GATEWAYS [PART 2]: PSYCHO LUNCH.
Posted on October 2, 2023 3 Comments
GATEWAYS [PART 2]: PSYCHO LUNCH.
I’ll never forget the carefree, summer afternoon of 1993 when my best friend’s mother made us lunch and had us watch Psycho for the very first time.
Why this is such a pivotal moment is because A) we hadn’t seen a horror movie up until this point and B) she didn’t just throw the movie on. She *hosted* this living room event.
I’ll never forget how insistent and convincing she was when explaining the movie’s plot and how we had to see this. She promised to make one of her specialties, linguica sandwiches, as we sat down to watch.
Those those of you not familiar with linguica, it’s a traditional Portuguese sausage with spicy and smoky flavors. Wash it down with an ice-cold Nestea or Lipton Brisk and you have reached the heavens above.
There we sat on that sunny day. Taking a break from going in the pool to eat lunch and watch Norman Bates become his mother and stab a woman in the shower. I bet Mrs. Haselton’s VHS copy of Psycho had the perfect grainy quality to it as well.
G a t e w a y s is local crusty historian Uncle T exploring his past and finding out what guided us on this journey into horror. Join us for other chapters:
Gateways [PART 1]: VHS Aisles of the Video Store
Gateways [PART 3]: Psycho Lunch
Gateways [PART 4]: Scarecrow Skateboards
Gateways [Part 5]: Children of the Corn
GATEWAYS [PART 1]: VHS HORROR AISLES.
Posted on September 29, 2023 6 Comments
When it comes to the earliest memories of forming an interest in “horror”, meaning a fascination with creature features, ghoulie dudes, scream queens and nasty things that go bump in the night, the easy answer is Halloween. Once you start at a young age dressing up as The Wolfman, Phantom of the Opera, Jason Voorhees and Jack Skellington, it’s probably safe to say you’ve opened up a gateway. Fast forward a year and Pops TNUC takes me to see KISS, which completely seals the deal. Life-sized monsters on stage with explosions, fire and blood. Not to mention I saw my first pair of random boobs that night. Whether or not I was conscious of it, I was swirling into a spooky vortex.
But when I really think about it, there were a few specific instances plucked out of my youth that if Uncle TNUC was to lay back on a psychiatrics’ leather sofa to perform a study on his brain, these would jump right out. My parents weren’t Vincent Price and Elvira. They didn’t watch horror movies, so like many others I had to seek this stuff out on my own or have it naturally fall on my lap.
These are my gateways to horror…
GATEWAYS [PART 1]: VHS AISLES OF THE VIDEO STORE.
This first gateway is an easy one! How many Friday nights did I find myself wandering past the comedy and action adventure sections of the video rental store to take a peek at those dastardly VHS covers in the HORROR section? Too many to imagine.
Just finding the courage to pick up the VHS clamshell of Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 and imagine what sort of complete psychopath would actually watch this movie was enough for me. But the fascination was already there. These movies had artwork that was so over the top and beyond what my young impressionable brain could handle at the time. Just simply walking down the horror aisles with my older sister and not renting a single thing was a form of entertainment. I’ll never forget seeing the VHS covers for Killer Klowns From Outerspace, Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, Rumpelstiltskin and Jason Goes to Hell while thinking, “you must be a certified maniac to watch this stuff”.
While I was bordering on fear and curiosity, I’d return home from the video store and be thinking about these movies. Who actually made them? Who watches them? Most importantly…when will I be watching them?
For some musical accompaniment to this first installment of “gateways”, here’s an upbeat number from the 1987 movie The Stepfather. Another bonafide VHS rental classic.
TNUC welcomes you to the 2023 HALLOWEEN SEASON!
I hope you enjoy the next round of g a t e w a y s and be sure to leave your own personal early experiences in the comments section.
GARTH’S BEDROOM.
Posted on August 16, 2023 1 Comment
From Buzz McCallister to Chainsaw (pure coincidence with those two names being power tool references), TNUC has virtual-toured some of cinema’s most bodacious bedrooms to ever grace the boob tube. But quite often it’s the obvious ones that demand a closer look. Bedrooms we’ve seen hundreds of times but haven’t hit the pause button for 10 seconds to admire.
GARTH ALGAR is a prime example. From 1992’s Wayne’s World, Garth is a guy that loves his rock ‘n roll, monsters, sci-fi and outrageous blue restaurant cocktails.
The best teen bedrooms are the ones that capture what’s going on at that exact moment in life. All the current obsessions and “statements” whether that be music, movies, food, extracurricular activities, illegal substances, horses, fast cars or dream girls/hunky men. For Garth, the five second bedroom scene is a quick glimpse inside the brain of a quirky, blonde-mopped teenager who is the best friend of Wayne Campbell. There is so much to cherish about this bedroom. Have a closer look…
1. Alice Cooper posters (there’s one above also)
2. AC/DC poster w/ Angus coming out of a rocket
3. Judas Priest ‘Painkiller’ album poster
4. Beast of the Yellow Night poster (1971)
5. Thin Lizzy ‘Chinatown’ album flat
6. GARTH IN A MADONNA-ESQUE MUSIC VIDEO POSTER!
Now you see why we do these “I SPY” articles. Seen here is Garth with a poster of himself doing what appears to be his best Madonna “strike a pose, vogue” music video treatment.
7. Led Zeppelin poster
8. Severed rubber arm
9. Horror masks
10. Jimi Hendrix ‘Are You Experienced’ record
11. Heavy metal dog!
12. Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary poster (1975)
13. Another severed rubber arm
Two severed rubber arms in his bedroom is interesting because in an earlier scene in the movie, Rob Lowe’s character Benjamin visits Garth in his workshop where he begins to hammer down aggressively on a mechanical rubber hand that begins to crawl away during their conversation.
14. KISS ‘Destroyer’ mouse
15. Freddy Krueger glove
16. The Phantom of the Opera figure
17. SEGA Game Gear
Let’s all take another moment to acknowledge Garth’s heavy metal collie. Party on!
CAMP TV-NUC.
Posted on June 30, 2023 1 Comment
I figured now would be a good time to debut the network broadcast premiere of “Camp TV-NUC” and boy do we have a doozy to show with this snapshot capture of Camp TNUC through the years.
*If possible, we URGE you to play this video on your television or whatever the biggest screen you have in your domain. This video is NOT to be watched on a cell phone or whimpy device.*
The song featured in the video is taken from our latest summer mixtape, CAMP TNUC III: Summer School Invasion!
CAMP TNUC PART III: SUMMER SCHOOL INVASION.
Posted on June 21, 2023 10 Comments
What do they call a guy who cuts classes, hates homework, and lives for summer vacations? UNCLE TNUC.
For the first time ever, these past months leading up to our annual summer fun at the #1 boner camp in the entire eastern seaboard weren’t feeling too promising. Corporate suits from an evil real estate company had seized the camp property over the winter season, threatening to turn Camp TNUC into condominiums. These fat cats with bad toupees were about to destroy our legacy.
Say goodbye to panty raids, peep holes in the girl’s showers, food fights in the mess hall, white water long butt rafting, lighting groundskeeper ‘Sludge’ on fire and our annual ‘BEER MOUNTAIN’ festival. This place would soon be home to rich geezers and saggy mammaries.
We tried everything in our power to stop them. Holding a bikini car wash at the local Hooter’s, a hot dog eating contest to raise funds, Uncle T chaining himself to the front of his ’91 Firebird while parked in front of the lawyer’s offices and even our counselors held an egg catapulting contest when the CEO’s limousine pulled into town.
After several unsuccessful attempts, his last resort was a reenactment of the turtle parachute attack scene from Ernest Goes to Camp.
Camp TNUC was doomed, and not in a good way like being cursed and having a masked psychopath living in the woods nearby. We were doomed to exist.
Finally, he arrived at a proposal after sweet-talking the real estate CEO’s snotty but starved for attention and unsatisfied wife. With an agreement from the local school committee, the suits proposed that if he would agree to teach summer school to a pack of delinquents at the town’s high school, they would allow the camp to maintain a portion of the property and operate for another 5 years!
Uncle T didn’t have much of a choice. He arrived for class and discovered the kids were professional party animals. The “classroom” turned into the ultimate summer-school gone summer-camp boot camp.
Each day would start with taking roll call, then our bus driver “One-Armed Willie” would pick everyone up and ship us right to camp. The summer school misfits and our campers were a match made in heaven. When the day was over, we’d commute back to the high school and take our seats, just before that bite-in-the-ass Principal Gills would arrive to check on the class.
NOW, to fully orchestrate the energy of this year’s strange yet satisfying summer, we’ve provided the ultimate soundtrack!
Camp TNUC Part III: Summer School Invasion!
A huge thanks to top counselors Chad Allegro (wet t-shirt judge) and Dan Gray (artist) who without their help this 3rd mixtape in our series wouldn’t be possible!
Summer Camp Mix [Part I]
Return to Summer Camp [Part II]
Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity)
COBRA MAN.
Posted on May 22, 2023 Leave a Comment
One of the most powerful, natural highs is discovering music that you instantly connect with. Everyone knows this. But how about an added exhilaration that takes it even further? I’m talking about when after the music hits, next you discover the visuals, attitude and overall aesthetic which just catapults everything into the stratosphere.
Cobra Man are a band currently supporting that rare feeling for me. The “Los Angeles Power Disco” outlet have been kicking around for a few years but are consistently getting stronger and arising to greatness and sweaty plateaus overlooking city skylines.
The band’s latest EP, “New Paradise” released last Friday is all the proof you need. Five tracks custom made for circling around the roller-rink with a Michelob and your sequence KISS satin jacket. These are songs to dance your ass off, bang your head, go after your dream girl or do doughnuts around the Target parking lot in your uncle’s ’86 Oldsmobile Cutlass.
OK, start cranking this shit to the high heavens.
Leading up to the release of “New Paradise”, the band have two full length albums and a string of singles which are without a doubt essential listening. However on the latest EP I feel the sound has crystallized by the heavy, slap-to-the-face production value. A thickness that these songs deserve. It feels grimy enough for a sweaty club with people swinging from chain-link fencing yet massive enough for an arena sized lightshow.
Cobra Man is the brainchild of Andy Harry and Sarah Rayne. I’m not going to pretend like I know the precise history of this project, but I know they’re tightknit with the Thrasher Magazine outfit Worble, providing the soundtrack to a series of skateboarding videos that are available on YouTube to watch. *highly recommended even if you don’t skate*.
The music combines so many different styles and old charm but make no mistake, Cobra Man are uniquely powering into new territory. This is the first exciting “new sound” I’ve heard in quite a while. From an influential standpoint I would guess they are tapping into disco-era KISS, elements of punk rock, Giorgio Moroder and Cheap Trick. However on a song like Bad Feeling I can’t put my finger on a single damn influence.
This was the first song of theirs that hooked its claws into me with those crusty riffs and hypnotizing vocals. Like that pile of white lightning in my Uncle Dean’s basement back in ’81, I was in for a doozy of a time.
I can’t wait to blast these songs when I’m circling around the roller-rink this weekend. Just me and my closest delinquents blowing off some steam before we hit the streets for one of those nights. You know, the usual. Satin jackets, switchblades, handful of grease, length of chain, spiked ball, wooden bat, 5th of Jack just to take the edge off and probably some frozen burritos. Party on.
Buy Cobra Man music/merch and see them on tour!
uncletnuc.com 