Hot from the bowels of our kitchen, we proudly present the all-new Camp TNUC seasonal merchandise splurge! Because it’s our 30th anniversary, we ventured into some uncharted territory this year. All merchandise is for sale right now in our store, but here’s a little information on the items…
1) ‘COUNSELOR’ T-Shirt
“A leather-clad child thunders down the dirt path to Camp TNUC. He is the man that doesn’t die. He is the outlaw that rides. The Hell Hound. The Manimal. Your #1 Counselor!” Join us in celebrating 30 years of savage terror at Camp TNUC with this limited-edition ‘Counselor’ shirt! 100% cotton. Artwork by Vanessa Vanya. Backside features the large Manimal logo and frontside features a left breasted TNÜC logo. Up for grabs right now in the store.
2) TNÜC ‘CREEPER’ Gloves
All you prowlers and slashers are going to think you died and went to heaven (or hell if that’s your place) when you try on TNÜC’s FINGERLESS LEATHER ‘CREEPER’ GLOVES! Also ideal for night drives, iron pumping, opening sudsy beers and lead singer power screeching. Choose to wear them as a pair or “single” for supreme nastiness. TNÜC embroidery on the velcro closure strap!
For more information and photos, check them out in the store.
3) ‘CAMP LIFE’ Print
A slice of life at Camp TNUC can now adorn your walls with this gorgeous hand drawn depiction by one of our longest running counselors, Vanessa Vanya. Can you spot all the hidden easter eggs in this print? THERE ARE MANY.
Printed on luxurious, heavy-duty card stock and limited to only 20 pieces! Measures approx. 13½” x 7¾”. Also for sale in the store.
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My serious thanks and appreciation to all the supporters and disciples of TNUC out there who have ever clicked one of our links, listened to a mix, watched a video, shared something TNUC related with a pal or have bought something in the store! This paraphernalia takes time and effort – without your support and comments TNUC would lose its lifeblood. THANK YOU!!! I’d also like to give a big thumbs up to Blankstyle.com, who executed these new t-shirts with absolute precision!
***Order at least (3) items in the store and enter code MANIMAL for a 20% discount on your entire order***
The 30th anniversary of CAMP TNUC is among us! Before we take part in the usual nasty hijinks, your head Camp Counselor Uncle T has something disturbing to confess. For the first time in the history of this place, he’d like to clear the air and let everyone know that HE has been the “Manimal”…stalking, lurking and creeping around cabins since around 1985. Yes, that deformed and grotesque thing in the woods that’s become a legend over moonlit campfires has been Uncle T himself, playing the studly counselor part during the day and a raw-meat eating, axe-wielding Manimal at night.
Why turn an innocent sleepaway camp into a land of “blood, babes and boogeymen”? (As beautifully stated by TrueHorrorNet)
It all started with just a little foolin’ to shake up the staff. A few innocent gags – like tossing Chef Helga’s hairnet into the new kid’s soup, pouring liquid heat in one of the counselor’s jockstraps, hiding cockroaches in the dinner salads during “health day” and flying an Omega Moo’s XXL-panties high on the flagpole. But as years passed, late night tales were shared among neighboring camps about these homicidal maniacs named Jason, Angela and Cropsey – dark figures of the night who were said to have terrorized promiscuous victims in the woods and seemed like they were having SO MUCH FUN. These up and coming psychos were really making a name for themselves and as far as we were concerned, they were stiff competition. If Camp TNUC was to go down in legend, we needed a legendary deranged misfit to wreak havoc and scare the willies out of every brainless, perky-chested brat to wander these woods. Someone who could live forever. Someone who could vanish into the pitch blackness and never come close to being found by authorities. No suspects. No leads. An unstoppable evil that never dies. When he could no longer bare not having such a distinguished maniac at our camp, he created a night beast. He created a M A N I M A L.
OK…with that heavy burden now lifted, it’s time to get start the ceremonial events. So roll out those sleeping bags, grab some beer n’ Doritos…and meet us down by the fire!
For all the new blood visiting our haunted campgrounds this year, don’t let TNUC’s confession send you running back to grandma. It isn’t total bloodshed and disaster over here. Our seasonal brochure promised tons of October fun and that’s exactly what we’re going to deliver. Here’s what we guarantee for accommodations:
Each cabin comes fully stocked with the following necessities…(1) TV/VCR combo for those horror movie all-nighters, (2) Mystery box of horror VHS, (3) McDonald’s “McBoo” pails filled with candy, (4) Dimly lit lighting effects to create eerie atmospheres at night, and (5) Stacks of nudie magazines.
Grab some dinner by 8:30 p.m. because after that our Mess Hall becomes
a battlefield of flying pizza, sloppy joe’s, mustard, hot dogs, apple pie and whipped cream during our nightly food fights. #1 rule of the roost in the mess hall: If you DON’T participate in the daily full-fledged food fights, you’re banned and are forced to scourge the forest for dinner (while Manimal lurks with his trusty axe in the distance).
During the day, borrow one of our canoes or jet skis for some fun out on the water. Or paddle out to the floating raft with your friends to smoke a joint and do some diving. But before you do, a word to the wise…some campers have reported a strange oil slick that follows people around the lake, trying to grab and suffocate you to death. Skinny-dippers have been the first ones to disappear. Hope you’re a fast swimmer!
Relax girls. The outdoor showers at Camp TNUC are safe (enough). Just remember to periodically look up to make sure our former head cook “Sludge” isn’t hanging in the trees peeping down at you. We fired him years ago for bad behavior but girls still say that towels go missing and they hear heavy breathing near the shower stalls.
Nightly entertainment can be seen and heard at our main amphitheater known as “The Pit”. Come snack on fried dough and huge bowls of generic-red punch while you bang your heads to vampire rock bands. On nights when there’s a full moon, a rumbling in “The Pit” happens when the clock strikes midnight, resulting in undead babes rising from the dirt and dancing till’ dawn!
Brisk nights at camp always benefit from a good dose of maximum tunage to get the blood pumping. Every TNUC Halloween mix can be heard on our Haunted Hits! page, which you can access on the right column or at this location!
Did you hear about Camp TNUC’s all new merchandise for 2015? New t-shirts, posters and fingerless gloves (yes) for sale! It’s all available on Monday, 10/5/15 – only here!!!!!!!
HUGE thanks to Vanessa from Vanessa Vanya Draws Stuff for creating TNUC’s new spooked-out illustrations for our 30th anniversary bash. Influenced by high-school-detention-hall-heavy-metal prodigies of 1985, her work breathed new life into the rotting soil of this haunted campground! If you like what you see, all artwork will be available to purchase this Monday, 10/5/15!
“Get in that hole, TNUC.”
Hopefully this recent photo session made possible by Iris MacKinnon Photography helps you sustain your nightly blood lust for what’s coming to Camp TNUC in the next few days. Pictured above is a perfect example of an innocent day on the beach that turned into something truly evil after we summoned the spirits of the late, great Leslie Nielsen and the (still alive) Ted Danson. This reenactment of the classic daytime horror scene from Stephen King & George Romero’s CREEPSHOW was the perfect way to close out summer.
See you at Camp very soon.
After countless viewings over three decades of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, many of us have roamed the earth wandering how much of Cameron Crowe’s vision of high school in 1982 was actually true. If only a certain long-lost documentary would suddenly resurface to the masses, giving us an hour-long glimpse of what high school was like…
Well, that time is now as filmmaker Keva Rosenfield’s All American High is available for viewing for the first time in 25 years. The documentary takes a look at Torrance, Southern California’s class of 1984 by the perspective of a Finnish exchange student named Rikki. Watch the trailer below.
Prom night! Keg parties! Punks! Football games! The mall! All themes and events are examined through the eyes of this foreign exchange student during her time at Torrance High. The film was recently given an upgrade which includes a bonus portion that catches up with a few of the students, now all grown up. All American High: Revisited is available to watch on Amazon, iTunes and GooglePlay.
Press play, then continue to press play until you understand 100% of the lyrics to this mega-hit by September’s Lost-Legend-Of-The-Month…glam rock messiah Gino Veltri!
It would mean the world to me if you played at my niece’s upcoming first communion party. The other day she walked into my garage and the poor girl witnessed two local long butts from the neighborhood getting out of the TNUC jacuzzi naked. I apologized and promised that this weekend I’d host her first communion family function. So when I asked her what dream band would she choose to rock out on my backyard gazebo, you know what she said? Van Halen. I explained to her that with my limited budget it could only be the bar mitzvah/banquet hall lost legend, Gino Veltri.
See, my relatives normally avoid me like the plague, treating me like I’m some misfit-manimal-leper who they’d love to send away on a plane with a 1-way ticket to Guam. You could say I’m the Uncle Buck of this extended family, but not the Uncle Buck that learns the valuable lesson at the end of the movie. I’m the horse race betting, Mercury Marquis-driving, microwaving his laundry Buck Russell. To the cousins, grandparents, brother-in-laws and most definitely sister-in-laws, TNUC is nothing more than a drifter. A misplaced neanderthal living in today’s society. However I can’t fault them completely for having these thoughts because a part of me gets it. The late nights, motorcycle fumes, pit stained trenchcoats, aqua net residue, quaalude withdrawals, Beer Wolf basement dungeon, Kelly Bundy obsession…I mean, I kind of get it.
But ask the kids who everyone’s favorite uncle is and Uncle T is forever reigning supreme. It’s probably because I have the last still-working, ORIGINAL Crocodile Mile water slide in my backyard, plus a private stock of non-expired Hi-C Ecto Cooler always ready to go.
In the event of a scheduling conflict and you guys happen to be rocking one of your signature sets at a flea market or indoor laser tag this weekend, we’d still love to have you play the annual TNUC summer close-out pool party at the end of the month. Just a few minutes to bask in those nasty riffs heard at the Madison Estate’s 3rd grade graduation party and this party will be even better than a Brad Wesley pool party.
OK, maybe not better than a Brad Wesley pool party.
[Lost-Legend-Of-The-Month is a heartwrenching chronicle of forgotten iconic warriors who were either wiped off the face of the planet for reasons unknown or simply never got the chance to “peak” during their short-lived careers. We cherish these individuals and devote an entire month to celebrate their impact on society. To see the rest of em’, go here.]