HOUSES OF THE (UN)HOLY.

Posted on October 13, 2011     1 Comment

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Just plain ol’ House (1986) screens in a few weeks on the 25th at Cinefamily in Los Angeles (35mm archival print). But don’t let the subtle title fool you, this house is bedrock to plenty of nightmares and ghoulish lurkers that will send shivers down your penis. Just watch the trailer with voiceover work courtesy of the late-great Percy Rodrigues. This guy could do voiceovers for diapers commercials and I’d still be curled up on the couch with the blanket pulled up to my face.

THEY’LL GET YOU IN THE END, AGAIN.

Posted on October 11, 2011     2 Comments

In 1987, shock-rocking W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless was approached to contribute a song to the Ghoulies 2 soundtrack. This genius marriage of music and movie couldn’t have been more perfectly Grade-B. The formula of a B-Metal song for a B-Horror movie works as the ideal concoction for a Saturday night Creature Feature!

It’s the type of movie that you sit down to watch and by the time the final credits roll, there’s crushed beer cans scattered around the basement and pizza crust spinning on top of a skipping record. Possibly even a pair of panties hanging on top of a lampshade if you’re lucky. In other words, Ghoulies 2 is a pure party favorite.

From the band’s home video “In the Raw”, here’s the official music video for ‘Scream Until You Like It’ (starring the Ghoulies!):

The movie was released straight-to-video following the single in 1988 through Empire Pictures. This wasn’t Blackie’s first rodeo with the company. In 1985 he and the members of W.A.S.P. made a cameo playing Satan’s house band in Dungeonmaster. But it doesn’t even stop there, Blackie and the boys even made a brief appearance in 1986’s TerrorVision, where they can be seen on television as someone is channel surfing. What is with Blackie’s dying devotion to Empire Pictures? I wish I held the key to unlock these mysteries.
 
The best part of ‘Scream Until You Like It’ is how heartfelt Blackie sounds in the beginning when he admits he had a hard time seeing these puppets get put back into boxes at the end of the video shoot. Rumor has it that Blackie actually owns one of the original Ghoulies from the movie. One must wonder which Ghoulie ended up winning over Blackie’s heart, was it the Cat Ghoulie, Flying Ghoulie, Toad Ghoulie, Rat Ghoulie or Fish Ghoulie? All I know is that it’s comforting to hear that this raw meat-spitting, heavy metal-helldorado had such a soft spot for these little creatures of the night.

Lord knows what kind of mischief those two get into when Blackie returns home from tour! 

WELCOME BACK CAMPERS.

Posted on October 6, 2011     3 Comments

 

I can think of no one better to commence TNUC’s month-long splatter-fest than an overweight and out-of-shape Leatherface. He’s always been a bit big-boned, but in this clip its pretty clear that Leatherface eats ALL of his groceries and by groceries of course I mean humans. Who knew cannibalism could produce so many complex carbohydrates? Press play and watch our plump friend gaze out on the empty lake while doing some self-reflecting….then wait to see what gift he gives us in the end. Maybe teasing him about his apparent weight problem wasn’t the best idea. Some little bra-stuffer will pay.

This merely claws the surface of activity at CAMP TNUC this season. Your parents should have already received their CAMP TNUC brochures months ago, so there’s no excuse why you teens and scream queens shouldn’t be rolling out your sleeping bags and claiming your cabin on our turf. Look for TNUC pulling up in his shiny new yellow Trans Am, already in a sour mood, complaining about the dust from the road embedding in his polished new tires. Also look for Cyndi, Stephanie, Betti, Tiffany, Todd and Marko pulling up in their 85′ Bronco, blasting some Dokken. Once again, the “regulars” have already showed up including the dumbfounded jock, bullying bitch, computer class weakling, sleazy cook, the whore, the understanding camp counselor, the fat kid and of course no shortage of masked maniacs and deformed misfits running about the woods. Just the way we like it.

 



Stay tuned and don’t stray from the path because we have plenty of deadtime stories, more CAMP TNUC trailers, a brand new slasher mixtape, archery, raft-building, fishing, rowing, wood-chopping, joint rolling and…..whats that? A new music video, perhaps?

BEER WOLF.

Posted on September 27, 2011     2 Comments

He’s one loose partyin’ dude in a loose partyin’ mood. But he wasn’t always that way. Legend has it that back in 1983, when the fine folks at the Coors Brewing Co. let him loose to the public, he was a much different, darker wolf. Initially the people at Coors marketed him as a throwback to “The Wolfman” from the 40’s and as you can imagine, Beer Wolf was not the bitchin’ wolf you see in the picture. The babe-chasing, beach volleyball playing, beer shotgunning wolf we know so well just didn’t exist.
Because this early Beer Wolf was referenced to early black & white horror films and comics, he appeared old and tired, definitely not the typeof wolf you’d invite over to help tap your keg. This amateur Beer Wolf required a complete overhaul if he wanted to be noticed.
 
Well in 1986, the Beer Wolf must have grown out his pubes and started working out because he exploded on the scene and was immediately the Hunkiest wolf in every city and in every town. The Coors “Silver Bullet” mascot was now a household name and noticeable differences included lighter colored fur, yellow eyes, big lips and even sometimes neon sunglasses. This new and improved Beer Wolf always ended each picture with a big smile to show that he’s always cool and ready to party. Just look at him howling in on these partygoers during a St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

With this change, this new wolf proved to be sexier by fans. Coors went on to be hugely successful during Halloween, when “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark” joined Beer Wolf campaign and posed for a complete photoshoot with the hairy ol’ stud. Promo items were introduced such as plushies, pins, dishware, T-shirts, bar ads, posters, stickers, costumes and even underwear. Also, one of the best moments for Beer Wolf was when Coors released werewolf statues in bars and supermarkets, which had a cassette tape player that people could walk by an hear the happy voice of Beer Wolf.

Sadly as we all know, the 90’s came around and tables were turned. Beer Wolf stopped making appearances and the losers at Coors abandoned our friend. The final merchandise was shipped to stores around 1992, and these days the only items that remain can be hunted down on auction sites like Ebay or at flea markets. Currently, the TNUC lair holds the Elvira poster, a party/beach t-shirt and a neon sign. Who knows, maybe one day TNUC will buy the rights to Beer Wolf and we can see this beer-loving, good-time-having, sexy ball of fur rise again.

                                            **UPDATE** Read PT. II of our Beer Wolf feature here!

ENCINO, CALIFORNIA 1992.

Posted on August 28, 2011     1 Comment

I can think of 3 films that immediately come to mind when picturing how my fascination with California lifestyle and California state-of-mind started and those films are The Lost Boys, The Wizard and Encino Man. When TNUC was a young brut, these movies shaped my vision of California, or what I at least could imagine the coastal state being like. The Wizard marked the beginning and birth of the fascination, with the little Nintendo wiz-kid’s struggling journey to California seeming almost dreamlike. Lucas Barton’s trench coat, oversized Vision Street Wear shirts, puffed blonde hair and of course his blessed POWER GLOVE became TNUC’s pubescent-era essentials. Things rapidly change course with The Lost Boys. This film gave TNUC the sleep all day/party all night/never grow old/never die attitude that was previously described in full detail here.

 

Finally we come to Encino Man. The sun-drenched shots of this Valley city that are portrayed in the movie combined with the day-to-day action that these characters engage in were enough convincing to realize that this was home. Mini-Mart mornings and Magic Mountain afternoons were the essence of my upbringing. Without raiding these local mini-marts to stock up on junk food, harassing the foreign employees and combing Ventura Blvd for Betty Nuggs (babes), I would be a ship lost at sea. Lastly, lets not forget Blades, a place where one could play ice hockey, find an endless supply of Betty Nuggs or play arcade games such as Rad Mobile. Ahhhh, home sweet home. Now watch the above video of Vince Neil’s ‘You’re Invited (But Your Friend Can’t Come)’ from the Encino Man soundtrack.

PSYCHEMAGIK.

Posted on August 18, 2011     Leave a Comment

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Everyone can relate to the feeling of discovering a new artist/band that with every song you pull out of their catalogue, one by one they keep getting better. Psychemagik, a DJ duo from a cosmic forest in the UK (their words), had me at the first .02 seconds of their edit of the Talking Heads classic, ‘This Must Be the Place’. Just when you thought the original song couldn’t be anymore tropical sounding, the DJ duo enrich it, casting a galloping, island adventure feel over the track that encompasses everything going on in the above picture, plus way more. Imagine this song playing on a remote island where girls donned in loin cloths ride tigers down the beach, bringing you the finest local coconut rum you’ve ever tasted.
The fun continues with their edit of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Everywhere’. The build up they create to the chorus is almost supernatural and has TNUC almost spilling his lunch. Once it hits you, you feel no pain. Great edits like this one give you a new perspective on the original song and begin the love for it all over again.

Lastly, Valley of Paradise is exactly what the title suggests. With samples borrowed from the David Crosby solo track Orleans, they’ve birthed 9 minutes-plus of pure, desert-heat ecstasy. The acoustics, violins and swooping bass lines will bring you to sacred, ancient caverns of the mind while simultaneously setting your thoughts at ease. Songs like this one often start out promising but then drop off, leaving you underwhelmed and stranded, not reaching that oasis that you visioned back while perched up on the sandy dune. But not this track, Psychemagik reach their oasis, and take huge gulps from its natural, mystical spring. Now go purchase the full song! 
MOLTEN HEAT