FALKENCOP.

When I arrived at my office this morning, a mysterious cassette tape was placed centered on my rich mahogany executives desk. I quickly opened the packaging, which was wrapped in gold foil, and foolishly tried to load it in my laser disc player (at this point I was as nervous as I was tired, due to a lack of sleep from last night). At last, I located my cassette player and loaded the tape. Before hitting the play button, I fixed myself a glass of my 15-year-old bottle of Glenlivit scotch, which of course is stored in a $700 glass decanter on my mantle. Then I pressed play, reclined in my elegant, burgundy leather chair and these are the sounds that resonated through the room…