LORD OF THE GLOVE.
Posted on February 6, 2013 1 Comment
Before getting into the first breaking news of 2013, I’d like to examine the following to see if i’m not the only one who’s noticed it. As i’m watching the credits roll on a private screening of the 1989 Fred Savage video game extravaganza flick The Wizard, I catch something on the screen that immediately melts my face. As seen in the above image, just below the credit listings for “Clearances” and “Nintendo Advisor” reads “Power Glove Advisor – NOVAK.” Pause…….let that resonate for a moment……..ok, EXPLODE.
The fact that the Power Glove was such a revolution for Nintendo and required high security clearance is so pleasing to think about. All we can imagine is that this advisor is some post-apocalyptic Kyle Reese type that visits the set by appointments made FAR in advance. He wears a trench coat and high tops with the over-exaggerated tongue sticking out and delivers the Power Glove in a combination-lock case to Lucas Barton. Finish that dream off with an unexplainable purplish-green glow that emerges from inside the case and the perfect picture has been painted.
This brings us to the bit of news that hammered down on the mahogany/ivory desk of TNUC this morning. Our two lawyers-turned-synth-lords from Australia, Power Glove, are returning to the big screen once again with their new offering, Vengeance. After the success of their contribution to the Hobo With a Shotgun soundtrack in 2011, the boys sealed lucrative contracts once again with Jason Eisner (dir. of Hobo) to provide the music for his “Y is for Young Buck” short from the upcoming 26-chapter horror anthology The ABC’s of Death. Preview the track below.
I’m pretty sure the film can be rented from one of the internet sites where you can stream new movies, but obviously since we don’t partake in anything of the sort, we suggest you follow your good Uncle’s advice and wait to see ABC’s when it arrives in theaters on March 8th. Not only do two of the best new directors in the game have shorts for the movie (Jason Eisner and Ti West), but uh…you’ll be sitting in a dark theater with Power Glove oozing from the speakers. We’ve been longtime supporters since the Streets of 2043 and Maximum Potential days, so this revolution is certainly not to miss.
MICHAEL BOLTON PERSECUTION MUST END.
Posted on January 23, 2013 2 Comments
From here on out, if people harbor any negative or mixed feelings about Michael Bolton, it can only be due to the fact that they haven’t seen his awe-inspiring video for ‘Said I Loved You, But I Lied’. I’ll admit, up until that moment I only took him for a mid-nineties soccer mom’s wet dream. On occasion I’d hear his voice reverberating through the aisles at the grocery store, or ever so faintly over the speakers in JC Penney’s women’s department, or maybe coming out of a Volvo station wagon parked in front of a fabric store. Right at this moment I could continue on and give insight about the curly, long-locked warrior’s earlier days in the hard rock scene when he fronted the band Blackjack, who at one time toured with Ozzy Osbourne. We could also talk about his 1983 solo album that’s chock-full of AOR, stadium-rocking anthems. I could do all these things, but none of it matters now. Nothing could ever reach the 5-minute, 3-second peak of brilliance that you’re about to encounter…
Do we even need to explain?
- Horses running through flames (slo-mo)
- Inspirational sunsets
- Soaring hawks
- His JC Penney trench coat
- A woman harnessed by Bolton-seduction
- Singing on the edge of a cliff
- Denim ON Denim
- Breathtaking aerial views
- Wearing a leather vest inside a canyon
- Lethal combination of chest hair + long, curly, golden locks
This guy just GETS IT. It’s times like these that I’m reminded of when the Tri-Lams overtook the Alpha Betas back at Atoms College. The previously all-black fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda, stood up and altered their ways to support the helpless nerds. We need to wake up, because no one will ever really be free until Michael Bolton persecution ends.
MAIDEN MIAMI.
Posted on January 17, 2013 1 Comment
I don’t know about you, but seeing this and knowing it exists makes me feel really good inside. To this day, the British metal and tea-guzzeling warriors Iron Maiden still have the most brilliant t-shirts of any musical unit. But this one might be their crowing achievement.
The front features the band’s signature crude dude Eddie, who’s been transformed into Sonny Crockett – complete with slacks, loafers, his 72′ Ferrari Daytona Spyder and pet alligator, Elvis. The back features an explosive babe sizzling in the Florida heat with “Vice is Nice” dripping in cold-blood-red font. The shirt has a comfortable buy it now amount of $700.00 on eBay (30% off, marked down from $1,000.00)! If I still had access to TNUC’s Swiss bank account I’d buy every one of them and sell them in the TNUC Chop Shop.
STARMAN.
Posted on January 11, 2013 2 Comments
They have traveled from a galaxy far beyond our own. They have powers we cannot comprehend. And they are about to face the one power in the universe they have yet to conquer. Love.
On Feburary 26 Swedish sorceress Sally Shapiro will release her new album Somewhere Else, with production magic once again being handled by Johan Agebjörn. Two of the guests on the album are our good friends Austin + Bronwyn of Electric Youth, who appear on Starman. The song is a supreme slice of intergalactic love, one that calls for a late-night listening session on the hood of your car under the open sky. Sally and Bronwyn deliver vocals that are mysterious and dreamy, like those first few seconds when you first wake up and aren’t sure where you are or what is real.
DAWN OF PRIMORDIAL LIFE [VIDEO PREMIERE].
Posted on January 2, 2013 1 Comment
May this recently excavated, “Lost Video” be the first indication of the dawn of a new era that TNUC is entering. Expect elements of similar large mass to come this year from yer #1 Uncle.
CRUDE DUDE RECORD REVIEW #3.
Posted on December 7, 2012 2 Comments
||| If you’re new to these reviews, the following is part of an on-going series we feature here that you’ll first be required to read about in an official “manifesto” at this location |||
Review by: Mike Ballermann
It’s the year 1990. The Ultimate Warrior just defeated Hulk Hogan at WRESTLEMANIA VI…the days of heavy metal make-up are gone but the era of the Crude Dude ‘modern day neanderthal’ has kicked in with full effect. Legendary heavy metal guitarist George Lynch left Dokken in the dust to form his own band with singer Oni Logan, who had just left his L.A. based band Ferrari. In 1990 they released WICKED SENSATION.
First, take a glance at this Lynch Mob promo shot. This band could easily be mistaken for a biker gang in the movie STONE COLD and Wicked Sensation would be the ideal choice of soundtrack. Singles ‘River of Love’ and the title track kick the album off like a heavy metal grenade launch.
‘Sweet Sister Mercy’ will echo in your brain like sucking down a Slush Puppie from the mini-mart due to the anthemic chorus and blues harmonica played by singer Oni. The lyrics speak of some mysterious alley cat… speaking of alley cats, up next is ‘All I Want’, a sleaze-filled, mid-tempo song that the magically babelicious chick at your local biker bar would be banging her head to, standing by the jukebox in daisy dukes, black cowboy boots and belly-shirt.
This masterpiece of badassness culminates with the epic opus ‘For a Million Years’. This song answers every essential question about the meaning of life both lyrically and musically. The grand, illustrious instrumental middle-part with over the top guitar work by Lynch himself will make you feel like an untouchable God. It paints the perfect picture for riding your Harley to the top of a mountain to watch the eagles fly into the sunset while you light a lucky strike (no filter). During the final song on the album, ‘Street Fighting Man’, Lynch goes totally berzerk and shows off those insane, possessed guitar skills with solos that ain’t from this world. Much like this clip of Lynch shredding the day away at his California ranch home..
Get this record…hop on your bike…drive it through the desert to the destination that resembles the Double Deuce the most, then play it loud and see what happens!
CRUDE DUDE RICHTER SCALE = 4/5 PERSONAL PAN PIZZAS
Buy Wicked Sensation here
uncletnuc.com 