THE BUCKMOBILE.
Posted on November 14, 2024 2 Comments
There really isn’t a single aspect of the 1989 movie Uncle Buck that I don’t idolize. One of the endlessly loveable moments in the movie is Buck Russell’s big old beater of a car — a thunderous piece of crappy power known as a 1977 Mercury Marquis Brougham. This loud, massive, homely looking vehicle is the perfect gas-guzzler for a crazy, out of work, bum uncle like Buck.
“U.B.” arrives in town to babysit his nieces and nephew after their parents are beyond desperate to find someone to watch the kids. The last on their list to ask is Bob Russell’s loving but reckless brother, Buck.
Buck makes no hesitations about doing this big favor for his brother and sister in law. He packs his stuff and drives his signature shitbox from Chicago to the suburbs in the middle of the night, making no apologies about it.
The Mercury’s exhaust can be heard from miles away. It constantly backfires and leaves a trail of smoke wherever it goes. The old beast must have sucked up a lot of fuel and be expensive to drive around. It’s a good thing Buck spends his time wisely at the horse track. “The Winter Million” only comes once a year but you can be sure Buck and friends will be there. “One score and your whole year is covered!“
I was always jealous of the scenes where Buck is dropping off his niece Tia at school. Tia is riddled with embarrassment from being dropped off in front of her classmates by this shit-kicker Mercury blowing smoke and being driven by a big man with a big fluffy hat. Meanwhile this is the exact entrance I would have dreamed about making at school.
OK, we’ve discussed the exterior features of the Buckmobile. Now let’s take a closer look at what’s going on inside.
There’s a lot going on here! The “suicide knob” also known as a Brodie Knob, is an aftermarket accessory that attaches to the steering wheel and independently rotates. It’s intended to make steering with one hand easier and faster (ideal for a big boat like the Buckmobile). The knob allows the driver to turn the steering wheel quickly from one side to the other, which people would use to spin their cars rapidly on snow-covered streets for amusement. It was coined the nickname “suicide knob” because of how notoriously useless they were in the event of an emergency, Many states have made them illegal, which includes Buck’s home state of Illinois!
A true icon. TNUC would love to open a car rental service someday which would cater specifically to old Buicks, Lincolns, Oldsmobiles, Chevys, Pontiacs, Chryslers and Mercurys. Complete with maroon interiors, vent windows, cassette decks, sofa-like seats and ashtays all over the place. Just the way it should be. It’s a shame so few people can experience this level of luxury these days.
On a further note — what is it about John Hughes movies and cars? There’s a memorable car in just about every John Hughes “classic”. Sure there are memorable cars in a ton of films but with this director/write, they seem to be characters themselves.
Clark Griswold’s family truckster (Vacation)
Jake Ryan’s Porsche (Sixteen Candles)
The only time you see parents is in their respectable cars (The Breakfast Club)
Andie’s Volkswagen Karmann Ghia Coupe (Pretty In Pink)
Cameron’s dad’s Ferrari (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
Del Griffith’s Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country convertible (Planes Trains and Automobiles)
Chet Ripley’s Jeep Grand Wagoneer (The Great Outdoors)
Eddie’s RV and Clark’s Ford Taurus (Christmas Vacation)
Dutch Dooley’s Lincoln Town Car (Dutch)
+ Buck Russell’s Mercury Marquis from Uncle Buck!
I’ve always said that November is the official start of “John Candy season”. While Uncle Buck isn’t a holiday movie by any sorts, it has that feel about it. It appears to be a chilly setting (although not winter) and of course it all centers around family life – the cornerstone of a great John Hughes film. There are obvious movies like Home Alone and Planes, Trains and Automobiles that are essential holiday viewing I couldn’t go the season without. Couldn’t do it!
“John Candy season” is also about the essence of John Candy and what he embodies in these movies. Going to bowling alleys, satin jackets, weird uncles, one-liners, cocktails, eating at diners, great music, great friends, being with family and sometimes making a fool of yourself in the interest of having a good time with the ones you love.
COTTON CANDY COCOON GOURD?
Posted on October 31, 2024 Leave a Comment
In honor of Halloween (today), the most festive and blessed day in the year of our lord and savior Uncle T, we decided that instead of carving pumpkins this year, let’s make a cotton candy cocoon from 1988’s Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
One look at one of those gigantic green gourds at a local farm stand and I knew this was it. The gourd is already somewhat cocooned shaped, so all we would need is a few kooky items to turn this giant vegetable into a hot pink monstrosity with a dead human inside!
Step 1: Wrap gourd with spider webbing and a cheap grandma mask!
Step 2: Spray webbing with neon pink hairspray to get the cotton candy effect. Then cover mask with blood!
Step 3: Document entire thing with a song from the Killer Klowns soundtrack!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
NIGHT BEAST 6:66.
Posted on October 25, 2024 3 Comments
The pentagram on his left paw told him everything. It had been nothing but a faint scar until just recently when it began to itch and burn during the night. He dismissed the sensation at first, figuring it was just a reaction from a bad sexual episode with a few bottom-of-the-barrel, local prostitutes he shamefully had to eat last summer. But now the pain had worsened and the scar morphed into a bloody, five-pointed star on his palm. The mark of the beast. A pentagram.
Up until this time, the Night Beast always enjoyed a fun romp through the small towns and big cities while partying hard and committing savagery without a care in the world. His favorite pastime was prowling the smoky roadhouse dives — they were his watering holes and hunting grounds. But suddenly things had turned evil. Mean. The Devil’s work.
It must have been the gypsy woman from one of his stops at a small carnival in upstate Vermont. He remembers her going door to door, warning the villagers that “his presence revived an ancient terror”. She lured him into her tent one night after he had too many Coors Lights and Yoo-hoos and promised to give him a palm reading. Moments later he passed out but vaguely remembers the gypsy woman cursing him and spitting some wine and chicken blood on his left paw.
Now the Night Beast fears what he is becoming. So our beloved bastard has decided that he’s got one more in him. One more time to ravage the countryside. One last gallop through the college campuses to lure coed pledges from their dinky boyfriends. I mean, who can resist that irresistible stench of beer-soaked fur and Slim Jims? The final transformation is now.
During the last lunar eclipse, a musical offering was created after blood was spilled and occult symbols were drawn to summon the beast one last time. TNUC is proud to present the final installment of the Night Beast saga and our 2024 Halloween mixtape — NIGHT BEAST 6:66.
1. PINO DONAGGIO – OPENING TITLE/PHONE CALL/DARK STREETS (THE HOWLING OST)
2. GRIM REAPER – WRATH OF THE REAPER
3. WICE – VENDETTA
4. PENTAGRAM – SIGN OF THE WOLF
5. BABEL – HOWLING (MAKE FLESH CREEP MIX)
6. HEAVY PETTIN – VICTIMS OF THE NIGHT
7. ACE FREHLEY – SOMETHING MOVED
8. ALICE COOPER – SPARK IN THE DARK
9. IAN HUNTER – GOOD MAN IN A BAD TIME
10. SABRE – SOMETHIN’ UNDER MY BED
11. KEEL – SOMEBODY’S WAITING
12. BOBBY “BORIS” PICKETT – MONSTER RAP
13. JUDAS PRIEST – NIGHT CRAWLER
14. THE CAPRIS – THERE’S A MOON OUT TONIGHT
15. THE CHARIOT – WHEN THE MOON SHINES
16. STAN RIDGWAY – THE BIG HEAT
17. KING DIAMOND – HALLOWEEN
18. J. PETER ROBINSON/MICHAEL HOENIG – END CREDITS [THE GATE, 1987]
19. IRON MAIDEN – THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST
20. JAY CHATTAWAY – MAKING THE SILVER BULLET
Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity.)
The hexalogy is complete.
Huge thanks to Blake Clark @606wizard for hand painting this year’s artwork!
Thank you to everyone who has supported TNUC over the years.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
RAD BASTARD ALERT: JOHN CARL BUECHLER.
Posted on October 21, 2024 Leave a Comment
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about rubber puppets, as you could probably tell from the last article on this site about The Boglins. I don’t think these little freaks would have ever seen the light of day without their biggest inspirations paving the way. Of course I’m talking about demonic, pint-sized creatures such as the Ghoulies, Critters, Hobgoblins and Gremlins. Unforgettable legends of the silver screen, no doubt.
When it comes to creature effects and old school blood n’ guts, the big names that immediately come to mind are Tom Savini, Greg Nicotero, Stan Winston, Rob Bottin and Rick Baker (with good reason!). These gentlemen are responsible for creating some of the most groundbreaking and memorable practical effects of all time. Most of the monsters and splatter scenes they’ve been involved with still look remarkable (and better) than the digital technical effects today.
One name that doesn’t get thrown around as much as it should is the late-great father of slimy creatures both small and large: John Carl Buechler.
One glance at this rad bastard’s portfolio of projects he’s been involved with and your brain will start to melt like a droopy, acidic goo that a Ghoulie would pop out of. John not only expertised in SFX but was a director, producer, screenwriter and actor for some of our most beloved scary flicks in the genre.
Let’s spotlight some of JCB’s talented contributions to the horror genre and beyond.
#1 THE DUNGEONMASTER (1984)
JCB’s credits: Director, Writer, Special Make-up Effects
– This was John’s debut as an actual director and man, this one has it all. A major highlight is the band W.A.S.P. being featured prominently in a performance scene with Blackie Lawless doing his signature torture rack theatrics and all!
#2 RE-ANIMATOR (1985)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– If you know anything about Re-Animator, the special effects are in a class by themselves. Heralded as the one of the great mad scientist movies of all time, John’s contribution to this classic film is part of the reason why it’s aged so well.
#3 GHOULIES (1985)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– This first installment in the Ghoulies movies is somewhat forgettable EXCEPT for the final scenes with the actual Ghoulie creatures causing havoc, which is purely made possible by John’s expertise. I love how slimy and disgusting they appear, which only made viewers demand more Ghoulies which they would deliver in future sequels.
#4 TROLL (1986)
JCB’s credits: Director, Writer, Special Make-up effects
– The first Troll movie doesn’t get the recognition it deserves because of the outlandish, cult-obsessed sequel that followed after. This is John’s second directorial delivery and you can tell in this movie he’s sharpened his skills in both effects and directing abilities. The creatures look straight out of a high-dollar, Jim Henson style production and the movie itself is a great one!
#5 ELIMINATORS (1986)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– I’m not exactly sure what John did exactly in terms of effects in this movie but I hope to God it’s something to do with the character “The Mandroid”. He’s like a dollar store version of Robocop and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing at all.
#6 TERRORVISION (1986)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– Another release from Empire Pictures that John was a part of. This is a goofy monster movie with incredible, big, squishy monster effects! A great soundtrack and another W.A.S.P. reference that John probably had nothing to do with but it’s still thrilling to see.
#7 FROM BEYOND (1986)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– This is proof why digital effects will never, ever hold a candle to practical, in-your-face disgustingness such as what you find in Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond. Plus, scream queen Barbara Crampton in a lingerie scene.
#8 GHOULIES II (1987)
JCB’s credits: Special Make-up effects
– This is easily my favorite of the Ghoulies movies because it is a non-stop thrill ride from the start. From the carnival setting, to Phil Fondacaro (my favorite little person actor of all time) to the soundtrack (W.A.S.P. again!), to the Ghoulie monsters having a ton of screen time and not holding back, this is a movie that has it all.
#9 FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD (1988)
JCB’s credits: Director, Special Make-up effects
– A huge moment in John’s career even if the movie itself didn’t crush at the box office. It’s been well documented that The New Blood had been cut down significantly with all the edgy blood and gore being stripped during editing. However, that doesn’t stop Jason Voorhees from becoming his most “zombie-ish” in this installment, which John did a phenomenal job creating. This also provided actor Kane Hodder the ability to showcase how demented Jason had become.
#10 A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER
JCB’s credit: Special Make-up effects
– To me, this is the last gasp of actual terror in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and the last time Freddy would get really gnarly, at least for a long time.
I’m leaving out a number of projects John Carl Buechler was involved with, but this list of favorites clearly shows what this man brought to the table during his career right up until his early death at only 66 years old. His work will live on forever! Now I strongly urge you to cue up a movie marathon of horror flicks he was a part of and watch the master at work!
BAT BOGLINS ARE REAL.
Posted on October 15, 2024 1 Comment
Bat /bat/ noun: a mainly nocturnal mammal capable of sustained flight, with membranous wings that extend between the fingers and connecting the forelimbs to the body and the hindlimbs to the tail.
Boglin /boglin/ noun: a family of grotesque, monstrous hand puppets with realistic-like flesh released by Mattel in 1987.
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The idea of “BAT BOGLINS” was conceivably the best creature fusion since Jeff Goldblum accidentally transformed into a hideous human fly in 1986’s The Fly. Just imagine for a moment…your Boglins have wings. The dream of pretending to fly them around the house and laying waste to your sister’s American Girl collection is almost too good to be true.
Let’s back up for just a second. Everyone remembers The Boglins, so they need little introduction around here. We’ve been singing their praises for years and Uncle T has some serious nostalgia for these little creatures. My original childhood Boglin which was “lost” for many years actually was returned to me almost two decades later (a story for another time). Boglins are easily one of the coolest toys to ever exist. If you love Gremlins, Critters or Ghoulies and part of your childhood was wondering what it would be like to actually hang out with one of these little monsters in your bedroom, Boglins were the answer.
Boglins had quite the resurgence years ago in the collector’s market and original creator Tim Clarke has been hard at work this entire time bringing back the monsters in their original form. If you’ve been following Tim and his co-creator Maureen Trotto’s work, it’s been a long process trying to get the toys remade, reproduced and packaged in their signature, cage-like boxes, just the way they should be. It’s impressive to say the least.
Up until just a few years ago, “Bat Boglins” were all but an idea that never got off the ground. A concept and prototype were due to be produced but never made it to stores. UNTIL NOW!
Yes folks, it’s quite a time to be alive because Bat Boglins are real.
Revamped, remastered and more ruthless than ever, these creatures of the night are here to scare the bejesus out of your entire family (while also being your friend). For a very fair retail price of around $30.00 on Amazon you can own a Bat Boglin, which there are three of at the moment (Orlock, Drak and Vlad).
For the month of Halloween, I had to treat myself so I purchased Vlad at a still-functioning toy store at my local mall. To be completely honest I had forgotten Bat Boglins had actually launched and were available. When I was browsing through the store and saw this purple and red bastard looking out from his cage, I knew he would be flying home into the TNUC cave.
I’m thrilled to report that these “new” Boglins are virtually identical to the 1980’s run. From the stretchy skin to the realistic eyes and the ability to control their facial expressions, everything is the same! Only now there’s more options to complete your insane asylum of Boglins. So many times companies cash in on the nostalgia but fail to really capture the likeness and charm of the original product. This is NOT the case and hats off to Tim Clarke and co. for putting in the work and making it happen. Check out the full line at TheBoglins.com.
“Bat Boglins simply shouldn’t be. Although Boglin legend tells of these winged creatures, who would swoop down from the highlands to carry small animals (and sometimes young Boglins) away in the dead of night, these are the kinds of stories one tells children in order to get them to behave. There has, in fact, never been a confirmed sighting until VERY recently. Looks like the stories are true.”
– Bogologist Field Guide (4th Edition)
BLOODSUCKER ROCK.
Posted on October 9, 2024 1 Comment
At dawn they hide. At dark they wake. At night they search for blood…rocking until daylight.
So what are your favorite vampire rock bands? What songs quench your nightlight bloodlust as you tear through the cemetery on your dirtbike? Or as you head downtown in a stolen hearse to that sleazy afterhours club by the docks?
Here are Uncle T’s “top 13” song rankings when it comes to black leather, trench coats, aviators, motorcycles, pale skin, blue lighting, thick fog, damp streets, industrial warehouses, bats flying above and sucking blood from the necks of guitars!
#13 LORDS OF THE NEW CHURCH • METHOD TO MY MADNESS
#12 THE MARCH VIOLETS • SNAKE DANCE
#11 GERARD MCMANN • CRY LITTLE SISTER
#10 THE MISSION • WASTELAND
#9 T.S.O.L. • SILENT SCREAM
#8 THE SISTERS OF MERCY • BLACK PLANET
#7 CONCRETE BLONDE • BLOODLETTING (THE VAMPIRE SONG)
#6 THE MISSION • SERPENTS KISS
#5 THE SISTERS OF MERCY • FLOOD II
#4 GHOST DANCE • LAST TRAIN
#3 THE SISTERS OF MERCY • MORE
#2 BAUHAUS • BELA LUGOSI’S DEAD
#1 THE SISTERS OF MERCY • LUCRETIA MY REFLECTION
Now before I get crucified for not including bands like Type O Negative or The Cure, I put them in a different category outside of vampire rock. To me it begins and ends with The Sisters of Mercy. Always has. Always will. They have a sound that couldn’t be more perfect for moonlit nights, raising hell and being immortal. This list could easily have been all SOM. Vamp out!
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