BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL.
Who didn’t shutter each time you heard those 3 wretched words “back to school” when growing up? There was no worse feeling than hearing some dull-degenerate mutter that somber phrase as your summer was coming to an inevitable end. Weather your season was spent at summer camp, the beach club, the yacht club or every night at the boardwalk and under the bridge hanging upside down with TNUC, the autumn air was nearing its way into town and your day-to-day lifestyles would soon alter. If you’re feeling pretty desperate, like there’s no reason to go on living, the good samaritan Uncle T is here to help guide you through these troubling times and fork-over some promising news.
The promising news is that new TNUC merch IS indeed coming your way. We realize this summer may have gone down in history as your worst summer ever from not having a closet full of new TNUC threads, but I beg you, please don’t make the plunge. New items are coming and greatness takes patience! After undergoing a few minor setbacks, including a totaled monster truck and a jacuzzi clogged with liquid ‘ludes, TNUC is back on track and poised to deliver. Here’s hoping the following track sends you and your trapper keeper strutting down that murky school hallway with that certain crude dude attitude and a gleam in your eye. You may experience some strange looks and no one may speak to you until prom night, but what do you care? After all, you’re the one who broke into your school’s DJ booth and synced up the Beverly Hills 90210 Theme for your grand entrance. Here’s to you.
Right now you might be thinking, Really? After all this, all he has for us is a goddamn 1-minute ditty from 90210? Take a hearty, solid listen and you’ll learn to appreciate the ripping guitar and bursting saxophone that appears out of nowhere in this 59-second piece of wonder. This underrated early-90’s soap opera theme has always had a permanent spot in the TNUC library.