A STEAMY MOMENT OF SILENCE.
I’m not going to lie, what you’re about to read in the following paragraphs might make you hurl up that megaburger you wolfed down earlier. If you’ve been a regular stay around here lately then you’ve probably noticed the number of blacked out photos with obnoxious lines running through them. An unexplainable bug nestled into our mainframe recently and has caused this havoc. Unfortunately some of your beloved archives on this site are going to be missing some of their key necessities, until we do some repairs that is. It’s not what you’re assuming, TNUC did NOT pass out on his supercomputer high on quaaludes and smashed pizza cheese into a couple of the microchips to cause these problems. My best guess is that it’s some Starbucks-obsessed, cross-legged-sitting bookworm that must have snapped after he spilled his soy caramel mocciato on his iPad and for whatever reason took it out on TNUC.
Please don’t actually take a moment of silence about this matter as the post title suggests. That would not only be a weak testament to our hard-hitting creed but would be irrelevant because we have a sax-soaked track for your listening/reflecting pleasure. This is the ‘Main Title Theme’ by Trevor Jones off the soundtrack to the massively underrated, late night thriller Sea of Love. This track has iced my loins since the first time hearing and seeing how it was used in the film. I’ve heard some people say the soundtrack sounds reminiscent of a 3 a.m., Cinemax soft-core skin flick. Need I say more? Detective Frank Keller’s (Al Pacino) exhausted, beaten down energy throughout the film is just the feeling your #1 Uncle-of-the-Decade has been identifying with as of late. But just like this tired old cop working the beat, all it’s going to take is a little time, a high-heeled temptress and some laps around the city at night to get this place back in business.
TNUC may need the help of the followers of this lawless land during these dark times. If you’re willing to grab a pitchfork or raise a flaming torch with us, please don’t hesitate. As much backing and support as possible is best. Sit tight, we’ll be back to our regular scheduled programs in no time.