FALKENCOP.

Posted on August 9, 2010     5 Comments

When I arrived at my office this morning, a mysterious cassette tape was placed centered on my rich mahogany executives desk. I quickly opened the packaging, which was wrapped in gold foil, and foolishly tried to load it in my laser disc player (at this point I was as nervous as I was tired, due to a lack of sleep from last night). At last, I located my cassette player and loaded the tape. Before hitting the play button, I fixed myself a glass of my 15-year-old bottle of Glenlivit scotch, which of course is stored in a $700 glass decanter on my mantle. Then I pressed play, reclined in my elegant, burgundy leather chair and these are the sounds that resonated through the room…


Futurecop! – Street Hawk (Stephen Falken remix) d/l

So there you have it. I love it when the planets align and a track such as this one is birthed. Stephen Falken a.k.a. Phantom Falken, remixes Futurecop!’s “Street Hawk” which has been made available for your streaming pleasure exclusively here at TNUC Enterprises. If you like the track, you can pick it up on the group’s 12-track remix album which will be out at the end of the month through Kiez Beats. Also, since we’re on the subject of Street Hawk, all you proud disciples should know that after 25 years, Street Hawk: The Television Series was finally available on DVD just last month. You know what to do.

LOU FERRIGNO’S BODY PERFECTION.

Posted on August 4, 2010     3 Comments

Lets face it, if TNUC created any type of music, it would sound precisely like the first 45 seconds of this clip. Seriously, if I could wake up each morning to the intro to this clip and fall asleep each night by Lou reading me a bedtime story, I would be a much happier camper.

“I want people to feel as good about themselves as I do.”
– Louis ‘Jade’ Lou Ferrigno

 

A SOMBER WOLF.

Posted on July 29, 2010     1 Comment

The next time your old man grabs you by the shirt and says something along the lines of “I don’t tolerate any losers in this family, WIN WIN WIN” just keep reminding yourself that if awkward, acne-ridden teen Scott Howard can leave his werewolf persona behind for THE most important basketball game of the season, surely you can too. So whether you’re facing defeat on the coed volleyball court or struggling to make it to the finish line of the regatta, allow this soundtrack to be your guide to greatness.
 
1985’s Teen Wolf, whose Italian title is Voglia di Vincere (“It wants to win”), features an unrelenting soundtrack with 9 tracks that will surely pump your ‘nads into victory. Here’s the track-listing including a link to download the soundtrack. 
Teen Wolf Soundtrack (1985) download
1. JAMES HOUSE – FLESH ON FIRE
2. MARK SAFAN – WIN IN THE END
3. THE WOLF SISTERS – BIG BAD WOLF
4. AMY HOLLAND – SHOOTIN’ FOR THE MOON
5. DAVID PALMER – SILHOUETTE
6. MARK VIEHO – WAY TO GO
7. DAVID MORGAN – GOOD NEWS
8. MILES GOODMAN – TRANSFORMATION
9. MILES GOODMAN – BOOF

KEY LARGO.

Posted on July 23, 2010     1 Comment

Apologies for the lack of updates this month, but it could be due to the fact that i’m on my way to Key Largo to mull over business problems, examine opportunities, exchange rumors and spread gossip with Mr. Bertie Higgins.


Mix a lethal concoction of Sonny Crockett’s stylings and the burliness of the lumberjack guy on the Brawny paper towel rolls, and the spawn is Bertie Higgins. This outstanding human is 300% TNUC approved. Getting lost in Bertie’s eyes for 3 minutes and 16 seconds may be easy, but listening to the song all the way through could make you never want set foot on a Yacht again. It’s that bad. So turn it DOWN, throw some Jan Hammer on, and press play.


HEATHER BE THY NAME.

Posted on July 13, 2010     2 Comments























Heather Locklear is obviously one of the most tantalizing babes of power that we’ve ever come across at Camp TNUC. To commence HEATHER BE THY NAME week at Uncle TNUC’s, here’s a track pulled from the library that feels best for her. No disrespect to disco queen Donna Summer, but today we’re giving 100% credit to the man behind the boards, Giorgio Moroder. Here’s the instrumental for 1983’s ‘She Works Hard for the Money’. It might be difficult and painful to wait until the 3:08 mark for the saxophone to enter, but I assure you, it’s well worth it.

Giorgio Moroder – She Works Hard for the Money d/l

From her role as the sexy Stacey Sheridan on TJ Hooker to her days of rock n’ roll excess with Tommy Lee, this feathered haired vixen would make any man stand up and beg for buttermilk. Enjoy the track, and be sure to stay tuned to TNUC on Facebook for all Heather-all week long!

WAR WITH THE WEIGHTS.

Posted on July 8, 2010     5 Comments

Not feeling very limber? Is your beach body not holding up with the little foxes down by the shore? Are you ready to turn mediocrity into greatness? Or do you just not care about being strong, but care about looking good naked? Relax, because we can help. Allow me to introduce you to former Oakland Raider, Lyle Alzado.

Alzado will turn that flab into fab in no time, and requires only two things from you. Two gallons of milk plus a total ultra-low price of $39.95 for his latest workout tape, No Sweat: The Exercise Program for Everyone. The motivational music for your sweaty session will be provided by Michael Sembello (“Maniac” song from Flashdance). This fun and effective workout will turn you into the #1 hardbody of 1984. What are you waiting for!?



“One good thing about working out with apple juice, orange juice or milk is that you can finish working out and you can drink it!” – LA
MOLTEN HEAT