FOR THE MEMORY OF A LIFETIME.

Pre-planning a vacation for you and the family? Or just needing to escape on a solo mission? Stop for a moment to consider taking a trip far, far away from the ordinary.

This winter, TNUC cordially invites you for a time-travel-extravaganza-vacation to planet MARS. We’ve partnered up with Rekall Inc., a corporation that sells exotic and adventurous memory brain implants, to give you a vacation like never before.

Face it, a real holiday vacation is a pain. Lousy weather, lost luggage, crooked taxi drivers. But when you travel with Rekall, every thing is perfect. Think about it, what’s exactly the same about every vacation you take? The answer is YOU. You’re the same. So why not take a vacation from yourself? Rekall can offer you alternate identities while on your trip. Why go to mars as a tourist when you can go as a playboy, famous jock or a secret agent? Sure, this type of traveling won’t surface to the general public until the year 2084, and you may have heard rumors about a first traveler who was lobotomized but…TNUC pulled some strings to bring this voyage of a lifetime to you, yes you!

Now before you bon voyage, I’d like to share some selections which I feel are healthy choices for your journey to Mars. The first is Electric Light Orchestra’s “Letter from Spain”. Most ELO fans loathe this song and consider it to be one of the weaker moments in the band’s catalogue. We listen to this and hear a perfect swirl of atmospherics that will serve as the pristine background music as the aircraft descends onto the surface of Mars. Gaze out the window of the shuttle and cast your eyes on the rich landscapes of this fiery planet..

Electric Light Orchestra – Letter From Spain Download link

Once you’ve settled, I recommend making your way over to the hottest night spot in downtown Venus-Ville called The Last Resort. Ask for a triple-breasted-prostitute named Mary. Tell her that TNUC sent you and she will take care of your every need.

But this club had more to offer than just mutant-hookers. Looking back at my expedition to Mars, memories of the many endless nights I spent at The Last Resort are very hazy. The single only memory I have of this galaxy-hot-spot was when they would dim the lights at midnight. This would typically be the time that the club would drift into a sea of dance floor violence backed by a steady playlist of Italo-Mars-disco, specifically the following song which still echoes in my head to this day..

Kano – Ikeya Seki Download link