Recently coming back from an east coast trip made three things very clear to me. (1) Human beings are more obsessed with sharks than EVER these days, (2) TNUC has never stopped and reflected on the remembrance of Universal Studios’ JAWS: THE RIDE and (3) I realize I owe this blog a hearty entry in light of my recent hiatus, but this post will have to do for now.

You know what’s depressing? Some miserable asshole(s) decided it was a good idea to close Jaws: The Ride. They’ve actually closed two additional classic theme park rides that I won’t even touch today, in fear that readers will never return to this site again. My apologies if reading this is the first time you’re hearing this bit of news. The attraction actually had it’s last voyage on January 2nd, 2012 to a lucky 48 special guests on board. For those lucky enough to visit Universal Studios Florida from 1990 to 2012, Jaws: The Ride was an unforgettable, must-see-attraction that even the longest, most sweltering line of people standing the Florida heat was worth waiting in. Riders were guests on a tour boat that would begin exploring beautiful Amity Harbor, but eventually became a violent chase through the water between the boat and the hungry great white shark. Guests were welcomed to explosions, water splashes and a host/captain named Skipper. Like many of the major theme park rides, the attention to detail throughout the ride was incredible. Even while waiting in long lines you’d be surrounded by a number of nautical items strung about boathouse and neighboring areas, creating what would feel like an authentic, New England marina setting.

Lucky as I was to be a guest on this vessel several times, I felt a little seasick when I heard the ride was closed. TNUC being TNUC, I had to own a piece of merchandise from this now piece of history. I got my hands on a Jaws: The Ride t-shirt, featuring a massive shark graphic on the front and bitchin’ artwork on the back with the words “Attacking Summer 1993”. Best part though? Sponsored by Thomas English Muffins!

IMG_1664R.I.P.  June 7th, 1990 – January 2nd, 2012  R.I.P.

6 Comments on “JAWS: THE RIDE.”

  1. That's a killer shirt TNUC! I live in FL and it's definitely a let down they close these antique historical rides for some new vegan, all natural, hipster bullshit ride to take its place. The younger generation of today doesn't know what their missing!

    Beware young ones… Jaws is still very much alive… stalking the waters… waiting for intruders to take a late night skinny dip… always hungry for fresh young meat and the taste of blood… few have claimed to see him and lived to tell their tale…

  2. I have no desire to go to Universal after the closing of these classic rides (even though for some reason they keep ET). And don't even get me started on the ruining of the once amazing EPCOT Center to become an increasingly cartoonish nightmare.

  3. Thanks for the feedback/comments dudes. It saddens me, but who knows, with the shark obsession over the past few years, we could possibly see a return.

  4. Damn man, damn…

    I was avoiding reading this post because believe or not, in two weeks time I'm going to Universal Studios for the first time and experiencing the legendary JAWS RIDE was on top of my list.

    I was pissed to find out the Back to the Future ride closed down in 2011 and I never got to experience that (except when I bought a bootleg “customer experience” DVD off of eBay). But quickly having a glance at this post, I saw the word “close” so I began reading it only to find out that the ride closed :(. I ignore all news from Universal Studios as not to spoil anything if I ever went, hence the reason I never knew about the Jaws Ride Closing.

    I missed out on BTTF, The Thing Assimilation Ride and now Jaws. Were are living in hard times now…


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