Whispering the words “back to school” during this time of year is the sort of thing that’ll promise a beating worse than when that rumor went around about you wearing dinosaur pajamas.
For those of you about to drag out those Trapper Keepers and lunchbox/thermos sets, Uncle T is here to ease some of your suffering by offering up a art project submission that he calls the “SCHOOL DAZE” contest!
SCHOOL DAZE CONTEST: REMEMBER YOUR OLD NOTEBOOK FROM HIGH SCHOOL? YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE BAND LOGOS ALL OVER IT? DEATH THREATS TO THE PRINCIPAL? LETTERS TO R.L. STINE? DEF LEPPARD LYRICS? GRIM REAPER DOODLES? I ♥ WANDA? THAT’S THE ONE.
DIG YOURS OUT AND USING A PENCIL, DRAW YOUR VERSION OF TNUC’S “MANIMAL” IN HIS MOST TEENAGE-ANGSTY, MISCHIEVOUS, NASTY ATTITUDE HIGH SCHOOL FORM. YOU NEED NOT BE AN “ARTIST” BECAUSE THAT NEVER MATTERED WHEN YOU WERE FIFTEEN AND IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T MATTER NOW. ALL WE ASK IS THAT YOU KEEP IT TRUE TO HIGH SCHOOL/MIDDLE SCHOOL/ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DOODLES AND SKETCHES. ALSO BE SURE TO INCLUDE A TNUC LOGO SOMEWHERE. SO USE YOUR CHILDISH IMAGINATION AND DON’T THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD! THE TOP (3) SUBMISSIONS WILL RECEIVE A TNUC GRAB-BAG OF TNUC STUFF (“Manimal” t-shirt, stickers, VHS tape + more!)
*Submit artwork by 9/15/2016 to firstname.lastname@example.org*
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On a side note, raise your hands if the most exciting thing in school was leaving class for the SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR. Fuck yes.
For many of us delinquents the school book fair was a little slice of paradise smack in the middle of a day of discipline, awkwardness and mystery-meat hot lunch. An escape from the dullness of a classroom into a world of new discoveries from the likes of R.L. Stine, Matt Christopher, Sweet Valley Twins, Christopher Pike, Full House TV scrapbooks, Mr. Sketch colored marker sets and Lisa Frank stickers. Book fairs allowed kids to discover what actually interested us instead of what teachers made us read. For many of us, this especially meant new GOOSEBUMPS.
The slime-green Goosebumps bookshelf display at the book fair was all the rage if you grew up around the same time as dear old Uncle T. The classic R.L. Stine collection really struck at the right time and place in 1992, providing just enough scares to keep youngster’s imaginations going berserk and parent’s wallets emptying. If that drippy, bumpy lettering and incredible artwork by Tim Jacobus didn’t pull you in like a tractor beam, you needed a pulse check.
“READER BEWARE, YOU’RE IN FOR A SCARE”
*Get those High School “Manimal” submissions to email@example.com by Thursday, September 15th!*