FEBRUARY’S SLOB(S) OF THE MONTH: FRANK AND JACK.
Because we’re this late into February and only now declaring a Slob-Of-The-Month, let’s turn this into a double-slob celebration.
Say hello to Frank and Jack from 1995’s Billy Madison, two legendary, brainless slobs!
Lying around drunk all day and eating Cheetos might not sound like a life destiny, but you can’t knock these bums for taking full advantage of the jackpot they struck when meeting a slacker rich kid like Billy Madison. It’s a bummer they deprived us of a backstory on Frank or Jack, although I think it’s safe to say they had nothing going on before living poolside at Madison Estates.
Life really peaked once these freeloaders met Billy boy. Nudie magazine day, sunburns, daiquiris, Frito binges, window pickle races at the local diner, pizza hoarding and oh…lighting bags of dog poo on fire and leaving them on people’s doorsteps.
Don’t feel bad about admitting to feeling a bit jealous of these notorious party slobs. Experts call this ‘slob envy’. This happens when you don’t necessarily want to be a lump of crap, but the slob lifestyle still seems awfully appealing compared to your structured life of responsibility. Uncle T has suffered from slob envy his entire life.
Slob party aftermath…Dog, Jack, Frank and a random passed out guy that nobody knows.
I’ve been in similar situations as Billy Madison with having friends sleep over when they’re not invited. They raid the snack closets, drink all my Ox 45, trash the TNUC cabana, pee in the ice cube trays and leave empty Dunkaroo containers behind. It’s infuriating but I usually let a couple of my closest slob friends off the hook. If they’re signature slobs like Frank and Jack, I usually take it easy on them.
Now let us depart with an ultimate party anthem for cranking poolside with a stack of pizzas and a hundred beers!
*Honorable mention Slob-Of-The-Month goes to Principal Anderson aka “The Revolting Blob” who was featured in a special Valentine’s Day post last year that we recommend you revisit*
[Slob-Of-The-Month is a monthly tribute and sloppy spotlight on a chosen few classic slobs that have graced the screen and stage. We’re not just here for the big-bellied behemoths. Slobs come in ALL shapes and sizes. Fat, skinny, sleazy, nasty, smelly and everything in between. They don’t care about personal appearance. They lack basic hygiene. While some people might remember great slob performances, stamina isn’t their strong suit. They don’t stick around very long. Some collapse from heart attacks. Some never reach the 9th grade. Some drink or eat themselves into oblivion. Now ALL will be resurrected and spotlighted in this monthly feature. Let’s all remember this crucial quote from Animal House: “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son”. Hooray for slobs. Go here to see them all.]