HEAVY METAL VOMIT PARTY |

THE SHARK LOUNGE.

Posted on July 4, 2014 1 Comment

When levels of raunchiness reach a point where a law enforcement sting operation is being planned in attempts to shut down your establishment, it’s more than likely a sign that things aren’t good. This, my disciples, was the heart-wrenching demise of The Shark Lounge. If someone wanted to assassinate Uncle TNUC in 1991, it would […]

APRIL’S DEADBEAT OF THE MONTH: CHRIS HOLMES.

Posted on April 3, 2014 6 Comments

April’s appointed deadbeat is a real humdinger. We actually almost had to interrupt in the middle of last month and pull a never-before emergency DOTM. Why the sudden urgency? We’ll get to that shortly. First, watch this infamous clip from The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years, a classic documentary about the […]

HEAVY METAL BEACH TOWELS.

Posted on July 15, 2013 3 Comments

You’ve probably never heard the words ‘Dokken‘ and ‘beach towel’ in the same sentence. That’s because for years society was deprived of being able to lay out in the sun and inspect bikinis while laying on a towel that sports our most cherished heavy metal bands…until now. A guy in Bulgaria (of all places) has […]

MAIDEN MIAMI.

Posted on January 17, 2013 1 Comment

I don’t know about you, but seeing this and knowing it exists makes me feel really good inside. To this day, the British metal and tea-guzzeling warriors Iron Maiden still have the most brilliant t-shirts of any musical unit. But this one might be their crowing achievement. The front features the band’s signature crude dude Eddie, who’s been transformed into Sonny […]

CRUDE DUDE RECORD REVIEW #3.

Posted on December 7, 2012 2 Comments

||| If you’re new to these reviews, the following is part of an on-going series we feature here that you’ll first be required to read about in an official “manifesto” at this location ||| CRUDE DUDE RECORD REVIEW #3 LYNCH MOB – WICKED SENSATION (1990) Review by: Mike Ballermann It’s the year 1990. The Ultimate Warrior […]

CRUDE DUDE RECORD REVIEW #2.

Posted on June 1, 2012 3 Comments

||| If you’re new to this, the following is part of an on-going series we’re featuring here that you’ll first be required to read about in an official “manifesto” at this location ||| CRUDE DUDE RECORD REVIEW #2 RATT – DETONATOR (1990) Review By: Uncle TNUC “We’re gladiators — pirate, hippie gladiators. Everyone wants to party […]