JANUARY’S EROTIC THRILLS IN THE NIGHT: SCORNED (1993).
Posted on January 18, 2024 2 Comments
‘Erotic Thrills In The Night’ is a monthly chronicle into the forgotten world of the erotic thriller movie genre. These sultry titles and steamy VHS covers were at their absolute peak during the early 1990’s but as years progress, they fall deeper into the abyss. Inspired by the recent documentary We Kill For Love, this monthly feature will attempt to resurrect these films and keep you on the brink of seduction. We can’t predict what indecent behavior will be committed or how much illicit, unprotected, promiscuous activity will ensue, but prepare for a wild ride with lots of saxophone.
Since January is the first entry, we’re diving head first into what possibly could be considered the pinnacle of steamy, up alone at night, keep-the-volume-low erotica. I’m talking about 1993’s SCORNED.
Shannon Tweed. You better get used to saying her name because she’s going to be a permanent fixation around here. Female talent like Sharon Stone, Glenn Close and Demi Moore may have paved the way for big budget thrillers, but Shannon Tweed carried the next decade on her shoulders by starring in what appears to be 497 straight-to-video erotic thrillers. The woman was a steam-powered erotica machine set on maximum heat. Arguably the queen of the genre.
Scorned is the sensitive story of Amanda (Tweed), a beautiful, captivating woman who slithers her way into a family’s home with a seemingly effortless plan of seduction and destruction. She doesn’t stop at just going after the man who she blames for her husband’s death. She seduces the entire family. Yes, the wife and their high school-aged son as well.
This old familiar tale starts with a corporate-stressed husband named Truman and his blonde bombshell of a wife, Amanda. Truman is so determined to climb the corporate ladder and land that higher position at the office that he invites his old pervert of a boss to their house for some drinks, cocaine and…his wife. Truman turns his cheek to allow his pig boss to grope and sleaze all over his poor wife in the kitchen against her will.
Matters escalate very quickly at the office when the high position at work is passed over to Alex Weston, played by genre mainstay Andrew Stevens (who also directed the movie). Truman commits suicide over this and this is where the fun begins…
The now widowed and angry Amanda discovers where Alex’s family lives and snakes her way into the house to begin tutoring Alex’s son, Robey, with his school work. This leads to some late night peeping around the bushes and the horny high schooler going all the way with Amanda. The twosome begin to have quite a few late night rendezvous with copious amounts of saxophone and slow-mo camera work. For a kid who’s parents forget his birthday, and a kid who is constantly fighting with his dad, he sure makes out beautifully with how things develop. The little twerp is the clear winner in this story.
After the fun with junior, she makes her way towards his father, Alex. This ultimately starts the Weston family turning on each other as Amanda makes her way around to each of them, with the previous family member finding out and becoming enraged.
The character of Amanda performs these seductive tricks with such ease and perfect timing. It’s like overnight she had the whole plan executed in her mind and it just unfolds impeccably. One by one the clothes come off and they are weaved into her web.
If you are a fan of the genre, I can’t recommend Scorned enough. Again it’s one of those titles that’s very hard to track down, aside from the crusty VHS copies floating around. By the end of this monthly chronicle, I hope to discover why most erotic thrillers aren’t given any upgrades or proper releases. For all the (let’s be honest, crappy) horror titles that are given the golden platform decades after their lackluster original reception, it’s baffling that erotic thrillers don’t get a whiff of that treatment or push.
While I know most are expecting us to end with a soundtrack cut of saxophone heat from the score to Scorned, I thought it would be fitting to feature the KISS song “Thrills In The Night” considering it’s the name of our chronicle AND Shannon Tweed is real life-married to Gene Simmons! Enjoy and sleep tight.
BREAKING THE CHAINS.
Posted on January 9, 2024 2 Comments
Feast your eyes at the exceedingly rare, never-before-seen, highly coveted album cover from Uncle TNUC’s heavy metal record that never came to be. (Yes, that’s him chained and greased on the cover). Back in 1985, the band was poised to release our self-titled album after 10 agonizing years of cutting our teeth on the mean streets of Canoga Park, California. Young, hungry and coked up, we were voted best band to come out of Canoga Park from ’84 – ’85. The band signed a lucrative record contract with one of those corporate pig music business executives. A fat cat with a cheap suit and greasy ponytail who promised us the world.
The world was ours. Right up until the rest of the band found out Uncle T was hustling money on the side after not showing up to recording sessions. At this infant stage in their career, before even releasing their first album, Uncle T was stricken with a ruthless Quaalude addiction. His decent into ‘ludes began after attending too many backyard Longbutt parties in Southern California during the summer of ’85. This lead to him starting a side hustle of modeling for album artwork to support the addiction. With a few gallons of body oil a trunkful of chains in the back of his Pontiac Fiero, he spent most of his time driving around (half-awake) to different studios and posing for band’s album covers for a cheap rate. *See some of the albums he was involved with below*.
Don’t act like you’re not impressed. Also don’t ask us to explain why the “chains” theme was so wildly used during those days. Many will tell you that Uncle T was hanging around with Tim Cappello, the oily-chained warrior from The Lost Boys at the time. If that’s true, it would explain a lot of things.
*UPDATE* Minutes after revealing the lost album artwork, we were approached by a German fan who told us the album had been stolen and released over three decades ago by a band called “Black Tears”.
Appalled and feeling violated, Uncle T is immediately contacting his team of attorneys to take action. But for now, we urge you to listen to these 10 tracks and tell us what you think.
PATRICK BATEMAN’S HOLIDAY SPECIAL.
Posted on December 21, 2023 1 Comment
*MISTLETOE ALERT*
Uncle TNUC’s first ever Christmas mixtape contains no actual Christmas songs and yet for some reason it remains a full-blown, four-alarm holiday party mix.
Leave it to everyone’s best dressed psychopath Patrick Bateman to grant us with all this tasteful music for our Christmas weekend. While Bateman’s nightly bloodlust may have overflown into his days, what no person could ever deny is his distinguished ear for music. His dissertations on a Phil Collins song or something from the Whitney Houston discography is nothing short of incredible. So for all his faults like chasing girls naked with a chainsaw or keeping a severed head in his kitchen freezer right next to a pint of sorbet, his one true admirable feature is his knowledge of music. (OK, there’s also his penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses, let’s be honest).
In the Christmas party scene from American Psycho, we see a grouchy Bateman walking around with fuzzy reindeer antlers on his head while conversing with friends and colleagues. You know, just mulling over business problems, examining opportunities, exchanging rumors, spreading gossip. Between these moments and the cocaine-fueled nightclub scenes, it always made me wonder what a fully realized party atmosphere would sound like with Patrick Bateman & friends. Highbrow cocktails, sea urchin ceviche, exclusive cologne, Varda truffles, Bacardi and the best dance music you could find in 1987.
It’s time we deliver what Bateman would have been listening to around the holidays, probably on his Walkman or up inside a New York City nocturnal nightclub.
“New York Matinee called it a playful but mysterious little dish”
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Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity. Happy Holidays!)
PILGRIM T.
Posted on November 16, 2023 Leave a Comment
Say hello to the man voted sexiest pilgrim in Plymouth 4 weeks in a row back in November of 1620…YE OLDE PILGRIM T. This stunning portrayal was done by artist Dan Gray and we can’t thank him enough!
With all do respect to Squanto, the Native American who is best known for forming the connection between the natives and the Mayflower Pilgrims, the Manimal commonly known as Pilgrim T hardly gets any recognition and is no slouch himself. While Squanto showed the early colonists how to use corn and other means of harvesting crops, Pilgrim T inspired many early settlers when he arrived on his stainless steel horse and buggy, cruising up and down the plantation while trying to impress every Alice, Mary, Elisabeth and Sarah in the damn place.
With his luscious blonde locks swaying in the chilly November air, he showed the colonists an early version of Aqua Net and how to properly tease up those crusty pilgrim mops. He showed the ladies that there’s nothing wrong with loosening up their bonnets once in a while and getting radical. Legend also has it that he brought denim, studs, leather, cigarettes and fingerless gloves to the villagers which explains why one group were voted edgiest settlement of 1620.
Unfortunately as how most TNUC movements meet their demise, things escalated quickly. Pilgrim T was banished from the colony after he was witnessed performing a couple lewd acts while churning butter with the widows of the village. Details are scarce but allegedly left on the scene were copious amounts of butter, maple syrup, strawberry sauce, molasses, liquid heat, condensed milk and cigarettes all over the floor and furniture of the Widow Johnson’s home. He claimed that it was a scientific experiment in attempts to make the first “native lube” which would make the village flourish but the head council weren’t buying any of it.
And now, to celebrate the holiday season and remember Pilgrim T and all his efforts, let’s revisit our Thanksgiving Mixtapes, the “Mystery Meat” series!
Want all (4) Mystery Meat Mixtapes in high-quality download?
Send $20 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity. Happy Thanksgiving!)
GATEWAYS [PART 5]: CHILDREN OF THE CORN.
Posted on October 30, 2023 3 Comments
The 1984 film adaptation of Stephen King’s Children of the Corn isn’t known for high praise in the horror community. The general feeling isn’t that it’s necessarily a bad movie, it just isn’t anywhere near the level of other films adapted from his books and maybe this is why you don’t hear it mentioned often. Then again, it spawned seven or eight sequels so they must have done something right.
Well, as kids none of that shit mattered to my friends and I during a couple summers spent in Martha’s Vineyard. At the young age of 9 years old when horror movies were rarely watched in our circle, for a brief moment Children of the Corn meant just as much as Ghostbusters, TMNT, Jaws or anything of that caliber.
Again this was one of those instances when we caught the movie during the innocent daylight hours, probably on USA Network or TNT. Watching a horror movie during the daytime was easily accessible, felt safe and flew under the radar of any concerning parents. In addition to that, the movie itself takes place 90% during daylight hours and we subconsciously were much braver when the sun was out.
Coincidentally during the time we discovered Children of the Corn, I was doing summer weekend trips out to the island of Martha’s Vineyard to visit my friend who lived on a farm, which had acres and acres of…you guessed it… CORNFIELDS.
I’ll never forget those carefree summer days of swimming, sailing, riding bikes and watching Children of the Corn on VHS before chasing each other through rows of cornfields with butter knives from his mother’s kitchen. A few 9 year old weirdos pretending they’re Malachai or Issac, calling on “he who walks behind the rows” and getting lost in the corn. For a movie revolving around kids in a religious cult who kill adults, our version was pure childhood fun.
It’s interesting to think back to those days of having impressionable minds after watching a movie that clearly made such an immediate impact on our imaginations. Long before the bombardment of phones, social media and everything moving so fast.
Speaking of Malachai, Uncle TNUC has proclaimed in the past his love for this rad bastard. Among the things we admire about this evil redhead with the shit-eating grin, one of them is that he always reminded me of Dave Mustaine from Megadeth. So here it is….TNUC’s vision brought to fruition in the video below.
G a t e w a y s is local crusty historian Uncle T exploring his past and finding out what guided us on this journey into horror. Join us for other chapters:
Gateways [PART 1]: VHS Aisles of the Video Store
Gateways [PART 2]: Psycho Lunch
Gateways [PART 3]: Jaycees Haunted House
Gateways [PART 4]: Scarecrow Skateboards
THE WITCHING HOUR (TRAILER).
Posted on October 26, 2023 Leave a Comment
A little video concoction we brewed up to celebrate TNUC’s 14th Halloween mixtape…
Happy Halloween!
Buy high-quality Mp3 download in 320kbps
Send $6 via PayPal uncletnuc@gmail.com
(I’ve started to sell downloads because these mixtapes always cost Uncle T a few bucks and they are time consuming. Support TNUC and I’ll keep making them for all eternity)
uncletnuc.com 