BIG BALLS.

As I prepare to enter the following sacred scripture in the TNUC Bible, our world sits in the middle of a global pandemic. So what if I told you that for 1 solid hour, you could strap into an action-packed audio beast-feast that would harness the power of every golden-era action movie hero and blow this deadly fucking virus back to the stinky streets where it came from?

If your answer is YES, follow these simple directions:

#1: Watch the trailer.

#2: Read the following passage.

Going hard on the action sauce but holding the misogyny, ‘Big Balls’ is an expertly-arranged flashback to the hugely formative synth scores of golden-era action movies whose shooting budgets usually left 7 figures aside for the lead’s coke habit. If you grew up or watched movies during that era, you surely know exactly what we’re talking about, and if not then the music will definitely induce memories of muscle-bound megastars taking down helicopters with a machete and bumsliding over car bonnets against backdrops of explosions and such. You know the shit, and arguably for many the best part of those movies was their soundtracks, whose stacked and rippling arps, rocket-squeal leads and lush pads matched and properly heightened the on-screen excess in unforgettable and culturally osmotic ways.

The premise for ‘Big Balls’ then, finds Hurley – himself now part of the very highest tier of sound designers for film and television – drawing from a huge knowledge of this pivotal, unprecedented phase in maximalist soundtrack composition (which itself mirrored a wider phase shift from analog to digital studio production) to sure-handedly evoke all the sweat and fake blood of your favourite and most charmingly groan-worthy big Hollywood action hits. Using a panoply of extreme arpeggios, strutting 12bit percussion, sleazy basslines and syn-sax honks, he renders the finest sort of American cheeseboard that ideally highlights the style’s comical but practically avant garde tropes in a narrative-like flow and context bound to jog the imagination and have you acting out barrel rolls over the sofa and making home movies, The Wolfpack style, while under lockdown conditions.

#3: Download the mixtape for FREE here and hold on to your balls.

Artwork by Chrome & Lightening

‘Big Balls’ is the creation of Dean Hurley, a man who just happens to a David Lynch collaborator and sound designer of this show called Twin Peaks you might have heard of. Mr. Hurley has seamlessly combined action movie scores with a focused, close eye on the testosterone-pumping and glossy, synthesized scores from the genre. When taking a step back and hearing this music on its own and blended together, you can’t help but appreciate what Dean, and the original composers did so brilliantly.

As pictured above, ‘Big Balls’ was released in extremely limited quantities (200) in a stunning, Desert Eagle Gold cassette. It sold out faster than John Matrix snapped that guy’s neck on the plane ride to Val Verde. If copies become available at a future date, you’ll hear about it here.

‘Big Balls’ isn’t just a power hour for training montages as it also could be used for stealth operations, jungle missions, getting into the bank vault, meditation on a cloud of enlightenment, wrestling with a lover at sundown or cruising the coastline at night. For all you hardcore action junkies, consider ‘Big Balls’ a test of your knowledge. Go ahead and name as many films as you can in the comment section of this article and maybe Uncle TNUC will release the tracklisting!

 

2 Comments on “BIG BALLS.”

  1. Here are some I thought I heard:

    Bloodsport
    48 Hours
    Commando
    The Running Man
    Tango & Cash
    Beverly Hills Cop

  2. Some I heard not already mentioned:

    Con Air
    Rocky IV
    Nails
    Deep Cover
    To Live and Die in L.A.
    Miami Vice
    The Hitcher
    Nemesis
    Beverly Hills Cop II

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