(THE LAST GOODBYE) HORSES.
Posted on August 25, 2022 1 Comment
Q Lazzarus – the elusive and mysterious musician who rose to notoriety with her 1988 song Goodbye Horses died last week. The song was of course best known from an unforgettable scene in the Oscar-winning film Silence of the Lambs.
If there’s one standalone moment about the movie that has made a lasting impression on me or better yet, haunted my soul for decades, it’s Goodbye Horses. Buffalo Bill’s “transformation” scene wouldn’t have been nearly as creepy and shocking without Q Lazz crooning the words to Goodbye Horses over that hypnotizing melody as it echoes through Bill’s dungeon basement.
Before the song is introduced in the film, the build up of POV camera shots inside Bill’s lair are pure nightmare fuel. Peeking around the cave-like corners and seeing mannequins, women’s clothing, flying bugs and general filth. It feels like you’re walking through a haunted house and wondering what monstrous thing you’re bound to encounter next.
Then it’s time for Goodbye Horses.
As music placement perfection in film goes, it doesn’t get any better than this. The song starts playing in between close-ups of Bill’s makeup, tattoos and piercings — then switches back to poor Katherine’s desperate cries for help from down inside the underground pit. As she attempts to lure his dog “Precious” to the edge of the pit, the volume of the song is echoey and distant, adding to the atmosphere of being in an actual basement and the music coming from dark, unknown depths.
I’ve never been exactly sure what “sound design” means but if I had to guess, this scene probably defines it. The song gets louder until it’s finally fully exposed and we see Bill applying his makeup and skin. Finally, the infamous “tuck” scene arrives and sends people like my mother turning the movie off and leaving the room in 1993.
You’ll never forget the scene as you’ll never forget the song. They compliment each other to provide maximum effect. What’s also fascinating about Goodbye Horses is how infectious and genuinely great the song actually is. The drums, lyrics and THAT VOICE. It’s a dark and eerie masterpiece.
Before the internet, my friend and I would creep out at the song and wonder what a “Q Lazzarus” must look like. The deep vocal part had us questioning if it was a male or female, which I think subconsciously does wonders for the scene in Silence of the Lambs.
According to it’s writer, “the song is about transcendence over those who see the world as only earthly and finite. The horses represent the five senses discussed in the Bhagavad Gita and the ability to lift one’s perception above these physical limitations and to see beyond this limited Earthly perspective.”
Allegedly as the story goes, Q Lazzarus (real name is Diane Luckey) was a cab driver in New York in the ’80s when she picked up filmmaker Jonathan Demme. She played her demo tape for him in the taxi, and he was blown away. He used her music in not only Silence of the Lambs but three of his other films as well.
It’s amazing to think about the impact she left with just one song. Truly iconic. R.I.P.
TIM CAPPELLO LIVE.
Posted on August 17, 2022 2 Comments
Outside, on a breezy summer night, I just saw Tim Cappello live in concert. I repeat….I JUST SAW TIM CAPPELLO — live with saxophone, chains, oil and codpiece. I had to say it twice outload because it seems unbelievable. But it was real, it was absolutely real.
It’s been 35 years since the infamous Santa Carla boardwalk show that featured the glistening saxophone icon playing I Still Believe to a frenzied crowd of teenage locals and carnival-goers. That infamous “scene” from 1987’s The Lost Boys clocked in at approximately 14 seconds. To think that over three decades later, this seconds-long performance had so much of an impact that he’s able to play in front of crowds in 2022 is remarkable. Last weekend he played to a sold out parking lot crowd by himself, with no backing band, at 67 years old! The man is still in top powerful form, still lathered in oil in chains and playing that saxophone like it’s the end of the world. Here is my video footage from the show:
He still has the power. The thrusts. Everything still intact. His set featured a handful of songs which included a funky, almost Cuban sounding sax-jam, a song from his days playing in Ringo Starr’s band and of course the seminal hit I STILL BELIEVE. Between songs he joked with the crowd, told stories and had a hilarious, interactive dance session with the audience. He told a story about working with Don Johnson on Miami Vice that had everyone busting up.
Cappello has been doing this for the last few years — showing up at conventions, movie screenings and signings. For an old Santa Carla streetwalkin’ cheetah like Uncle T, finally seeing the guy LIVE was a surreal moment that I’ll never forget. I can remember walking into Tape World at the mall as small child and walking up to the front counter with The Lost Boys soundtrack because of that song.
I Still Believe is one of those songs that to this day I can’t get tired of. That lion-roaring-saxophone-eruption is so timeless and unforgettable. I must have responded to it so much when I was younger because he plays the sax like a guitar. It’s loud, in your face and doesn’t take no for an answer.
I recommend — no fuck that — I demand every Lost Boys fan reading this to buy a ticket to Tim Cappello if he comes around your neck of the woods. This isn’t just some novelty, niche, nerd-horror convention thing AT ALL. This is a guy who played in Tina Turner’s band on some of her biggest hits. A guy who played with Ringo Starr, Carly Simon and Peter Gabriel. Tim is the real deal and he commands the stage with the sax as his battle axe.
For several moments I would close my eyes and with the cool breeze and sound of the saxophone, it felt like I was back in Santa Carla again. I finished the night by getting my ear pierced and racing dirt bikes on the foggy beach.
BONUS/DISCLAIMER: As you know, TNUC likes to stick to the same essential food groups. Saxophone, Pizza Hut, The Barbarian Brothers, Long-Butts, Beer Wolf, Halloween and Summer Camp. If you’re a regular around here, you know we can’t help constantly talking about these things and devoting entire articles to their causes. So because Uncle T always likes to give something away, here is the demo version of Ozzy Osbourne’s “See You On The Other Side” which features a choir and SAXOPHONE. (No, it’s not Tim Cappello playing…but enjoy).
EDDIE MUNSON’S HELLFIRE BASEMENT TAPE.
Posted on July 22, 2022 6 Comments
Eddie Munson has all the nasty attributes to be chiseled in stone forever inside TNUC’s “hall of icons and misunderstood powerhouses”. Troubled upbringing, parental guardian issues, heavy metal weirdo, basement dweller, held back at school, sells drugs at school, plays Dungeons & Dragons, loves Dio, lives with his uncle, he’s an axe-grinder, piledriver and so on and so forth. Plus, that battle vest he wears? Reeks of cigarettes and Spaghetti-o’s…guaranteed.
All of this mind you, and he’s the coolest motherfucker at Hawkins High. Jocks fear him and geeks worship at his D&D altar. The cheerleaders and country club girls agree he’s a weirdo — but secretly they’ve always been fascinated by this “dark horse” wondering around at school.
After the character of Billy Hargrove was introduced in Stranger Things, I didn’t think it could get any better. That’s why in 2019, TNUC made Billy’s Hot Camaro Tape. Also this was due to the fact that Uncle TNUC’s “Manimal” mascot and Billy were alike in so many ways. Some theorize that we were separated at birth. Brothers forever..
Eddie is a completely different story, of course. Eddie is the SPIRIT of all the great controversial figures who mouth-breathing turkeys have tried to take down for decades. Whether it was Tipper Gore and the PMRC, or the conservative church group in your town, there will always be some dingus hollering about how guys like Eddie must be devil worshippers or a bad influence on kids. Ozzy Osbourne, Blackie Lawless, Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Sammi Curr and now Eddie Munson.
A few of Eddie’s ‘Hellfire Club’ compadres provided TNUC this mixtape straight from the depths of the D&D master’s basement. So spark up some of that burlacious ganja-bud because it’s going to be a long night. Press play and roll the dice for EDDIE MUNSON’S HELLFIRE BASEMENT TAPE.
^ WELCOME TO HELLFIRE ^
A note from the author: Uncle T hopes you disciples enjoy this mixtape as much as he enjoyed gathering songs, going through newspaper archives at the local library and interviewing ex-PTA meeting moms about “satanic panic” in small towns across rural America.
Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity)
STEADY ON THE STEEL.
Posted on June 15, 2022 Leave a Comment
In this current day of whiners, wimps, wusses and weasels, it’s sometimes nice to go back and discover an old thing that’s so tough-as-nails and full of piss n’ vinegar, you wonder if musicians like this even exist anymore.
BLACKLIST were a working class heavy metal band from Milwaukee and by working class, I literally mean one (or more) of these fellas was an ironworker singing about blue collar life like swinging a hammer all day and drinking beer all night.
I wonder when the last time a group of working stiffs like Blacklist got a break in the music business. I could be wrong, but these days it seems like you need to be an intellectual hipster or be pre-assembled and manufactured to catch a break. I mean hell, Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath used to work in a sheet metal factory (where he lost of the tips of his fingers which resulted in his playing style).
Get a load of these lyrics:
He’s busting ass for a living
On the forty-fifth floor
The cold winds howling
Got one foot in the door
He only wants an honest day’s pay
For a good day’s work
This life is gonna kill him
Those around him, they fear the worst
He tries to be the man they want to see, but
Somehow he never gets it right
Don’t want to see him fry,
Don’t want to see him die
The feel of the cold steel
The hammers pound
Breaks out in a cold sweat
Three hundred feet off the ground
But at five o’clock they hit the bars
And have a drink or ten
And when he thinks it’s over
Some fool tells him it never ends
But he’s steady on the steel
The way he lives, it’s the way he feels
He’s steady on the steel
You’re steady on the steel
The way you live, it’s the way you’re feeling
You’re steady on the steel
PIZZA MIND CONTROL.
Posted on May 16, 2022 Leave a Comment
A special bulletin from the desk of Uncle T in accordance with Hawkins National Laboratory (HNL):
The fine, trusting folks in lab coats over at HNL were kind enough to drop off a Domino’s personal cheese pizza just for me on this sunny afternoon. Strangely enough when I found it, the pizza pie was deliberately placed on top of a neighborhood sewer grate which I first questioned, but then remembered that iconic scene in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie when the Domino’s Pizza delivery guy passes the pizza through the sewer grate and mutters to himself “ugh I gotta get a new route”. Great scene. Works for me.
Apparently Domino’s are the next company to climb aboard the Stranger Things promotional juggernaut and I could not be more happy. The pizza company has developed “Mind Ordering” technology in which customers are given the opportunity to order pizza with their mind if they posses the right amount of telekinetic powers. This was discovered in 1986 by scientists in Hawkins. The software is available from your computer cellular devices from a something called an “app”. All the details are here.
But let’s just talk about this beautiful box for a moment. Domino’s finally smartened up thanks to Stranger Things and the box is just like the glory days of the iconic pizza company. Makes ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside when these companies return to their roots. Never change. Let’s hope it stays this way, just like Burger King, Pizza Hut and Miller Lite seemed to have done. Order yours today!
And yes, there is an area of the box not pictured here that features “The Noid” mascot, but because I’ve always loathed him I won’t even show him an ounce of respect by posting his photo. I know he’s supposed to be annoying but I’ve just always thought “Donny Domino” got the short end of the deal. He wore sunglasses and he rules.
Now for the grand finale, before you jump into Stranger Things Season 4 when it premieres next week, check out these ancient photos of a Domino’s Pizza Delivery dude and his buds. Big thanks to Ray Conrado (flickr) for the memories! (main pizza boy in all the photos).
Hungry for more? Add some music to your week with two TNUC mixtapes revolving around pizza and Stranger Things:
#1 ‘Ooey Gooey Cheesy Pizza Mixtape’
SONGS FROM ‘THE POINT’ [Part 3].
Posted on April 28, 2022 Leave a Comment
Everyone’s heard of ‘THE POINT’. Even if you don’t know from personal experience, surely you’ve heard the stories, the legends, moments and magic that supposedly happened up on that hill. Old timers, friends, parents, older bothers, townies, local icons, denim warriors….hell, even your sister probably has something to say about The Point that you might not want to hear.
It’s been a while since we submitted a new batch of ‘Songs from The Point’, so if you’re new to this TNUC feature please start with Part 1 followed by Part 2 before continuing.
Basically The Point aka “Make-out Point” is a sacred, promiscuous location that is spiritually engineered for turning up the heat and getting frisky with a loved one, your crush or random stranger of the night. The real old-timers called this activity “parking”.
It’s that spot up on the hill that typically overlooks a stretch of woods, city skyline, valley or body of water. But history has shown that it can be anywhere you want it to be. Parking lots, old farmhouse, drive-in theater, the 50-yard-line of your high school football field, under the bleachers. You name it. All you really need is the right ride and the right tunes.
To quote Part 1 of this series, there are some simple ground rules when choosing songs for your night at The Point. “When it comes to picking songs, don’t choose anything too obvious. NO TYPICAL LOVE BALLADS. NO TOP 40. NO STAIRWAY! Deep cuts and hidden gems are the key. Nothing dorky or too progressive though. You need to impress your hellcat. You want chunky riffs that also boogie. You want swirling, celestial guitar solos that sound like they’re being played by long-haired, bong-ripping angels in heaven. Essentially “dad rock”…but not corporate dad who drives a Saab and can’t even build his own campfire. We’re talking about Union Carpenter dad. The one who spends his free time in the garage with the music blaring over a crappy stereo that he refuses to part with. He’s in there doing blue-collar activities like welding some cast iron with his shirt off, engulfed in fumes as a cigarette dangles from his bottom lip.
Ease those seats back, crack some beers and listen loudly under the open sky…”
6) Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band – Sunburst
This song represents “the great escape”. Mom’s upstairs sleeping and dad’s passed out drunk on the La-Z-Boy chair. You tip-toe out of the house, open the garage door, hop in the station wagon and set the gear in neutral to reverse as quietly as humanly possible out of the driveway without starting the ignition. If your older sister comes home and witnesses this, she’ll rat you out in two seconds flat, so time is of the essence. After all, Jenny is waiting.
The wood-paneled doors glisten from the street lights as you push the car a little further past the house. Precisely when the 2:08 minute mark happens in Bob Seger’s “Sunburst”, you peel out into the night. Your mother’s 8-track player rattles and hums like it’s going to explode and you also think a hubcap just rolled off one of the tires, but there’s still not a care in the world. What’s important is that bottle of 151, Brut cologne and the Astroglide. Jenny is waiting.
Moment of Climax: 2:08 in the song
Preferred ride of choice: 1976 Chevy Chevette
Buy the album: Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band – Night Moves (1976)
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5) Thin Lizzy – Wild One
This song plays directly when twilight hits and those purple and orange skies meet. Maybe it’s really as beautiful as it seems, or maybe it’s that ancient ziplock bag of mushrooms you found under your car seat speaking now. Whichever the case, you want this feeling to last forever. The dream woman by your side, a pack of smokes, the open sky and a cool breeze. Every so often when you go for another sip of warm Lowenbrau in between necking, you hear the sweet echoes of Scott Gorham’s guitar and Phil Lynott’s vocals lifting you up to new dimensions of immortal freedom.
Moment of Climax: The opening, soaring lick
Preferred ride of choice: Unknown crusty van
Buy the album: Thin Lizzy – Fighting (1975)
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4) Wings – Let Me Roll It
If that bassline within the first 20 seconds doesn’t turn your lady into a snake-charmer before your crystal eyes, I’ll be damned. The quiet and naïve girl you picked up during daylight hours has turned into a ritualistic voodoo child. The two inches of ash dangling from the skinny joint she’s smoking is dangerously close to falling on your purple shag carpet interior but you just let it go. Statistically it’s a known fact that songs like this transform everyday people into the sex panthers they were destined to be. There’s a very good reason why these songs mostly come from the 1970s. There’s a certain grit and groove from the guitar that summons a primal instinct. Play this one LOUD.
Moment of Climax: The call and response when the bassline stops and guitar crunch begins
Preferred ride of choice: 1965 Buick Riviera
Buy the album: Paul McCartney and Wings – Band On The Run (1973)
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3) Joe Walsh – The Confessor
This is one of those monumental songs that you remember an uncle playing when you were 8 years old in his smoky basement. He tells you he’s blown out several copies on cassette and this one was “for his old lady”, even though you don’t remember him ever having an old lady. Then one night he confesses that one time during the war he visited a prostitute and his life has been a living hell ever since.
The title track to Joe Walsh’s 7th studio album “The Confessor” is a monster that will zonk your brain out whether you ate that handful of ‘ludes or not. Walsh was 7 studio albums in at this point in his career, plus the 3 James Gang records that preceded those. As much of a household name Joe Walsh is from The Eagles, his solo albums do not get the praise they deserve. Hop in the front seat and rev the engine a few times when that riff comes crashing in.
Moment of Climax: The moment you realize you should be listening to more Joe Walsh
Preferred ride of choice: 1980 GMC Jimmy
Buy the album: Joe Walsh – The Confessor (1985)
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2) Blue Öyster Cult – Divine Wind
Here comes the moment in the night when you and the lady friend start talking about astronomy, burritos and laser beams. You bring up the repeated story about how ever since you got shot in the head by that massive laser beam at the BÖC show last year, life hasn’t been the same. The feeling was scary for a while but now you’ve just accepted it. She usually laughs when you tell this story but this time she pauses and gives you a look that makes your leather pants shift to the left.
The only issue with choosing a BÖC song for this list is there are too many to choose from. They are truly the ideal band for Songs from The Point. One of the most underrated bands in rock history with some albums that I consider to be masterpieces. Songs about death, ancient mysteries, women, bikers, vampires and the occult.
Moment of Climax: “If he really thinks we’re the devil, then let’s send ’em to hell”
Preferred ride of choice: 1976 Dodge Tradesman Van with the little teardrop window in the back.
Buy the album: Blue Oyster Cult – Cultosaurus Erectus (1980)
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1) Balearic Sabbath Mix
When someone talks about Black Sabbath they’ve probably never used the term “Balearic” in the same sentence because A) it’s not relevant and B) they might catch a beating. But think about all the little acoustical numbers Sabbath has peppered into their albums through the discography. Balearic music occupies an island state of mind and is a broad range of music that fits best by a poolside or a mystical beach. “Still, how does this relate to Sabbath’s music?” Just listen.
A producer by the name of Robert E Lee rounded up all of Sabbath’s slower, folky songs and put together an excellent mix that you won’t believe after 35 minutes that you’ve been listening to the inventors of heavy metal.
A perfect wee-hours/early morning listening session as you drive home from The Point…
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Songs from ‘The Point’ [Part 2]
Songs from ‘The Point’ [Part 1]
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