ROCKUTZ.
Posted on March 3, 2023 3 Comments
Everybody brace yourselves because for probably the first time in your life, you’re about to have a song about a hair salon stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. Thanks to my compadre Johann Hawk for providing this incredible artifact.
That’s right disciples, this heavy metal hair salon called Rockutz was the place to go for all your teased, poodle puff, aqua net-embracing, larger than life ROCK CUTS. Whether you were getting prepped for glamour shots for those upcoming glossy photo 8×10 band promos or just going out on Friday night to see Kix, the best place to get teased ‘n pleased was Rockutz.
Rockutz is a bit of an unsolved mystery in terms of their not being a whole lot of historical information on the internet, but I did find that a hairdresser named Michael Dean is the genius behind the establishment. Everyone called him “Mickey” and he was not only a hairstylist but a musician as well.
I’m not entirely sure how long Rockutz was in operation, but Mickey’s hair salon still remains in the same location in Lynwood, Washington and is simply now called Michael Dean Salon.
Legend states that “Rockutz” the song playing in the video was Mickey himself laying down some shrieking vocals! If anyone has contact information for Mickey or his family/friends, please reach out to Uncle TNUC as we’d love to conduct an in-depth interview.
Now go revisit the video and pump your fists with the song because there’s no way in hell it won’t be ringing in your ears all weekend. “Rockutz…look like a staaaarrrrrrr!!!!”
METAL MEATBALLS.
Posted on February 23, 2023 1 Comment
Mmm…did you get a whiff of that? Those delicious aromas of mozzarella, parmesan, prosciutto and a fresh loaf of Italian bread. Nana’s baked ziti just coming out of the oven. A steamy bowl of meatballs smothered in thick tomato sauce. Finally, a group of fluffy haired, Italian heavy metal warriors all dressed in black. It could only mean one thing…
The METAL MEATBALLS are here.
Think about it for a moment and you’ll know who I’m talking about. Everyone’s seen these guys or might even personally know a few. TNUC’s new Instagram account “@METAL_MEATBALLS” is a dedication to the fluff heads, greasy dudes and poodle headed alphas that you see on the back of album covers. The mustached brutes that could also easily be on a cigarette break behind the kitchen at your local deli. The guy that stares uncomfortably at your sister every time you’re in line to buy a calzone.
We started the @Metal_Meatballs page to shine a light on these warriors because I don’t think they get the recognition that’s deserved. My personal favorite type of Meatball is the “every man”. The bassist from a power metal band who could very well be your trash man hanging on the back of the garbage truck or the guy installing your new roof.
Metal Meatballs come from all corners of the earth. Some are well known (Ronnie James Dio, Kane Roberts, Vito Bratta) while others bubble up from underground (Joey ‘Thunder’ Cussamano, Enzo Mascolo, Frankie Force). ALL ARE WELCOME TO THE MEATBALL FAMIGLIA. Buon Appetito!
The account will be more than just posting photos and video. The intention is to get inside the minds of these mighty men and women. See what makes them tick, where do they go for a perm and what’s the ultimate Sunday dinner at Ma’s house.
Please support these proud warriors by following @Metal_Meatballs on Instagram.
LITTLE RICHARD THE RATT.
Posted on January 23, 2023 Leave a Comment
If you thought for a second that boogie-woogie icon Little Richard showing up in an episode of Full House in 1994 was the almighty “stars aligning” highlight of the decade, think again you idiot.
Because four years prior, we clearly missed the monumental moment of Little Richard hanging out with the dudes from RATT backstage during a video shoot. Please watch below.
How quickly we forget that Little Richard made himself a bit of an advocate for rock bands back in the day. Not only was he Ratt ‘n Rolling with Stephen, Robbin, Bobby, Juan and Warren but during that same year, he appeared in Cinderella’s video for ‘Shelter Me’ and who could forget him rocking out with Jesse and The Rippers on stage at The Smash Club in the Season 7 episode “Too Little Richard Too Late”…
I’m lacking a true historian’s knowledge on Little Richard, but I remember as a kid definitely going back and forth between thinking “he’s cool” and “what a loveable dude” to wow, he’s downright terrifying. LR comes across as the coolest man alive but at the same time the makeup, hair and deranged facial gestures sketched me out a bit.
REST IN POWER, LR! Party-on with Robbin Crosby in heaven.
D E A D S Y.
Posted on January 11, 2023 3 Comments
Of all the bands that I’ve come to love and enjoy, DEADSY are the most endlessly fascinating. The more you dig into this band and explore the music and mythos, the deeper into the abyss you will drift. I could literally write a 10-page midterm paper about Deadsy. There is that much to dissect. For roughly the last twenty years, my closest friends and I have spent — and will continue to spend late evenings drinking beers and talking about Deadsy while the sounds of a snarling Les Paul and Z-Tar echo through the air. “Wait…what?”
Right about now I’m sure people reading this are thinking, “that band from the Korn days? The Key to Gramercy Park? The Orgy sounding dude?”
Which is why I’ve had my trepidations with writing about Deadsy because I honestly don’t know where to begin. For one, they couldn’t be any more different than the aforementioned bands. Deadsy’s music is heavy, lush, otherworldly, melodic, shrouded in mystery and exists on its own plane. This band has always felt like a best kept secret between my friends and I. Like a secret society of like-minded amigos who have the greatest taste in music and Deadsy being this sacred thing that nobody else understands but us. #UNDERCORE
I discovered the band back in high school, when the majority of our free time was spent driving around, listening to music and smoking weed. Our music consumption during a single car ride would flow from CSNY’s Deja Vu into Slayer’s Reign In Blood…..then Dr. Dre’s The Chronic into Rush’s 2112. This explains why we as kids, didn’t fit into any single category at school. Jocks, preps, bookworms, stoners, freaks……nobody. We were a little bit of everything. Deadsy is a little bit of everything. BUT FROM BEYOND.
I loathed the first half of my high school years from being pulled away from my friends to attend private school. The songs on Deadsy’s debut album Commencement put interesting thoughts into my head about academia and I began to see a new but adjacent, universal perspective on the whole “institutional” aspect of school. Songs like ‘Mansion World’, ‘Future Years’, ‘Winners’ and ‘Lake Waramaug’ put fantastical ideas in my head and were a much needed distraction from the daily mundane. It wasn’t the cliché middle finger to school, rather a way to rise above it and form your own little paradise. Once I even stopped my school’s Catholic priest in the hallway to ask if he knew about the Urantia Book. He looked at me like I had three heads.
Leading up to graduation, I was visiting different colleges throughout the New England area. My boredom during those long rides with my parents to New Hampshire and Vermont would subside when daydreaming and putting the Deadsy lens on the whole experience. One of the great things about music is the feeling of being transported to another place or time. This was certainly the case with this band but elevated and it had a different energy.
Maybe it attributed to being around college campuses in New England and the connection with Deadsy’s prep school vibe, but something about the depth and mystery within these songs was tapping hard into my imagination. It didn’t so much as transport me to another place as it opened my eyes and kept me in the ever-present. If that makes any sense.
As I mentioned, the members of Deadsy had an evil prep school vibe during that era that I found endlessly fascinating. This, coupled with the music, provided hours of staring at album artwork, dissecting lyrics and noticing little new things in the songs each time you listen. They operated like a modern day KISS in terms of each band member having a different character with a symbol. Academics. Leisure. War. Science and Horror.
Their frontman, P Exeter Blue (Elijah Blue Allman) seemed to have landed from another decade or I should say, mid-space time dilation. If I had to explain his vocal style, think somewhere between David Bowie and Peter Steele.
The band arrived on the scene during the nu-metal days of the early 00’s. To be honest back then I didn’t know what to think, as this was a radically new sound to most people including myself. It was a little depressing and “electronic” for my ears at that time. You have to keep this all in perspective and context…Deadsy entered the picture when Korn, Linkin Park, Tool, System of a Down and Limp Bizkit dominated rock radio and the mainstream. While several of those bands supported Deadsy and brought them out on the road as a support act, they certainly didn’t fit in.
I think for the masses, hearing synthesizers mixed with Type O Negative vocals and sludgy riffs went right over people’s heads. It was so outside what was happening at that time with rock music. Everything they did seemed against the grain. A keyboard player in a band? Completely unheard of during those days (unlike how it is now.)
Deadsy looked like prep-school misfits in technicolor from another dimension. Five guys who just walked off the set of Tron and could play Duran Duran melodies over slowed down Morbid Angel riffs. Again, I didn’t know what to think when I first heard it. But the strangest thing was that I kept coming back. I had never experienced this sort of slow-burn effect with music before, as it had always been hit or miss for me.
As I kept giving this strange band another listen, there was something familiar and nostalgic about it. They seemed to be channeling Black Sabbath, Depeche Mode and elements of prog rock, but pushing it into the neon-soaked stratosphere.
I’ll never forget hearing the opening to ‘Winners’ and the chills that ensued. Keep in mind, this is over a decade before synthwave or any sort of synth-based music would be a thing. That wash of sound floored me and still does to this day.
Deadsy released two full length albums during their tenure, Commencement in 2002 and Phantasmagore in 2006. In the interest of not making this article 42 pages I’m going to skip over dissecting those brilliant albums (save it for another time). Instead let’s leap forward…
If there is one downfall with Deadsy, it is that they are not prolific. It’s frustrating to have a band you love so much have such a limited body of music over 20+ years. Granted, the band did take a pretty big hiatus until a few years ago but the bottom line is — fans have been promised a lot over the years and very little has panned out.
…Enough whining! The good news to announce is that Deadsy have been in the studio and creating NEW MUSIC. A third album is on the way (fingers crossed in 2023) and that is all we really care about!
Now disciples, let your Uncle TNUC be your guide. Strap on a pair of headphones and give this band your full attention. They are unlike anything you’ll ever hear.
REUNITED, AND IT FEELS SO GOOD.
Posted on December 7, 2022 Leave a Comment
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand more times. One of the great marriages in pop culture history is the sacred vow of heavy metal and horror. Whether it’s Dokken’s “Dream Warriors” or Alice Cooper’s “He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)”, the two worlds pairing together works insanely well and rules so goddamn hard.
So back in 1988 when genre hellions W.A.S.P. were invited to participate in the soundtrack to Ghoulies II with the track “Scream Until You Like It”, all was right with the world and the universe was on our side. It simply does not get any better than watching Blackie Lawless and the boys headbang with a pack of pint-sized monsters in the music video.
The Ghoulie puppets were made by legendary special effects master John Carl Buechler (R.I.P.). I’ve always heard this rumor swirling around about how Blackie allegedly got to keep one of the puppets after making the music video. However with Blackie being a fairly elusive figure over the years, this has only been myth and unconfirmed. What’s even more frustrating though, is from the few interviews he’s done, NO ONE has asked him about the whereabouts of his little Ghoulie friend, which boggles my mind.
With W.A.S.P. currently touring the US in 2022/2023 for the first time in over a decade, ravenous fans have been showing up in droves to the shows. All of this is fantastic to report, but here’s where things get mighty interesting. Blackie is doing meet and greets after the show and guess what recently happened?
At the Nashville, TN tour date, one noble dude actually stood in line with one of the Ghoulies to have signed by Blackie!
CHERISH THESE SPECIAL MOMENTS. But seriously, this is so cool and Blackie seems to have a really good attitude about the whole thing. I mean, of course he does. If part of my legacy as a musician involved a moment rocking out with little demonic killer puppets, I would be one happy son of a bitch as well.
Thanks to W.A.S.P. fans Liya Tova for letting TNUC use the photos and Ty Cole for creating this moment.
If someone’s looking for any last minute Christmas gift ideas for your #1 Uncle (TNUC), these tremendous Ghoulie puppets are now available from Trick or Treat Studios. For everything I do!?
MYSTERY MEAT MIX 3: ROOM FOR DESSERT?
Posted on November 21, 2022 5 Comments
“Room for dessert?” Grandma TNUC asks in that sweet voice, as she slides a putrid-green thing filled with God-knows-what nuclear waste across the dinner table. Family members gasp and shriek in horror when they see what just landed on the otherwise very pleasant Thanksgiving holiday spread.
Kids at the kid’s table run away crying. In-laws quietly creep out the back door and get in their cars. It’s worse than any steaming roadkill scraped off the highway. It’s scarier than Aunt Bethany’s cat food Jell-O from the Griswold’s infamous family Christmas of 1989.
Poor old Granny T used to be a wonder in the kitchen. Her hot dog casseroles and ambrosia salads were talked about several towns away. But the old buzzard was finally showing her age and starting to lose her marbles. At the last family function, Cousin Larry found several cigarette butts in his soup, cranberry sauce mixed with moth balls, her new “Peppermint Schnapps Pie” recipe and finally, a hearing aid floating in a cup of Egg Nog.
Granny T tries her damnedest, but one thing’s for sure..she isn’t so out of touch or loopy to notice people’s reactions to her cooking. It breaks her heart to know that her time is almost up.
Suddenly from the living room there is a devastating stomping coming closer. People look up and it’s Uncle TNUC himself, abruptly waken from a 3 hour nap after polishing off that bottle of Wild Turkey in the morning. He witnesses what’s going on and sees Grandma TNUC’s heartbroken face. His fist slams down on the table, sending drinks splashing and the white fine china dinnerware chattering. He lashes out at the family members, scolding them about how ungrateful they’ve become. He mumbles something about how they could possibly treat Nana this way after “all she’s been through”. No one knows what this means, and he’s rambling…but they let him finish.
UT pulls up a chair and grabs a massive spoonful of Nana’s nuclear casserole. He swallows and then pauses. Suddenly a belch so loud erupts that it shakes the dining room table and even the family dog does the paws over the eyes thing. His face turns a sour, swampy color and seconds later he face-plants into the table.
Remembering what happened after that fateful dessert of 1982 is hazy but one memory is quite clear. After peeling his face off the dinner plate hours later, he went up to his old bedroom and put together another mixture of appetizing songs to help his symptoms. It’s the 3rd mixtape in the ‘Mystery Meat’ series and we have it right here in time for the holidays!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DISCIPLES.
Listen however you please, but I strongly recommend taking this one on the road. Aside from being obviously food-themed, it’s also heavily inspired by TNUC’s favorite holiday travel movies. These songs make me think of the open road and the way the sun hits this time of year. Have fun.
♥
MYSTERY MEAT MIX 2: THE SECOND HELPING (2020)
MYSTERY MEAT MIX PART 1 (2015)
Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity)
uncletnuc.com 