LONG BUTTS Category

BUICK GRAND NATIONAL.

A ruthless snarl rumbles menacingly through the city. Tires roll over the slick wet asphalt. A proud hawk soars above. A¬†cigarette dangles from a bottom lip. It could only mean one thing. A 1987 BUICK GRAND NATIONAL IS PROWLING THE STREETS. You know how people talk about the feeling of “goosebumps” or “chills” when hearing […]

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A NEW BEGINNING.

That wise-cracking, pizza loving neanderthal Uncle TNUC (tee-nuk) is back at it again folks. Over the last two months he’s been held up in his backyard treehouse hangout, eating bag after bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos, watching horror movies and mulling over the details to this new land that we’re calling home. Weclome to the […]

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HEAVY METAL BEACH TOWELS.

You’ve probably never heard the words ‘Dokken‘ and ‘beach towel’ in the same sentence. That’s because for years society was deprived of being able to lay out in the sun and inspect bikinis while laying on a towel that sports our most cherished heavy metal bands…until now. A guy in Bulgaria (of all places) has […]

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LONG LIVE THE LONG BUTT (L.L.T.L.B.)

¬† I can remember fondly when they first came out with the long-butt. It was just at the start of summer in 89′ and one first trip to the beach brought memories that would last lifetimes and change the course of “TNUC Bikini Inspection” for a number of years. That initial trip to the beach […]

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SUNDAY SURPRISE.

By popular demand, here’s the aforementioned Van Damme naked butt scene from Bloodsport. Why post this? Why be gay? The way I see it, only back in 1988 does a scene like this get a pass. These days, if someone like Matthew McConnahay pulled something like this on screen, I’d probably start throwing tomatoes and […]

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