As a wise man from a Monster Ballads commercial once said, “every bad boy has a soft side”.

Power ballads, monster ballads, tearjerkers, panty droppers, heavy weepers. Whatever you call them, they are without question an important part of music history and we as a society don’t talk about them enough. Shame on us.

It’s actually not that the genre within a genre isn’t talked about enough, rather not in the right regard. For many of our favorite artists these particular songs were the exact ones that catapulted them to massive success. For even the harder-hitting tough guys of the scene, it wasn’t happening for them until “the ballad” made them darlings of MTV and kept their record on the charts for weeks and months. It took many of them several singles and albums before they finally broke with a love song.

Make no mistake, there were plenty of clunkers and bad eggs. When things got too poufy and sappy, lines were blurred and suddenly these “rock bands” actually weren’t doing any rocking (see: the Nelson twins). These songs could be painful to listen to at times, but for all the bad there was still plenty of POWER. Heavy metal ballads tailor-made for long nights, going all the way, senior prom, beach sunsets or a recently divorced dad cruise-controlling down the road at 35mph in his ’87 Cutlass with a cigarette in one hand and a tear on one cheek.


In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up, we thought instead of making a usual TNUC mixtape, how about just a monstrous, heavily lubricated, long-lasting, ribbed for her pleasure, platinum playlist of HEAVY WEEPERS to help you through the intimate times. The 100-song playlist is available through Apple Music and YouTube. Just click the big red play button! *Bonus videos on the YouTube version below*

To assist Uncle T in choosing such a vast amount of crucial weepers, my Colorado compadre Rachel (IG: axe_crazy) included her favorites as well. Many of the super obvious ballads didn’t make the cut (November Rain, More Than Words, To Be With You) because I think we’ve been clobbered over the head with those enough. Everything else though, was fair game. You’ll hear anthems of power love that haven’t seen the light of day in a very long time, as well as favorites to revisit.

So on one of these upcoming nights, take a drive to “the point” on top of the hill, past the big water tower. Set that baby in park, ease the seat back, crack open a Whitman’s Chocolate Sampler, that 6-pack of High Life, get the HEAVY WEEPERS PLATINUM PLAYLIST going and give your partner the look. You know the one.

Call 1-900-UNCLE-T today to order Volume One. *Don’t ask your parents. Just buy it!*


  1. You’re too kind to us, Lord T. A new rockin’ mixtape, followed by a 101 song playlist only a month later? You keep the dream alive, my man. Thanks!!

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