ENVIRONMENTS.
Posted on January 21, 2014 Leave a Comment
“Totally new concepts in sound”
These handsome beauties you’re looking at today are the bulk of a collection called the Environments series, a group of natural sound field recordings released as LPs and cassettes between 1970 – 1979. They range from crickets and bullfrogs in a swamp at dusk to waves crashing on a seashore. If you’re expecting some kind of Tangerine Dream-esque, synth odyssey happening here, you’ll probably be disappointed. These records have no musical accompaniment but can make for a very rewarding experience if played at the right volume and in the correct setting.
“The magic of psycho-acoustic sound”
I like the fact that these are some of the earliest known field recordings in history, meaning in this case some guy had to literally sit out in the Okefenokee swamp with primitive recording equipment, being eaten alive by bugs and Boglins for the passion of catching 60 mins of swamp sounds.
Repeatedly stated on the backside of each LP is an insane amount of hype, insisting that what you’re about to hear will be life changing. The liner notes inside give detailed instructions on “how to use” these records. Detailed isn’t even the right word, the directions given are so specific and informative that they include sections on “optimum results”, “continuous playback” “quadraphonic playback” and even “how to wash” the records.
TNUC’s bottom line: If you do choose to “use” these records, whether you pop a ‘lude and vege out on the couch or meditate and meet Uncle T on the cloud of enlightenment, prepare for a healthy dose of wilderness relaxation.
Below, one of the cassettes in the series which came after the initial run of LPs.
MORE PASTAMANIA.
Posted on January 18, 2014 7 Comments
The brief but iconic food court restaurant in Minnesota’s Mall-of-America might be ancient history, but legends never die. Just recently I received a message from a Minnesota native named PJ who actually came across an authentic menu from the grand opening of Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania!
(If you haven’t read our first PASTAMANIA spread, do that first at this location!)
Enjoy.
NIGHT MOVES.
Posted on January 14, 2014 1 Comment
Easily one of the top 3 happenings of last year was when TNUC coined the term trenchcoat-noir, a genre of music that’s been with us for decades but just never had a proper title.
Once in a while a tender slice of trenchcoat-noir comes my way and hits me square in the face, right out of the blue. That was the case with Marilyn Martin’s Night Moves, a song that evokes so much steaminess and evocativeness that I had to pinch myself to be sure I wasn’t dreaming.
She might be most known for her duet with Phil Collins on Separate Lives from the soundtrack to White Nights, but it wasn’t until Night Moves that TNUC’s trenchcoat radar began to go off. Every guitar wail and synth squeal in this track is like a shot straight to my heart.
I sure wouldn’t mind playing some dangerous games of my own with this hot, leather-clad vixen. Here she is performing the song on Solid Gold, a show that brought many of our beloved icons to the spotlight. Also, contrary to popular belief, the bassist in this performance with the lethal mane and bodacious moves is NOT Uncle T.
JANUARY’S DEADBEAT OF THE MONTH: STEVE THE BOUNCER.
Posted on January 7, 2014 5 Comments
[NOTE: DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH is an ongoing saga giving thanks and praise to a chosen deadbeat character each month. To see the rest of em’, go here]
Trying to choose a favorite deadbeat from Road House is like trying to choose a favorite hair pie from all the sorority girls at Pi Delta Pi. It’s a dirty and daunting job, but someone’s gotta’ do it.
For January’s chosen one, we’ve selected Steve, former bouncer of legendary honky tonk slaughterhouse the Double Deuce. I had reservations about choosing Steve among the sea of deadbeat-low-lifes in this movie because in my eye he appears to be a pretty likable guy. Let’s comb over the facts and understand why:
- He puts the ladies at #1.
- He gets paid to beat people up.
- He wears cut-off shirts to work.
- He does his job, but never tries too hard.
- He cares about his image, specifically his face as seen after he roughs up his cheek during the first barroom brawl and is heard asking very angrily, “DOES ANYONE HAVE A MIRROR?!”
- He treats eligible ladies to a hot night out at the DOUBLE DEUCE. Yes, the same place that sweeps the eyeballs off the floor after closing. Hey lucky ladies…drop your pants and give this degenerate a chance!
Based on the above information it’s clear that Uncle T and Steve share some of the same moral beliefs, but sadly for most of society…he’s a textbook deadbeat. After sneaking two underage girls with ridiculously fake ID’s (Sears credit cards) into the Double Deuce, about a minute passes and we see Steve giving one of the ladies his Saturday-night-beef-injection in a nearby stock room.
I’ll go on record right now and say that the only mistake Dalton made during his debut performance at the Double Deuce was firing Steve. You can tell by the smirk on his face that a part of him definitely admires Steve. He had a job to do and the bulk of those duties was to clean the joint up, but that smirk totally says “I get it”. Let’s turn the tables for a moment…if Elizabeth Clay had lured Dalton into some dirty closet and pulled up that tablecloth dress of hers, “no” wouldn’t be a word found in Dalton’s dictionary. If nothing else Steve at least brought some positivity to the Double Deuce. I for one can’t fault this guy for being at the sexual peak in his life and simply capitalizing on what nightlife in Jasper, Missouri had to offer.
So here’s to you, Steve – a dedicated deadbeat that secured a #1 spot on our January calendar. Speaking of which, who reading this right now would be interested in a 2014 DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH calendar? I already have each and every sleazeball identified for the entire year…so it could happen.
Remember to pay your respects to our former deadbeats at this location!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE HUT.
Posted on December 24, 2013 1 Comment
Not only the “Hut”, but Uncle T wishes all you disciples a holly jolly Christmas. If you’re injured and bed ridden from crashing your Trans AM on the way to your grandparents holiday party and are now alone, with absolutely no festive grindage to eat, why not give your neighborhood Pizza Hut a call? If the answer to that question is because I don’t want to feel any worse than I already do, than at least find some joy in the following excavated commercial jingle from 1983 – in Hi-Fi audio! Exclusively on TNUC: **UPDATE** This track has been taken down until next Christmas! If you REALLY want it, send me an email and I’ll forward it over.
2013 was another banner year for us, and I thank all of you for allowing some of your precious time to be taken up by my ramblings on pizza, the Barbarian Brothers, saxophone, summer camp, Vanity, fog, WWF, synth music, Dolph Lundgren, Kelly Bundy, Patrick Swayze, quaaludes, horror movies, forgotten warriors and well, you know the rest!
Mark my words…2014 will bring new TNUC merchandise, FINALLY. Be sure to follow TNUC on all the various outputs including Instagram, Soundcloud and Facebook.
KEVIN’S LOST DINNER.
Posted on December 20, 2013 1 Comment
“Bless this highly nutritional microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.”
There’s so much to love about Home Alone, but something about this 9 year old not giving this good looking, well balanced, nuked dish a simple bite that never ceases to frustrate me to my very core….I know i’m not alone in this either.
This isn’t the first marvelous looking plate of food that Kevin sat down to feast on. From his Little Nero’s personal cheese pizza, to that ice cream sundae explosion that he scarfed down while watching Angels With Filthy Souls, to the steaming hot thin crust pizza courtesy of the Plaza Hotel on the limo drive over to Duncan’s Toy Shop in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York…let’s face it, Kevin knew how to eat.
Some brave and generous soul took the time to put together the following video of Kraft and Velveeta vintage commercials that really relaxed TNUC when he recently watched it all the way through. There’s something about these recipes and their phenomenal blend of cheese and fat that helped TNUC forget about Kevin’s lost dinner.
OK, time to get the kitchen staff pumping out these dishes by the 25th. Don’t be surprised if the next update you hear about TNUC is his triple bypass surgery.
uncletnuc.com 