Any ladies out there feeling bored?…Unsatisfied?…Unappreciated?

What if a certain dashing prince in a turtleneck and part down the middle of his head could magically whisk you away to say, a covert mission in Paris, where you’d join him in a wild and dangerous adventure? Well good news for you because Simon has you covered. Only catch is, he’s nothing more than a deadbeat used car salesman who lies to married women to get them to sleep with him! But you won’t know that information for a while. Simon won’t dare blow his cover until he at least gets you inside his trailer home for a little midnight hide-the-banana.

Please give a moist welcome to our Deadbeat-Of-The-Month for May!

“The ‘Vette gets em wet!”
Just look at how full of life he is. Used cars by day, fake “CIA spy” by night. All for the sole purpose of getting in some lonely and gullible housewife’s pants. Uncle T (always the optimist) has to admire the effort that this brave sleaze demonstrates on a day to day basis. While I don’t condone the behavior, if Simon’s used car lot is still up and running I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than join him for a test-drive and listen to his incredible philosophies about how to lie to women and ruin marriages.

Of course Simon’s plans of seducing Harry Tasker’s wife don’t go in his favor, as his final moments of being such an upbeat deadbeat are spent dangling off a bridge in his underpants.

“I’ve got a little dick…it’s pathetic!”

[NOTE: DEADBEAT-OF-THE-MONTH is an ongoing saga giving thanks and praise to a chosen deadbeat character each month. To see the rest of em’, go here]


  1. My fav dead beat of the month! SIMON!

    Was waiting when he'd show up haha!
    One fist punch to the face knockout. So Arnold…

    “with you she gets to be real hot huh?”


  2. Simon's sleazy philosophies of picking up married women would definitely have to make its way into Uncle T's handbook of life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: