THE LEGEND OF CARNY T.
During the dog days of summer, hardworking carnival laborer “Carny T” does everything in his power to keep his spirit together. The days are long. Living conditions are brutal. It’s hard work and low pay. But none of that actually bothers him. What bothers him is looking out at the crowds of young people and seeing the sad excuse for modern society. Pure slobs in pajama pants, oversized hoodies, guys with broccoli haircuts and worst of all, “Crocs”. Has there ever been anything worse in the history of mankind? Nothing screams “limp noodle” more than a pair of these hideous, neutered, rubber sandals. It’s an epidemic that must be contained, stopped and inevitably…destroyed.
Carny T digresses. Because when night falls, this carnival takes on a whole new life.
“The day is OK and the sun can be fun but I live to see those rays slip away”
Blue Öyster Cult – I Love The Night
There’s just something about carnivals at night. Blinking neon lights under dark skies as a Ferris wheel rotates in slow motion and frisky lovers make their move. Watching the “Tilt-A-Whirl” spin around as screaming voices carry is almost dreamlike. Songs blast from the “Flying Bobs” ride as cars swing in-and-out, hearing the distant cries of Ozzy Osbourne, Nuovo Testamento, Whitesnake and your kid sister screaming her head off. Massive airbrushed artwork is lit up on the backdrop of rides, depicting drawings of everything from Madonna to “Pinhead” from Hellraiser. The sweet, sweet aroma of corndogs, fried dough, caramel apples, cotton candy, sno-cones, popcorn, handcut fries and apple crisp is something you wish they could bottle up or at least make a candle out of.
Hell, you can even include hay bales and cigarettes into that perfect-smelling euphoria.
Once it’s nighttime, Carny T is so consumed with the dreamlike bliss of the carnival environment, he lets go of any gripes and groans about modern society. All his cares and worries drift away as he makes out with his lady after crashing into each other on the bumper cars. He watches the fat kid from his high school who was held back 5 times stuff his face with funnel cake and it makes him smile. Carny T then takes a swig of bourbon and bums a cigarette from the bearded lady. She rolls her eyes and asks “hunny, is this summer ever going to be over?”. He replies, “I sure hope not”.
This nomadic way of life isn’t for the fainthearted. Most carnies choose this life because they are running away from something. Many are haggard, weather-beaten and not well fed. Some are just a few cigarettes and deep fried pickles away from death. But not Carny T. This wandering warrior of the wind is right where he’s supposed to be.
Oh, you must be wondering what his job is at the carnival? Well my friends, it just so happens Carny T is the proud operator of the GIANT RAT EXHIBIT. That’s right, he not only handles the rats but he feeds them and gives them a comfortable home with plenty of cheese and beer. Feast your eyes below!
So the next time you’re at the traveling carnival or hometown county fair and some carny gives your old lady a look, think about Carny T and consider letting it go.
TO BE CONTINUED…
uncletnuc.com 
This reminds me of Arnolds Park in Lake Okoboji, Iowa. Ostensibly an amusement park, it had the feel of a cheap carnival – from the rides that were somewhat unsafe, to the Tipsy House and Bug House that were nearly abandoned, to the concession food that tasted better than it should have. Maybe Carny T did a short stint there…