his window or watching skinny-dipping babes by the lake. Plus he gets to live in a cabin in the woods and be terrorized by infamous Crystal Lake maniac Jason. This kid has it MADE.

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#1 Chainsaw from Summer School

Interestingly our top pick in this category doesn’t pull from a horror movie but rightfully so, Chainsaw should have his own horror movie when you stop and think about it…but that’s an entirely different topic we’ll discuss some other time. Let’s begin the panoramic tour.

Masks lined wall-to-wall, gore props, posters, severed body props, zombie dummy heads, an eyeball stress ball, the legendary hand alarm clock, heavy metal pictures and so much more! Certain rooms in a house are good when they’re kept neat, organized and structured…but a horror bedroom ideally should look like what Chainsaw has done with it. He’s a non-minimalist and proud of it. There’s something so satisfying and personal about having a collection of top-quality, rubbery, pre-CGI horror items right in your bedroom. The place where you sleep at night!

Chainsaw and his gorehound wingman Dave are horror-obsessed to the point that they’re actually extremely talented in the art of splatter effects as seen in several classic gags in Summer School. They may have been flunking in math and social studies, but the teachers and administrators at Ocean Front High clearly had no clue as to what kind of geniuses they had dosing off in the back of their classrooms.

Honorable Mentions:
Billy in Creepshow
Eddie in Trick or Treat
Charles in No Small Affair
Michael in Brainscan