With Wrestlemania 35 looming on the horizon, now seems like a perfectly good time to jump inside a time machine with your trusty Uncle T.
In the wrestling world, nothing really tops a perfectly executed promo or backstage “vignette”. The really strong ones are considered sacred ground, with fans reciting quotes or playing clips repeatedly for nostalgia sake and pump-up factor. This was my understanding until I remembered the lost art of MUSIC VIDEOS that promoters often created for wrestlers.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan or wrestling or not. These videos are on a level that all walks of life can appreciate. So get ready to be moved, confused, aroused, frightened, emotionally stricken and downright inspired at the same time from watching these clips of absolute video gold. (Thanks Jason Eisner for reminding me!)
Wrestler: “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Song: Rock Warriors by The Rods
Notes: The late-great Randy Savage was once hospitalized in 1991 after Jake the Snake’s python took a bite out of his arm in a match on WWF Superstars. Savage was told at the time the snake was devenomized but ended up with a 104-degree fever. Savage lived, the snake died a few days later. Anyways, this song rips and it’s perfect for Randy.
Wrestler: Lord Humongous
Song: War Machine by KISS
Notes: Lord Humongous’ character was of course based on the post-apocalyptic psychopath “Lord Humungus” from 1981’s Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior. The wrestler was played by over 8 different wresters during his tenure in the ring. Since he always wore a hockey mask that covered his entire face, promoters replaced him without publicly acknowledging it. The character was even played by Sid Vicious for a couple of years!
Wrestlers: The Thrillseekers
Song: Rock America by Danger Danger
Notes: The Thrillseekers were the Canadian duo of Chris Jericho and Lance Storm. All I’ll say this…There’s no better fitting song for a video of two friends laughing it up at the amusement park, playing arcade games, ice skating, throwing snowballs, bungee jumping and riding horses. Just watch.
Wrestler: Nightmare Freddy
Song: Wooly Bully by The Elm Street Group
Notes: Oh, you didn’t know that after Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare in 1991, the child murderer started taking up a new endeavor: wrestling in Memphis as a GOOD GUY. Yes, “Nightmare Freddy”, played by Doug Gilbert actually came to the ring wearing blade gloves and was one of the good guys. Now I’ll stop typing so you can stop reading and watch the video.
Wrestlers: The Fabulous Ones
Song: You Dropped A Bomb On Me by The Gap Band
Notes: This tag team consisting of Stan Lane and Steve Keirn were one of the first teams to adopt the “smug pretty boy” gimmick which many wrestlers are still doing to this day. Denim, bubble baths and farmhand sensuality? THIS ROCKS.
Wrestler: Kerry Von Erich
Song: Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
Notes: We saved the best for last. Hell, the first minute of this video alone could cure depression. But in all seriousness, while it’s hard to mention the name Kerry Von Erich aka “Texas Tornado” and not think of his tragic death at only 33 years old, this video is a powerful two minute and forty-three second testament to the greatness of this man and his legacy. R.I.P. big guy. Enjoy!
Let us never forget Kerry Von Erich’s only movie appearance, playing a “neo-nazi” prisoner in 1990’s Problem Child!
Wow, someone really was excited about the zoom/zoom out button on their camcorder for #5!
All this good porn they can’t take away from us