FOR THE MEMORY OF A LIFETIME.
Pre-planning a vacation for you and the family? Or just needing to escape on a solo mission? Stop for a moment to consider taking a trip far, far away from the ordinary.
As we await winter to turn spring, TNUC cordially invites you to a time-travel-extravaganza-vacation to the planet Mars. We’ve partnered up with Rekall Inc., a corporation that sells exotic and adventurous memory brain implants, to give you a vacation like never before.
Face it, a real holiday vacation is a pain. Lousy weather, lost luggage, crooked taxi drivers. But when you travel with Rekall, every thing is perfect. Think about it, what’s exactly the same about every vacation you take? The answer is YOU. You’re the same. So why not take a vacation from yourself? Rekall can offer you alternate identities while on your trip. Why go to mars as a tourist when you can go as a playboy, famous jock or a secret agent? Sure, this type of traveling won’t surface to the general public until the year 2084, and you may hear rumors about a first traveler who was lobotomized but…TNUC pulled some strings to bring this voyage of a lifetime to you, yes you!
Now before you bon voyage, I’d like to share some musical selections which I feel are healthy choices for your journey to Mars. The first is Electric Light Orchestra’s “Letter from Spain”. Most ELO fans loathe this song and consider it to be one of the weaker moments in the band’s catalogue. We listen to this and hear a perfect swirl of atmospherics that will serve as the pristine background music as the aircraft descends onto the surface of Mars. Gaze out the window of the shuttle and cast your eyes on the rich landscapes of this fiery planet..
Once you’ve settled, I recommend making your way over to the hottest night club in downtown’s Venus-Ville called The Last Resort. Ask for a triple-breasted-prostitute named Mary. Tell her that Uncle T sent you and she will take care of your every need.
But this club had more to offer than just mutant-hookers. Looking back at my expedition to Mars, memories of the many endless nights I spent at The Last Resort are pretty hazy. The only memory I have of this galaxy-hot-spot was the moment the lights would dim at midnight. This would typically be the time that the club would drift into a sea of dance floor violence backed by a steady playlist of Italo-Mars-disco, specifically the following song which echoes in my head to this day.
uncletnuc.com 
New Dream has got me fantasizing about donning a white suit, hopping into a Testarossa, and speeding off into the night. Preferably along the beach.