Before we bid farewell to summer 2020, and because this year is for the pits, we owe it to ourselves to throw one last big bikini inspection party on the beach. And by “on the beach”, of course I really mean a carpeted, deadbeat topless bar that smells like hair spray, peanuts and stale beer.

So take Uncle T’s hand and we’ll transport back a few decades for a little 1-900-FANTASY…

It’s Friday night.

You and the crew are strutting down Manhattan Beach Boulevard, looking for hot moves and dangerous curves. Something suddenly catches your eye. It’s purple fog pouring out of a night club with a banner above the door that reads “Marble’s FoxHunt Bikini and Lingerie Championship”. The doorman with the ponytail is too busy schmoozing with some Samantha Fox lookalike to notice anything, so you slide inside…

Mud wrestling. Cole slaw wrestling. Wet t-shirt contests. White-hot lingerie. Glistening longbutts. Girls swinging on Tarzan ropes from the rafters. Fishnet gloves. Leather lovers. Cropped Dokken belly shirts. Mustached strangers of the night. A donkey. Squealing guitars. Pulsating rhythms. COCAINE. 

As your red hot evening comes to a close, you demand the guy at the DJ booth provide you with a copy of the audio recording of the evening. The music was too good to let go. The very horny DJ named Uncle TNUC hands you the crusty cassette…

A last hurrah to summer. 


  1. Fucking incredible. Long-butt Heaven! We need a time machine. Elon Musk, if you’re reading this, please take us back to the days of long-butts and when men were actually men. Not this pussyfication of America that’s going on now a days. Make Bikini Wet T-shirt Contests and Female Oil/Lube/Mud Wrestling Great Again. The Land of TNUC will never forget these goddesses, muscle-bound beefcakes and vixens.

    • haha well this was more of a quick thing to cap off the end of summer. I actually really dig these instrumental cheese versions of the tracks. Rest assured, you shouldn’t be disappointment with the upcoming TNUC Halloween mixtape.

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