Get everyone in the room together and watch this:
YES, now scrape your jaw up off the ground and play it again! The adrenaline-pumping souls at the Jeep Corporation sure knew about making one thing very clear. One thing that most men didn’t quite get…CHICKS DIG BUFFALOS. Just watch the expression on the girl with the big-hair. She even pulls one of our favorite signature moves – the shade-tip. Ladies, could a date begin any better than a guy showing up galloping full-speed on a buffalo (bareback!) then simply reaching down with ONE sweaty arm to swing you on the back of his wild animal vehicle. If by the end of the night that lucky girl doesn’t put out, it could only be from the Buffalo dung-drops spoiling the mood.
I’d like to track down whoever pitched this idea and immediately hire this person at Camp TNUC. I’d tell them they could have a permanent stay, given they provide a sufficient amount of buffalo livestock for my buffalo shuttle service to and from Camp TNUC for ladies that end up having too much to drink and can’t drive home. This way, parents will rest easy when they see a guy galloping up their driveway full throttle, with their daughter on the back of a bison, rushing to make that 12:00pm curfew.
Of course one set back would be the aggressiveness of what bareback-buffalo riding would do to your crotch. I’d at least equip myself with a jock’ and cup under my loincloth for support. Another obvious vibe-killer would be the buffalo dung. We’d avoid this issue by having our beasts on a strict, special-blend-diet-formula of pizza, frozen fruit concentrate and Cookie Crisp cereal. Trust me, it works.
The following is an alternate buffalo-riding Jeep adventure with our best friend at it again. He’s still throwing girls on the back of his buffalo, but this time he’s charging through an old western town. You’ll need to adjust your volume a little for this one.
If anyone has any information on this iconic figure of history, please immediately contact Uncle TNUC.