ORIGINS OF THE BOGLINS.

Posted on December 16, 2013     3 Comments

Every so often I have to remind myself that a Christmas Boglin just doesn’t exist. Given the fact that Mattel pumped out not one, but two Halloween editions of these rubbery bundles of joy, and that their green & yellow flesh somewhat resembles the Grinch’s putrid skin, it seemed like a Christmas version would come out of natural progression. But that never happened! So if you’re insisting on bringing your Boglin home for the holidays this year but are embarrassed about his lack of Christmas flare, throw your cat’s Santa hat on him, strap a bottle of spiked Bog-Nog to those dangly arms of his and you’ll be a golden God in the eye of your family.

* *If you haven’t already, be sure to read TNUC’s first passage about the Boglins from 2012 here before continuing* *

The real reason why they’re in the spotlight this week is in response to a recent message that landed on the desk of TNUC regarding the actual origins of the Boglins! The message came from the toy line’s original creator Tim Clarke, which led me on a discovery of way more than I could have possibly imagined about the beginnings of these freakish little beasts. Prior to Tim’s creation of the Boglins, he worked with the one and only Jim Henson for The Henson Company. His first start in the toy business was designing the first line of figures for The Dark Crystal, which actually never saw the light of day because of issues that Hasbro had with how “dark” the film ended up being. Tim did however keep working with Henson on projects like the Muppets and Fraggle Rock.

 
After eventually being let go from The Henson Co. due to a lack of work at their end, Tim’s next creation would be the Sectaurs, another popular toy line which landed around the height of Thundercats and Masters of the Universe. Shortly after he commenced work on his pride and joy, the Boglins. He had previously learned about the endless possibilities of working with latex rubber from working with veteran make-up artist Dick Smith on The Dark Crystal. Using this knowledge and inspiration from Mexican “Olmec” heads, the Boglins were created. Even on the earliest prototype of the puppet, they were easily hand-operated and somewhat human-like. If you pulled on the original Boglin’s tail, it’s hands would open and close.

 
Deals were made and contracts were signed that in time had Tim’s creatures in the hands of Mattel and the Boglins as we know would rise to success and popularity. Years later and following multiple versions of the puppets (both big & small), the final Boglin was released sometime during the nineties.

Recently there’s been a resurgence and appreciation of these grotesque but lovable tiny beings. Besides being traded by collectors for high prices on auction sites, over the past few months I’ve seen Boglin t-shirts and artwork being bought and sold from fans. As for mastermind Tim Clarke, he unveiled a new toy line called TOTIMS at Designer-Con in Pasadena, CA last November. Be sure to head on over to his site TimClarkeToys.tumblr.com to see more behind the scenes photos, drawings and prototypes of the beloved Boglins!

 

DECEMBER’S DEADBEAT OF THE MONTH: ELLIS.

Posted on December 3, 2013     2 Comments

If it weren’t for a certain slimy cokehead who annually creeps into my life during Christmastime, I would have begun the first chapter of this brand new TNUC feature during the first of next year. But like always, Ellis becomes a strong moral hero every December as we sit down to watch one of the essential films of the holiday, Die Hard.

“Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals over breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.”

 

We can only ponder what would have been of Ellis if not for the fatal night at Nakatomi Plaza’s company Christmas party. As depressed as TNUC was to witness his brutal demise, I have strong feelings that Ellis left this world on top. The reasoning behind this is largely due to the 8-ball it appears that he finished before he was killed. Ellis’ booger-sugar marathon begins before the terrorists arrive and he’s even seen  keeping the party going strong during the violent hostage takeover. By the time he enters Hans’ office to work the smooth moves, he’s sweating profusely and making some of the most explosive facial gestures this side of the Mississippi.

His coke-fueled charisma during this scene ultimately gave this white knight first dibs on the Deadbeat Of The Month feature. From sleazing over female co-workers at the holiday party to being held hostage by foreign terrorists at gunpoint, Ellis remained dedicated to a higher purpose…riding the white lighting to the VERY end.

If you’re out there listening, congrats Ellis. You’ve just been crowned as December’s Deadbeat Of The Month!

TOP 5 MEAT MEDLEYS.

Posted on November 27, 2013     Leave a Comment

The aggressive title to this post would suggest that the following list is a savage stew of meat-themed heavy metal songs, but that in fact is not the case today.

The following feast of carefully selected meat medleys are ones that evoke that crispy vibe that’s in the air this time of year. Weather your entertaining a luscious lady tiger, shot-gunning Egg Nog and butterscotch candies with your grandparents or just sitting around in your jockstrap watching sports, TNUC urges you to secure these on your holiday playlists:

5) Steve Winwood – Freedom Overspill

Totally unrelated to holidays, but there’s something about this one that instantly gives me a mental image of a drunken Uncle dancing around the living room and eventually falling down on the tree and taking it with him to the floor.
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4) Glenn Frey – The One You Love

Deep burn. That’s the feeling you get from this forgotten gem from Glenn Frey’s catalog. He’s always held the saxophone in high regard and obviously it worked out for him. Everyone needs to stop talking about “You Belong to the City” for 4 minutes and 34 seconds and let this one slide in and sink in.
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3) David Foster – Love Theme

Here’s the first real “holiday” sounding track of the bunch, a beautiful ballad from the St. Elmo’s Fire soundtrack. This is a crucial number for curling up with your lady tiger in front of a roaring fireplace, preferably spread out on a Buffalo rug.
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2) Dream Academy – Power to Believe

Weeper of all eternity right here, but in a good way. Like so many others, we watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles every year at the TNUC castle and it’s this scene in the movie that really pulls at the heartstrings.
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1) Hugh Harris – The Rhythm of Life

To me, it’s the official John Candy war cry. The saxophone enters this song like a tidal wave and all it’s emotion comes splashing down right with it. The freeze-frame moment at the end of Uncle Buck when he’s waving goodbye to Tia will always get me! We miss you John.

Here’s a download of all the meaty medleys.

Enjoy.

SPIROS APPRECIATION WEEKEND.

Posted on November 22, 2013     2 Comments

In several locations over vast continents and oceans, a steady amount of rain is predicted for the upcoming weekend. I for one can’t think of anything I’d rather do on a rainy afternoon or evening than listen to the timeless trilogy of mixes from our main phantom of the night, SPIROS.

It pains me to even refer to these as “mixes” because they’re so much more than that. They’re more like “sacred gifts”. Some people are hell-bent on placing them in a genre like Way-Slo or Tropical Goth, but we know SPIROS mixes fit in no category because they are at the purest form, a feeling. Though we haven’t heard from or have known the whereabouts of this man for quite a while, these musical journeys of “passion and intrigue” have never ceased to inspire, delight and cut right to our core, over and over again. They’ve proved to be just as ageless and awe-inspiring as the view from his balcony overlooking the Mediterranean.

This rainy weekend I urge all of you to find a comfortable setting and sink deep into these musical offerings from TNUC’s vault of viciousness. If you thought the SPIROS mixes were engineered only for balmy nights on a private isle, you’re due for a rediscovery of the haunting magic which will give you a new perspective, while soft rain pelts at your window for that added touch of tender atmosphere. Attached to each of these harmonious meditations is a link to the accompanying letter that I received from him at the time when they were presented to me. For those new to this whole spectacle, you’re about to delve into one of those most important periods in TNUC history…

I. SPIROS presents A MIX SONG FOR YOU
Original release: April 2010
Passage of paramount: “Just relax…I’ll show you a new way to live”
Link: http://www.uncletnuc.com/2010/04/19/spiros-a-mix-song-for-you/

II. SPIROS presents THE MAGIC OF SPIROS
Original release: August 2010
Passage of paramount: “Don’t resist the tower of temptation”
Link: https://uncletnuc.com/2010/08/31/spiros-2-the-magic-of-spiros.html

III. SPIROS presents THE FINAL ECLIPSE
Original release: June 2011
Passage of paramount: “For your love I will try my hardest, take me up to the golden sun”
Link: http://www.uncletnuc.com/2011/06/14/spiros-3-final-eclipse.html

The question now is what, if anything, is next for SPIROS? Will we ever hear from this mythical, Mediterranean beast again? Discuss and share your experiences with these mixes below, please.

PASTAMANIA.

Posted on November 14, 2013     4 Comments

“Pasta” is probably the last thing I predicted would be relieving me of my post-Halloween pit of blandness. The problem with pummeling out posts left and right throughout a month like October is the inevitable comedown. Much like drinking Jack Daniels and popping ‘ludes all night with Vanity – times may seem like they’re at an all-time-high, but the after effects are going to be slightly sufferable. So of course it couldn’t be any ordinary, everyday pasta that would skyrocket TNUC back to the forefront. Today we tackle the iconic, food court staple of Minnesota’s Mall-of-America that whipped up signature dishes like Hulkaronis, Hulka-roo’s and Hulk-U’s…all from the mind of a certain over-oiled and over-tanned blonde warrior gourmet…

During the mid-90’s Hulk Hogan made two gigantic career leaps. First, he would leave his longtime pro-wrestling family of the WWF to join WCW and second – he would revolutionize Italian culinary culture by opening his very own restaurant Pastamania!, exclusively in the food court of this country’s largest mall. Here’s a short clip of the unforgettable grand opening which aired live on the world premiere of WCW’s Monday Night Nitro:

As the Hulkster proclaims in the video, eating at Pastamania! allegedly kept hungry fans slim & trim (it’s hard to believe, but then again Hulk Hogan would never lie to Hulkamaniacs and Pastamaniacs). Sadly the restaurant’s reign as king of the food court would be short-lived. Pastamania! was shut down less than one year after it being open. Food critics, world renowned top chefs and restaurant entrepreneurs would never find out what secret ingredients Chef Hulk used to create exquisite dishes like the Spaghetti & Hulk-Balls and Hulkuccine.

But wait…could it be….?

Several years after the demise of the restaurant a group of upset and enraged Pastamaniacs resurrected the original marquee and attached it to an abandoned building in downtown Minneapolis. We too refuse to let go of the dream…

(Don’t forget to continue onto Pt. 2 of this feature to see an actual Pastamania! menu)

DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS.

Posted on October 29, 2013     13 Comments

Do the current state of so-called “vampires” make you depressed? Of course I’m referring to the clean-faced, self-aware, neutered, poor excuse for a vampire that pollutes society these days. By neutered I mean it’s like they had their balls severed sometime during the course of their lives, a trend that was completely unheard of in vamp-culture pre-1992. Legends like Bela Lugosi must be rolling in their coffins while they look down at these twerps. David (Lost Boys) would be spitting up his noodle/worm/rice/maggot Chinese take-out combination plate – if he was still immortal enough to see how our culture defines what a bloodsucker is. Not only is TNUC + Big Mike’s DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS mix a 42-minute, Frog Brother-assault on these weaklings, it’s also a celebration of what it means to be a true-blue creature of the night! The chosen video vamps featured on this mix definitely aren’t driving Volvos and shopping at Urban Outfitters. They ride custom choppers and wear whatever post-apocalyptic, ratty, lone warrior garment they can get their claws on. They also don’t listen to Maroon 5 and hang out in the school library. Our bloodlusty demons are more likely to seduce your sister in the hallway and take her to a Ratt concert on the beach. So grab a bottle of blood wine, drag your combination TV/VCR out to the bonfire and and join us for ‘CAMP TNUC IV: DEATH TO FALSE VAMPS.

1) NIGHTWING INTRO
2) DOKKEN – UNCHAIN THE NIGHT
3) VICTIM – VICTIM
4) GRIM REAPER – NIGHT OF THE VAMPIRE
5) GERARD MCMANN – CRY LITTLE SISTER
6) AUTOGRAPH – CAN’T HIDE THE BEAST
7) TIM CAPELLO – I STILL BELIEVE
8) APRIL WINE – ROCK MYSELF TO SLEEP
9) JUDAS PRIEST – LIVING AFTER MIDNIGHT
10) TANGERINE DREAM – MAE’S THEME/RAIN IN THE THIRD HOUSE
11) W.A.S.P. – FOREVER FREE
12) BRAD FIEDEL – WINDOW WATCHING

MOLTEN HEAT